Nor is there anything wrong with occasionally sending your pal off to chill in a crate during the visit of a dog-averse friend.66 All too often, however, crates are turned into lockups67 for dogs who destroy stuff out of loneliness and boredom while their owners are away from home for extended periods. I've said it before, but it bears repeating here: "Bad human, bad human!" for dogs who destroy stuff out of loneliness and boredom while their owners are away from home for extended periods. I've said it before, but it bears repeating here: "Bad human, bad human!"

No matter what your intent, you can't stick a dog into a crate cold turkey and expect her not to regard it as punishment. Crate training takes time and effort; the extent of both will depend on your dog's age and her history with confinement. Dogs who come from puppy mills may be used to being caged and find it comfortingly familiar, while those who land at a shelter after living in a home for many years may resist anything that reminds them of the pound.

The Humane Society's website, www.hsus.org, offers a detailed program (click on "pets" and then "pet care") for crate training. Some quick tips for acclimating your dog to her faux den include ...

a.s.sociating the crate with good things such as food and toys.

Feed your dog in a crate and keep her toys in it when it's unlocked and she'll begin thinking there might be benefits to entering.

Introducing the crate in a room that your dog likes and that you spend time in.

You don't want your dog to think of the crate as a canine Elba. Put it in a family room, kitchen, or other place where you hang out, so your dog doesn't think he's being exiled or isolated.

Pacing the length of confinement.

Leave your dog in the crate for progressively longer periods of time. Initially, stay in your home while your dog is in his.

Rewarding quiet behavior.

Yes, your dog may initially bark or whine when you lock her in a crate. Resist the guilt that these sounds will inspire, and give your pup a treat as soon as she calms down. If you simply release her, she'll think that complaining is the route to getting sprung.

Limiting the crate's use as a dogsitter subst.i.tute.

No matter how used to the crate your dog is, it's no subst.i.tute for exercise and company. If your dog is sufficiently tired, she won't need to be confined.

Crates are available in a range of materials, from plastic and wood to wicker, but the most practical are the collapsible wire variety. Not only are these portable, but they can be gussied up to your heart's desire. Dogs like to have a bit of privacy, so you can drape anything over the enclosures, from old towels or sheets to designer covers with acoustic muting properties-and even get coordinating mats to line the bottom of the doggie den. The only problem with some wire crates is the gap between the bottom and the bars, where a dog could catch his paw. A well-fitted blanket or other lining-which you'll likely put in anyway, for warmth and comfort-should take care of that.

And before leaving your dog unattended, always remove any collar with tags that could get tangled on the bars. If your dog survives this traumatic experience-she might, in a panic, try to back up and thus cut off her airwaves-she'll never again consider the crate a refuge.

CHAPTER 7.

FUN AND GAMES AT HOME.

71. AM I BORING MY DOG?.

If you're talking about having caught your dog yawning, the answer is "I couldn't say." As I mentioned in Chapter 6, yawning is often a sign of stress, so your dog might be trying to hint that he needs some s.p.a.ce.

Or not. My friend Clare's dog, Archie, is a master of the fake yawn. Archie knows that barking is frowned upon as an attention-getter, but opening his mouth wide and making noises while pretend-yawning always makes Clare laugh and then do his bidding.

And it's possible your dog is sleepy.

But just because his yawns don't reflect on your conversational skills, that doesn't mean you're not boring your dog. Most dogs, and especially purebreds, are hard-wired to perform jobs like guarding, herding, and retrieving.68 It was their "will work for food" ethic that got us to share our dinners-and our shelters-with them in the first place. If they're not allowed to do the work they're suited for, they get antsy. Which is true of humans, too. It was their "will work for food" ethic that got us to share our dinners-and our shelters-with them in the first place. If they're not allowed to do the work they're suited for, they get antsy. Which is true of humans, too.

Luckily for them, however, dogs don't have to worry about taking dead-end jobs to pay the bills. Give them enough-and suitable-exercise,69 and they'll embrace the freeloading lifestyle. and they'll embrace the freeloading lifestyle.

But meaningful work or a facsimile thereof isn't the only thing dogs need to stave off boredom. If anything, dogs are more social than we are, and hate being left alone for long periods of time. It doesn't help that they're barred from getting library cards and accessing the Internet. See questions 75 and 76 for some absentee entertainment suggestions.

72. HOW MUCH EXERCISE IS ENOUGH FOR MY DOG?.

It depends. The goal is to tire your dog out or at least take the edge off her restlessness, as well as keep her trim and fit. Some breeds have far more energy than others-you checked before you got your dog, right?70-and all have different exercise needs at different life stages. Ask your vet about the best fitness regimen for your dog.

