Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife - Part 50
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Part 50

Josiah was very tickled, and he sez with a proud happy look, "Yes, I spoze I am a good deal like him, he wuz as brave as a lion, had good sound horse sense and----"

But I sez calmly, "I dare presoom to say, Josiah, that that is so. But I wuz alludin' to his appet.i.te, I have hearn that he had a splendid and immense appet.i.te."

Josiah acted huffy, and I drawed his attention off onto the corners of base relief and the white statters ornamentin' the ruff.

To our great sorrow, we found that Emperor William wuzn't to home. I spoze it will be a great disappointment to him when he hears on't that Josiah and I had really been there right to his home and he shouldn't be there. I well know how bad I should feel if Potentates come to Jonesville and I happened to be off on a tower. And then I honored Emperor William for his kind heart and kind actions and his good sense, and felt bad enough to think I wuzn't goin' to see him.

But owin' to Robert Strong's gittin' a letter from somebody to somebody, we went through the palace just as I would want William to go through our house in Jonesville and the carriage-house and barn, if we happened to be away a visitin' when he come our way.

And oh, what a sight that palace wuz on the inside when we come to go through it, and the outside too looked well, very strong and ma.s.sive and handsum and big, enormous big.

Why, it contains six hundred rooms. And Miss Cornelius Bobbett thought she had reached the very hite of grandeur when she moved into their new house that had six big rooms beside the bedrooms. And it did go fur ahead of the average Jonesville housen. But when I stood in William's white saloon and our party wuz givin' utterance to different e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.ns of surprise and admiration I only sez instinctively:

"Oh, if Sister Cornelius Bobbett only could see this room! what would she say? How her pride would be lowered down."

For it did seem to me the most beautiful room I ever beheld. It was more than a hundred feet long, and about half that in width, and the crystal glitter overhead reflected in the shinin' floor below wuz ahead of anything I had ever seen, as brilliant as a hull forest of ice-sickles mingled in with statutes and columns and angels and everything else beautiful.

Here in this room Sessions of Parliament are opened. And I thought the laws ort to be grand and n.o.ble indeed to make 'em worthy of the place they was made in.

But, immense as this room wuz, the picture gallery is most as big agin and full of beauty and inspiration from wall to wall and from floor to ceilin'. The palace chapel is kinder round in shape, and has all sorts of soft and rich-colored marbles in the floor and wall. The altar wuz made of Egyptian marble, a kind of buff color, and the pulpit wuz made of Carrera marble. I spoze powerful sermons have been preached from that pulpit.

In Berlin the most beautiful pictures are to be seen on every side on palace walls and in picture galleries, Dorothy and Robert just doted on 'em and so did I. But Josiah always complained of his corns whilst walkin' through 'em. A picture gallery just started them corns to achin' the worst kind from his tell.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Samantha points out the beauties of the White Saloon.--Page 430.]

The Bourse is sunthin' like our stock exchange, but big enough to accommodate thousands of money-seekers. I spoze they have lively times here anon or oftener--the river Spree runs right in front on't (though I don't think that makes a mite of difference).

More than fifty bridges cross this river and it divides out into ca.n.a.ls and little streams, all of which comes together agin and flows away into the sea.

The Alson bridge is one of the most beautiful bridges I ever sot my eyes on, and not fur off is the Alson Platz, a very charming public garden. Shady paths, trees, flowers, sculpture, all make this garden very attractive.

Not fur off is the Konigs Platz, one of the most imposing parts of the city. In the centre of this square stands the grand monument to Victory, it is high and lofty as a monument to Victory ort to be, solid and ma.s.sive at the base (for in order to be successful you have got to have a good underpinnin' of principle and gumption) and crowned with a n.o.ble-lookin' figger, standin' amidst a flock of eagles.

The Royal Theatre is a handsome building and looks some in front like our own Capitol in Washington, D. C. It stands between two meetin'-houses, as if it laid out to set back and enjoy its neighborhood and be real respectable.

In front of it stands a fine monument to the German poet, Schiller. I sot store by him. Thomas J. used to read his books to his Pa and me a good deal when he wuz tendin' the Cademy to Jonesville, his dramas and his poems, so Josiah and I felt quite well acquainted with him, and when we see his name here amidst foreign seens it give us quite agreeable emotions, some as if we wuz a travellin' in Africa and should see a obelisk riz up with Deacon Henzy's name on it. Also I wuz interested in looking at the beautiful equestrian statute of Frederic William the ill.u.s.trious elector, who did so much to make his country great.

It stands on a bridge, as if dominating sea and land, as he did a good deal whilst he wuz alive. He looks calm and powerful, and has a look on his face as if he could do most anything he sot out to do. And the four slaves grouped round the base of the statute seem to look up to him as if they trusted him implicitly.

His clothes wuzn't exactly what I would want Josiah sculped in if he wuz to be rared up in marble, and it seems as if so many skirts and such a long cloak floatin' out must be in a man's way if he wuz in a hurry. But where is there anything perfect here below? It wuz remarkably handsome, take it as a hull.

Dorothy and Robert said they wanted to see the statute of Gerty.

And Josiah whispered to me and sez, "Gerty who? I didn't know as they knew any Gertrude that wuz buried here."

And I whispered back, "They mean Goethe, Josiah. You know Thomas J.

has read us quite a lot of his writings." Sez I, "Don't you remember about little Mignon, who wuz so home-sick for her own land, and would keep askin':

'Knowest thou the land where citron apples bloom, And oranges like gold amidst the leafy gloom?'