Your pooch will also let you know, one way or the other, if she's getting enough exercise-perhaps by acting out, or by putting on so much weight that you'll have to keep loosening the straps on her waist-hugging halter.

She'll also let you know if she's getting too much of a work-out. Panting excessively is one sign (be sure to bring along enough water on your outings). Civil disobedience is another. Having decided that a brisk walk we were taking with my friend Kate and her dog, Kukula, was going on a bit too long, Frankie parked his little b.u.t.t down in a stolid "I prefer not" pose in the middle of the path. Much to my relief-carrying even 11 pounds can be hard after a couple of miles, especially when they're squirming-Frankie was perfectly fine to walk back on his own four legs. He just wanted to let us know that if we were to proceed any farther, he couldn't guarantee his continuing partic.i.p.ation. I wish I were as good at enforcing my limits.

73. WHAT IF I'M NOT FIT ENOUGH TO EXERCISE MY DOG SUFFICIENTLY?

Few humans are capable of keeping up with large, high-energy dogs. This is where props-everything from Frisbees and treadmills to tennis-ball pitching machines-come in. Again, every dog has different interests and capabilities; some like to fetch, others to swim, still others to run with a dog park pack. You just need to figure out what works with your dog's drives, social skills-and size. For example, some large dogs may swallow, rather than retrieve, tennis b.a.l.l.s.71 Let physics be your friend, too. If you stand or sit at the top of an incline and toss a stick down it, your dog will burn more calories than if you perform the same ritual on a flat surface.

And don't forget that, in an off-leash area (or with a very long leash), dog hikes and walks are far longer than human walks. A key theorem of dog math is that for every mile you walk, your dog will cover three or four. This includes the constant returns to show you something disgusting she's picked up or to check that you're still around and on the move before ambling off again to continue her investigations.

Mental exercise is also essential for most breeds-and you don't have to be in shape to provide it. All you need is patience, a sense of fun, and intelligence equal to or above that of your dog.72 There are training sessions, for one thing; you might try to teach your dog a new word or trick every day in two or three five-minute sessions. And there are simple games. My friend Jennifer plays hide and seek with her Pit Bull, Beau, and other people I know make their dogs search for treats strategically placed around the house. There are training sessions, for one thing; you might try to teach your dog a new word or trick every day in two or three five-minute sessions. And there are simple games. My friend Jennifer plays hide and seek with her Pit Bull, Beau, and other people I know make their dogs search for treats strategically placed around the house.

And, naturally, you can buy educational toys. In addition to the playthings mentioned in the "Toys" section of question 75, which can safely occupy your dogs while you're away, toys that challenge your dog's mind but require supervision include the soft Puzzle Plush playthings made by Kyjen (www.kyjen.com) and the (mostly) wooden toys in the Zoo Active line by Nina Ottosson (www.nina-ottosson.com).

74. SHOULD I GET A SECOND DOG TO KEEP MY DOG COMPANY IF I WORK LONG HOURS?.

Only if you want a second dog. Another dog math theorem is that taking care of two dogs requires more than twice the effort of taking care of one, not half. After that, the amount of labor involved increases exponentially, requiring advanced canine algebra to calculate.

And there's no guarantee that the two dogs will get along, your matchmaking efforts notwithstanding. Even if they seem well suited initially, things change. My friend Barbara's two dogs were great friends until Lucy got sick and couldn't play with her pal Halo for a while. After Lucy recovered, Halo declined to resume their relationship, perhaps on the once-snubbed principle. And two dogs in my neighborhood that are left out in their yard all day bark in a cacophony of distress, their misery unmitigated by company.

If you crave canine diversity or want to rescue another dog, more power to you. And your first dog may well be grateful. But if you're primarily motivated by guilt (always tops on my motivation list), divert the extra money you'd spend on food, vet care, and training to some of the pet entertainment possibilities described in the next two questions.

75. HOW CAN I KEEP MY DOG FROM GETTING BORED AT HOME WHILE I'M AT WORK?

Avoiding boredom is crucial for both your dog's well-being and yours. Ennui-not to mention existential angst-might make a dog run around the house chewing stuff up, or it might inspire him to try to escape, convinced you're out there somewhere, ready to entertain him, if only he could find you.

Alternatively, boredom could cause your dog to sleep excessively and mope. Although depression doesn't cost nearly as much as destruction, it is more heart-wrenching. When you're not angry at your pup for wrecking the house, you're open to feeling really, really bad that he's unhappy.

Give your pooch as much exercise as possible before you leave for the day, and avoid making a big exit scene. If you act as though going to work is no big deal, your dog will often respond in kind.

Some possibilities for keeping your dog happy include the following.

AUDIOVISUALS.

Leaving the radio, TV, DVD, or CD player on all day may not be energy efficient but if it cheers up your destructive pup, it will definitely be cost effective.

TV/DVD.

Dogs are never asked to take part in Nielson media surveys and, as far as I know, no studies have been conducted to determine canine TV preferences. Nor has cable or network programming been geared toward dogs. Animal Planet would seem an obvious channel choice but many dogs, including Frankie, are simply not interested in the shows.73 Others try to attack the TV to get at the creatures inside. And still others take a moral stand, preferring only commercial-free broadcasting. Others try to attack the TV to get at the creatures inside. And still others take a moral stand, preferring only commercial-free broadcasting.

No worries. Several DVDs have been geared toward your pup's viewing pleasure. They include While You Are Gone, While You Are Gone, compiled by Bradley Joseph, compiled by Bradley Joseph,74 featuring deer, ducks, geese, and wolves. It's well reviewed on its distributor's site, featuring deer, ducks, geese, and wolves. It's well reviewed on its distributor's site, Amazon.com. Doggy Daycare DVD, Doggy Daycare DVD, put out by Off the Wall Entertainment (O.T.W.E.; put out by Off the Wall Entertainment (O.T.W.E.; www.otwe.biz), highlights the Puppy Cup, a soccer match between two teams of Golden Retrievers. Go Dog's Dog Sitter II Dog Sitter II-the sequel, of course, to the ever-popular Dog Sitter Dog Sitter-includes some obedience training clips and sequences of dogs doing incredible tricks to inspire (or shame) your pup.

CDs Based on observations at many animal shelters and clinics, music does indeed soothe the savage breast. What kind? According to Susan Wagner, a veterinary neurologist, dogs like slow tempos and not a lot of complexity in their compositions. Because they hear at such high frequencies, they also prefer quiet sounds, so What kind? According to Susan Wagner, a veterinary neurologist, dogs like slow tempos and not a lot of complexity in their compositions. Because they hear at such high frequencies, they also prefer quiet sounds, so Through a Dog's Ear Through a Dog's Ear ( (www.throughadogsear.com), the CD that Wagner produced and sells in conjunction with her book on the topic, should be played at a low volume. Of course, no one would blast Canine Lullabies Canine Lullabies ( (www.caninelullabies.com), created by former songwriter and record producer Terry Woodford, who discovered that what was effective for calming human babies also worked on the furry variety. The reverse holds true, too, according to a.s.sertions on Amazon that Dog Gone Cla.s.sical Music: Mozart Dog Gone Cla.s.sical Music: Mozart makes babies mellow out. Also favorably reviewed are the makes babies mellow out. Also favorably reviewed are the Music Dogs Love: While You Are Gone CD, Music Dogs Love: While You Are Gone CD, a companion to the DVD (see the previous section); and a companion to the DVD (see the previous section); and Music My Pet, Music My Pet, a cla.s.sical mix created by Tom Nazziola, the princ.i.p.al performer on Baby Einstein CDs and DVDs. a cla.s.sical mix created by Tom Nazziola, the princ.i.p.al performer on Baby Einstein CDs and DVDs.

Radio I'm not sure that DogCat Radio (www.dogcatradio.com),75 a Los Angeles-based Internet streaming station for pets and their owners, can be considered soothing. The play list ranges from disco to Top 40 and Spanish pop, and there's a lot of pet-oriented chat that's useful to owners but not aimed at calming their four-legged charges. That said, if your pup likes an upbeat sound, leave your computer tuned in to the station. a Los Angeles-based Internet streaming station for pets and their owners, can be considered soothing. The play list ranges from disco to Top 40 and Spanish pop, and there's a lot of pet-oriented chat that's useful to owners but not aimed at calming their four-legged charges. That said, if your pup likes an upbeat sound, leave your computer tuned in to the station.

When in doubt, leave your dog tuned in to your local long-hair music station. And lay off the heavy metal. In studies of audio preferences, many hounds howled in protest when they were subjected to it.

TOYS.

Not all toys that can keep dogs occupied for long periods76 are suited to serve as distractions while you're away. Especially dangerous are those with parts that can be swallowed, from rawhides to toys with squeakers, and anything that can shred or splinter. are suited to serve as distractions while you're away. Especially dangerous are those with parts that can be swallowed, from rawhides to toys with squeakers, and anything that can shred or splinter.

The safest picks as doggie distractions (all available in virtual and real pet emporia) include the following toys.

Nonedible chew toys These toys should be made from material durable enough to stand up to long periods of your dog's attempts to ingest them and be large enough that your dog can't swallow them whole. Popular brands include Dogzilla, Nylabone, Hurley, and Huck. Some have nontoxic flavorings and smells that make them appealing. Be sure to supervise your dog with these products before leaving her alone with them. Some dogs are super-chewers, capable of decimating most products placed in front of them, and you need to know that in advance.

Interactive treat toys These take the will-work-for-food drive down to its most basic level. The best known-and still tops in its category-are those made by Kong, hard rubber cones that can be stuffed with anything from peanut b.u.t.ter to soaked kibble; many people put half of their dog's morning meal in them. Geared toward dog size, age, and chewing strength, Kongs and Kongstyle toys require some coordination-your dog has to hold on to them to get at the food-and lots of tongue agility, but not Einsteinian intellect.

More challenging are toys like the Buster Cube and other "busy-boxes," designed so that the treats inside come out of the openings when your dog pokes, paws, and noses them at the right angle. You can adjust their difficulty level when your dog progresses (or regresses). That's true, too, of the Busy Buddy line made by Premier,77 which includes the Twist 'n' Treat, a s.p.a.ceship-style toy that Frankie likes (and has offered to endorse, if the price is right). which includes the Twist 'n' Treat, a s.p.a.ceship-style toy that Frankie likes (and has offered to endorse, if the price is right).

76. AUDIOVISUALS AND TOYS DON'T KEEP MY DOG HAPPY. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO FOR HIM WHILE I'M AWAY?

When in-home entertainment isn't entertaining enough for your restless pup, it's time to consider outsourcing his diversion. Dog walkers and doggie daycare are the top options, but play dates and other informal exchanges through networks of local dog owners are getting increasingly popular, too.

Keep in mind that you need to screen potential candidates for dog care as thoroughly as you would candidates for child or elder care-perhaps more thoroughly, because licenses aren't required for canine caregivers in most states and there's little official oversight. Any professional you're thinking of leaving your pup with must love dogs, yes, but they must also know how to handle them-and how to conduct a business. Among other things, that means being bonded and insured and providing you with a service contract.

Nor is every dog a good candidate for dog walking or daycare-and I'm not just talking about bullies who don't play well with others. Frankie, for example, refuses to walk anywhere with strangers (a better attribute in a child than it is in a dog). Hanging out with unknown dogs away from home? Not my shy guy.

If you think your dog could benefit, start your search by asking people you regularly see with well-behaved charges at the dog park, dog path, or around the neighborhood. Check with your vet, groomer, pet supply stores, and local shelters. Websites such as Pet Sitters International (www.petsit.com) are good resources, too. And then do your own screening, based on the criteria outlined in the following sections.

DOG WALKER.

Dog walkers-who will often have an a.s.sociated pet sitting business-typically come to your house once a day and take your dog out for 15 minutes to an hour. Usually it's for a group stroll, but some-with your permission-take dogs to a park (see question 78). They operate differently in compact cities than they do in more spread-out towns or suburbs. Dog walkers in Manhattan, for example, stroll from building to building to pick up and drop off dogs. Here in Tucson they have to drive to collect their walkees, so the number of dogs is limited by the size of the vehicle-and the ability of the dog walker to keep them calm while in transit.

In Manhattan, prices for dog walking might range from $14 per dog for a quick 15-minute piddle to $28 for one hour of exercise; in Tucson, on average, it's $25 for 40 minutes for up to two dogs in the same family; shorter stints are rare.

Some things to think about when considering a dog walker: Affinity for the work Does this person seem to like dogs in general and yours in particular, or do you get the sense she's just looking to make a quick buck with clients who can't tattle if she goofs off? In turn, does your usually friendly dog cozy up to her-or slink off? Dogs are generally excellent judges of character.

Credentials American Red Cross Certification in pet first aid and CPR are definite pluses, as is membership in a professional pet sitter's organization. Having training credentials (see Chapter 6) is also an a.s.set.

References Although these are always important to check, it's particularly crucial for a person who will be entering your home. There's a certain irony to the fact that dog walkers are usually most popular in backyard-challenged urban areas, where trust is not at a premium. It's not unreasonable for you to ask where your dog walker lives to even the playing field. Or to mention that you know someone who's connected.

General philosophy and dog knowledge Ask what your potential walker would do if your dog misbehaves. If he advocates an alpha roll-or a Tootsie Roll-reconsider.

Logistic specifics Will your dog be staying on a leash the entire time? Will the route involve crossing lots of city streets or busy roads? How many other dogs will be coming along? What do you do with the rest of the group when you're picking a dog up at an apartment building?78 The responses should help you figure out if your dog's personality and the dog walker's plans are in synch with each other, and if you feel comfortable about your dog's safety. The responses should help you figure out if your dog's personality and the dog walker's plans are in synch with each other, and if you feel comfortable about your dog's safety.