"You remember it, Josiah. I've seen you shed tears when he wuz readin'

about her."

And Josiah whispered back in a loud shrill whisper that I know they hearn: "If they wanted to see Go-ethe, why didn't they say Go-ethe?"

(He always would p.r.o.nounce his name to rhyme with sheath.)

I felt mortified, nothin' seems worse when you're tryin' to quell a pardner down than to have him whisper back so loud. Why, I have had Josiah right to my own table when I've had company and he wuz makin'

onlucky remarks, I've known him to ask me right out what I wuz steppin' on his toe for, and I wuz worse off than as if I hadn't tried to curb him in. But then he has a host of good qualities, and pardners are dretful handy lots of times. But life is a kind of a warfare to the best and happiest on us.

Well we all went to see the statute to Goethe; it stands in a pleasant spot in the Thiergarten surrounded by shrubs and trees. The face of the great poet is full of the sadness and glory of them that see visions and dream dreams. Grouped about him are the sculptured forms of Tragedy, Lyrical Poetry, and Research. It wuz a impressive monument and rousted up more emotions in me than any that I see in Berlin.

Well, we didn't stay long in Prussia, for the cords that wuz drawin'

us home tightened from day to day, the children and Philury drawin'

them cords closter ever and anon with long and loving letters, and we hastened on to Hamburg. It wuz a lovely day when we sot out on our journey and we wuz all feelin' well, specially Josiah and I, for every revolution of the wheels brought us nigher to our beloved Jonesville and every toot of the engine seemed to shout afresh the joyful tidin's to us that we had sot our faces towards the bright hearth stun of home.

We had no eventful experiences on the journey to relate, unless it wuz a interview we had with a young man, a Freshman I believe he wuz from some college, travellin' with his tutor, and he seemed real fresh, he seemed to have plenty of money but a scarcity of brains, or mebby he had enough brains, but they seemed to be in a sort of a soft state, and I guess they'll harden up some when he gits older if he has good luck with them.

I wuz most a good mind to advise him to set in the sun bareheaded all he could, thinkin' mebby it might harden 'em some, but didn't know how it would be took.

He thought he knew a sight, but the shadder he really cast on worldly affairs wuz exceedingly small, he could step over it the hull time, but he felt that it reached the horizon. Robert talked quite a good deal with him, to pa.s.s away the time I spoze, but there wuz a queer smile in his eyes and kinder patient and long sufferin' as if to say:

"You'll know more in the future than you do now and I'll bear with you."

The young man thought he wuz patronizin' Robert, I knew from his liniment. He wuz a infidel, and seemed to think it made him very smart. You know some folks do think it is real genteel to doubt and a mark of a deep thinker.

I hearn him go on for quite a spell, for Robert wouldn't argy with him, thinkin' I spoze it might strain his arm to hit at vacancy. But at last I seemed to have to speak up to Miss Meechim and say:

"How strange it is that some folks think the less they believe the bigger it makes 'em, but good land! it don't take much intellect to believe in nothin', it don't strain the mind any if it is ever so weak."

I guess he hearn me, for he kinder changed his talk and went to patronizin' the seenery. Well, it wuz beautiful a good deal of the way, though at the last of our journey it broke out rainy all of a sudden right whilst Josiah wuz all engaged in admirin' a particular view, and it grew cold and disagreeable. And he bein' tired out, worried a sight about the rain and the suddenness on't and how it stopped his sight-seein' and brung on his rumatiz, and he complained of his corns and his tight boots, and said that I had ort to seen that he wuz dressed thicker, and fretted and acted. And I sez:

"You've got to take things as they come, Josiah. I couldn't send anybody out this mornin' to bring in a pail of weather to see if it wuz goin' to rain. You've got to take it as it comes, and when it comes, and make the best on't."

But he still acted restless and oneasy, and most cried, he felt so bad. And I went on and dilated on the merits of calmness and serenity and how beautiful traits they wuz and how much to be desired.

And he snapped me up enough to take my head off, and said that he "couldn't always be calm and wuzn't goin' to try to be."

"No," sez I reasonable, "you've got to be megum in that, or in eatin'

bread and milk; of course, you could kill yourself on that, though it seems innocent and harmless; you can carry everything too fur."

And seein' that his liniment still bore the marks of restless oneasiness and onhappiness, I eppisoded a little on his side of the question, for what will not a woman do to ease a pardner's mind and comfort him?

"Yes, Josiah, Cousin Joel Smith's life used to be so serene and so deadly calm on all occasions that she used to mad Uncle Joel, who wuz of a lively and active temperament, like the most of the Smiths.

"I asked Joel once on a visit there, when she had been so collected together and monotonous in aspect, and talked with such oneven and sweetness of tone that I got dead tired on't myself, and felt that I had been lookin' on a sunbaked prairie for months, and would have been glad enough to had her got up a change of liniment some way, and a change of axent higher or lower, I sez to Cousin Joel.

"Do you spoze Serintha Jane would git excited and look any different and talk any faster or louder if the house should get afire?"

And he said no, the house did git afire once, when he wuz away. And she discovered it in the morning whilst she wuz makin' some scollops in her hair (she always had her hair scolloped just as even as ever a baby's petticoat wuz), keepin' that too calm and fixed through bangs and braids. She had scolloped it on one side and wur just beginnin' it on the other when she see the fire, and she went gently to the door, opened it in a quiet ladylike way, and asked a neighbor goin' by in her low even axent, if he would kindly stop a minute. And the neighbor stopped and she said sweetly: