A dog's nails should be trimmed about once a month to just short of reaching the floor.46 It's not a bad idea-theoretically, anyway-to combine tr.i.m.m.i.n.g with bathing because nails are softer after being submerged in water. Of course, your dog might not want to put up with two annoying procedures on a single day. It's not a bad idea-theoretically, anyway-to combine tr.i.m.m.i.n.g with bathing because nails are softer after being submerged in water. Of course, your dog might not want to put up with two annoying procedures on a single day.

Nail tr.i.m.m.i.n.g is neither easy nor risk-free, especially for dogs that have black, nontransparent nails. Clip off too much and you'll literally cut your dog to the quick-the pink, tissue part of the nail that contains nerve endings and blood vessels galore.

Clippers, which come in scissors- and guillotine-style varieties, were the most common way to trim nails until recently, when electric files came on the market. These strike me as less potentially dangerous-especially than the Marie Antoinette-model clippers-because you have to proceed slowly. On the other hand, your dog may not take kindly to being approached by a mini buzz saw.

I'm not going to go into detail about tr.i.m.m.i.n.g your dog's nails because I don't want you try this on your own the first time; ask your vet or someone experienced to show you. That said, if you're going to ignore my advice, have a styptic pencil or a Kwik-Stop powder on hand to staunch the blood flow in case you hit a vein.

But nails aren't the only paw parts to require your attention. Don't forget to check your pup's footpads. Dogs often get burrs, stones, or other foreign objects caught between their toes. Carefully remove everything that doesn't belong. Dry, cracked pads, which may be caused by walking on hot concrete, should be treated with a moisturizer (or prevented with shoes; see question 60) but not yours, because your dog will try to lick it off. Ask your vet or a pet supply store to recommend a safe one.

EARS.

Floppy eared dogs and dogs that don't shed are particularly p.r.o.ne to ear infections, the former because germs like to breed in the dark, moist areas created by those big flaps; the latter because hair growing in the ear ca.n.a.ls often mixes with wax and forms unwanted earplugs. Constant pawing at the ears47 may be a sign that your dog has a health problem (or that he wants you to turn down the stereo). By the time your dog's ears smell bad and ooze, they're already infected and require professional care. may be a sign that your dog has a health problem (or that he wants you to turn down the stereo). By the time your dog's ears smell bad and ooze, they're already infected and require professional care.

No matter what type of dog you have, peer into his ears at least once a week. Many preventative powders and cleaning solutions are available for breeds that are predisposed to ear problems; ask your vet for recommendations. Do not, I repeat not, not, stick Q-tips in your dog's ears. Think of the damage that people manage to inflict on themselves with these swabs, and then consider that your dog won't be able to tell you if you've reached down too far-or that he might suddenly turn his head, which could have the same effect. A punctured ear-drum is far worse than an ear infection. stick Q-tips in your dog's ears. Think of the damage that people manage to inflict on themselves with these swabs, and then consider that your dog won't be able to tell you if you've reached down too far-or that he might suddenly turn his head, which could have the same effect. A punctured ear-drum is far worse than an ear infection.

Removing hair from a dog's ears is not dissimilar to removing it from a human's ears;48 plucking and tr.i.m.m.i.n.g implements are required. As with nail-tr.i.m.m.i.n.g, this is a procedure best left to a groomer or attempted only after you have been instructed by a professional. plucking and tr.i.m.m.i.n.g implements are required. As with nail-tr.i.m.m.i.n.g, this is a procedure best left to a groomer or attempted only after you have been instructed by a professional.

a.s.sORTED CRUD-COLLECTING AREAS.

Most dogs get a little crust in the corner of their eyes, just like we do when we get up in the morning. They can't remove it with their paws like we can, however. I-and, if we're being honest, many of my dog-owning friends-just pick the stuff off with our (clean) fingers, but it would be wrong for me to suggest something less than hygienic, so use a moist cotton ball. This is also the treatment for the tearstains to which many small, light-colored dogs are p.r.o.ne. Reddened, swollen, or itchy eyes, on the other hand, might be caused by allergies, conjunctivitis, or parasites; if the whites of your dog's eyes aren't, be sure to get them checked.

And-sorry, but yuck-jowly, wrinkly pooches such as Chow Chows, Bulldogs, Ba.s.set Hounds, and Shar-Peis need to have their skin folds wiped out regularly to prevent dermat.i.tis or fungal infections. Use baby wipes or cotton swabs with hydrogen peroxide, then dust with unscented talc.u.m powder.

58. WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR-AND LOOK OUT FOR-IN A GROOMER?

Anyone with a water source and a pair of clippers can put out a dog-grooming shingle in many states, no license required. But these seemingly benign professionals-after all, groomers aren't practicing medicine, right?-can pose grave dangers to your dog.

Among the things that you should look out for: CAGE DRYING.

Similar to clothes dryers without the rotation, cage dryers are gla.s.s-fronted boxes into which your dog is enclosed and blasted with air; some units offer separate cages for more than one dog. They're good for groomers, who can increase the volume of their business by working on other dogs while yours is drying, but not so good for the dogs, who can't escape (and who can't sweat; they can only pant to try to cool themselves off). If the temperature is turned up too high and your dog is left in too long, she can dehydrate and die.

As a result of several canine fatalities, a few states are trying to outlaw cage dryers.

Some reputable groomers contend that they use only the unheated fan option, even going so far as to remove the heat coil. Others say they never set the temperature above 80 degrees and never leave the room. Maybe so, but why tempt fate? At the least, these enclosures are likely to frighten the bejeezus out of your dog.

UNAUTHORIZED TRANQUILIZING.

If a groomer is sufficiently gentle-and doesn't use scary equipment-your dog shouldn't need to be tranquilized. Some clients allow their dogs to be sedated, which is their prerogative (see later discussion), albeit one that should be used very sparingly. Some groomers, however, don't ask-and don't tell. That const.i.tutes practicing medicine without a license and without permission from the patient's guardian. If your dog is allergic to them, tranquilizers can be as dangerous as cage dryers.

OVERLONG STAYS.

Imagine waiting in a doctor's office all day with other equally stressed out patients, many of whom are yelling at each other and at the receptionist. Loud, frightening noises are coming from places that you can't see. And oh, yes, you can't stretch your legs or get up to go to the bathroom. Why would you want to subject your dog to that? A good groomer should stagger appointments so that your dog is worked on and available to be picked up as quickly as possible. Two hours, total, is ideal; up to half a day is reasonable. A full day-fuggedaboudit. Taking your dog to a groomer isn't, as some owners seem to regard it, a way to get free dog sitting.

If you're just getting your dog's nails clipped and/or a.n.a.l glands expressed, it's reasonable to ask if you can wait; it shouldn't take more than 10 minutes, total. I never leave Frankie at a groomer; he's a shy little guy and it would make us both unhappy.

So how do you find a good groomer, then?

GET A REFERENCE.

Ask your vet, neighbors, friends, and family members for recommendations.

TOUR THE FACILITIES.

Drop in unannounced and say you're looking for a new groomer and want to look around. If you're not allowed into the area where the grooming is done, leave.

Things to look for while you're checking the place out include: Cleanliness. Not only of the cages but also of the entire room. You don't want your dog rolling in other dogs' dirty, discarded hair.s.p.a.ciousness. Your dog should have plenty of room to move around in a cage, maybe read a few magazines, while waiting his turn to be groomed.Kindness. It seems like a no-brainer, but the staff should act as though they actually like dogs (yours in particular).Up-to-date equipment. Aside, of course, from cage dryers. Check also to see that the hand dryers don't use heat. The latest models, geared specifically toward pet grooming, work with cool air alone.

TALK TO THE STAFF.

Don't only chat with the owner, but also with the groomer who's likely to be working on your dog. Because a license may not be required, you can't ask a staff member to produce one, but you can ask her about the type and length of her experience and what inspired her to choose the profession ("I just got out of the slammer and this was the only job I could get without references" is not among the correct answers). You can also ask about her grooming philosophy; she doesn't have to quote Emmanuel Kant, only tell you how she feels about what works best for her canine charges.

In the end, trust your gut-and your dog. If you're feeling uneasy and your usually calm, outgoing pup starts shaking and whimpering, try somewhere else.

You, in turn, have a responsibility to be honest about your dog-both with a potential groomer and with yourself. Of course you have the best dog in the world, but face it, others might (irrationally, naturally) find him intimidating. When a groomer discusses possible scenarios with you-how your dog responds to his feet being touched, for example-tell the truth. Some dogs are generally polite but go ballistic when confronted by strangers with shiny instruments. A good groomer will tell you whether or not she is equipped to handle the type of behavior you describe-or ask you if it's okay to use tranquilizers. These should be a last recourse, and you should only use a type to which you know your pup is not sensitive. Still, if your dog is in danger of being condemned as a public health hazard, sedation might be in everyone's best interest.

Alternatively, and even if you have a perfectly well-behaved pup, you may want to have a groomer come to you; this is an especially good option for fearful and elderly dogs (and owners). Among other benefits, it eliminates waiting, cage drying, and un.o.bserved meanness. Mobile grooming vans are common in many cities, but they generally require a water hookup, which means they can't service urban high-rises or even many suburban apartment complexes. If you don't mind a temporary mess, most groomers who are willing to make house calls would also be willing to use your bathroom as a works.p.a.ce, and even to clean up afterward.

59. SO SUE ME, I LIKE A FROU-FROU DOG. WILL NAIL POLISH AND THE OCCASIONAL COLOR RINSE HURT HIM?.

I don't think they'll inflict psychological damage, if that's what you're asking. Many dogs love the attention they get when they're well turned out. And they really can't tell whether you're laughing at them or laughing with them.

I wish I could be as certain about the health issues involved. According to some vets, fast-drying nail polish brands especially formulated for dogs are safe. Although dogs don't bite their nails, I would definitely avoid using human varnish, which contains (even more?) toxins.49 I haven't found any permanent hair dyes that are recommended for canine use. Plant dyes such as henna that wash out should be safe, though reddish-brown is not an especially sought-after hue. Food coloring is fine for special occasions, too. If at all practicable, however, I would suggest a hairpiece instead. Some especially designed for pups-see wigglesdogwigs. com, for example-not only come in bold colors, but allow your dog to change her hairdo with her mood.

60. WILL MY DOG HATE ME IF I DRESS HIM?.

Dogs aren't shy about letting you know if they hate you; they tend to let their teeth do the talking when they're really upset. Dogs who are less categorically opposed but still unwilling to be clothed might squirm vigorously or run away. So if your dog allowed you to dress him in the first place, expressing only mild irritation or even approbation, you can a.s.sume you're in the clear. Dogs don't hold grudges in any case.

Some purists think dogs should never be dressed, including humorist Fran Lebowitz. "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater ... suggest that he wear a tail," she wrote.

I think that's a bit harsh. Few dogs earn their keep these days. A little harmless couture modeling in exchange for room and board seems reasonable. Of course, it would also depend on the outfit and the occasion. If you're dressing him for Santa Barbara's annual Big Dog parade, say, your dog would be in good company, and probably enjoy the interaction with other natty canines. But itchy attire like frilly tou-tous wouldn't be appreciated under any circ.u.mstances, a fact to which your pooch will doubtless alert you.

Functional clothing is another matter entirely.

If you have a dog, such as a Chihuahua, who's bred in a warm climate, a light wrap for a night chill is always appropriate. And in parts of the Southwest where asphalt temperatures can rise higher than 110F during the day, booties aren't a fashion statement, but essential protection for sensitive footpads. Cold climate dogs also benefit from being shod. Not only do shoes keep pups from slipping on ice and from getting snow between their toes, but they serve as a buffer against the caustic products used to melt the white stuff. And sometimes clothing is dictated by work conditions. Police dogs in Dusseldorf, Germany, wear blue plastic shoes to protect their feet from the broken gla.s.s created by revelers in the city's many pubs and caught between beer-soaked cobblestones. Why blue? To color-coordinate with the police uniforms, of course.

CHAPTER 6.

BEHAVING AND BONDING.

61. I'M OKAY WITH MY DOG'S BEHAVIOR. WHY BOTHER WITH ANYTHING BEYOND HOUSETRAINING?

Let's see ...

TO KEEP YOUR DOG ALIVE.

You may think your dog would never run out into traffic-until she does, at which point it's too late to wish you'd trained her to respond immediately to a recall. And if your dog bites a stranger or two, no matter what the provocation, there's a strong possibility she'll have to be euthanized. Training may not reverse your dog's impulse to chomp down when frightened, but it can help you read the warning signs and to keep her out of potentially dangerous situations.

TO KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN.

Good training has nothing to do with blind obedience or turning your pooch into an automaton. Rather, its goal is to let your dog know what you expect from her so she can behave accordingly and vice versa. The better you understand each others' signals, the less frustrated with each other you'll be, and the deeper, and the more deeply rewarding, your relationship will be.

TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS.

Just because your dog's eating habits don't disturb you, others won't necessarily appreciate your pup jumping up on the table and grazing from their plates at dinner parties. (Of course, depending on your cooking skills, she may be appreciated under under the table, performing the cla.s.sic function of dispatching unsuccessful culinary efforts.) the table, performing the cla.s.sic function of dispatching unsuccessful culinary efforts.) TO KEEP YOURSELF AND YOUR DOG ON YOUR TOES.

I'll talk more about the importance of mental exercise in Chapter 7, but ongoing training is a great way for both you and your dog to stay alert and connected, and for the two of you to spend quality time together.

TO KEEP OTHERS IN AWE.

Most people, even those who like dogs, don't realize the reach of canine capabilities, so it's easy to impress them with pretty much anything beyond the basics of "sit" and "stay" and "down." Don't think of skill demonstrations as parlor tricks but, rather, as payback for the endless displays of toddler abilities you've had to endure. If your dog turns out to be more impressive than your friends' toddlers,50 all the better (as long as you refrain from gloating). all the better (as long as you refrain from gloating).

62. DO I HAVE TO SEND MY DOG TO A FARM OR MONASTERY TO GET HIM TO DO MY BIDDING?.

There was a time when trundling your dog off to a country-side kennel for a month or so to get him trained-a practice inspired, in part, by the Monks of New Skete and their tough love How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend (1978)-was very popular. Although no longer as trendy, entrusting your pup to a professional who returns him to you with better manners hasn't been eliminated from today's bag of training tricks. (1978)-was very popular. Although no longer as trendy, entrusting your pup to a professional who returns him to you with better manners hasn't been eliminated from today's bag of training tricks.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the rowdy canine stranger who's come to live with you, or your family is hopelessly confusing your dog by giving him mixed signals, remote training may be tempting. In theory, it's supposed to work like rehab, to get your dog to establish better habits away from bad influences and under professional guidance. But even aside from the considerable expense of most of these boarding programs, they have several limitations.

THEY MAY CREATE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.

You might imagine your dog will come back from the country a changed canine, a perfect pup who will intuit your every wish. So what if your noisy Manhattan apartment doesn't resemble the verdant fields where your dog learned to hustle when summoned? She'll figure it out. As with all overblown expectations, a failure to meet them can lead to disappointment and frustration, perhaps even greater than what you experienced before your dog was trained. Poor you, poorer pup.

THEY'RE USELESS WITHOUT FOLLOW-THROUGH Unless you and your family are trained to replicate the signals used to convey information to your dog, including the cues and body language you need to avoid, any benefits of the program will erode over time. If the regimen doesn't include extensive home follow up, it's not worth the investment.

THEY'RE WORSE THAN USELESS IF BADLY HANDLED DURING PRIME TRAINING TIME If you send a puppy away during the optimal window for socialization and training (between 8 and 12 weeks) and the process is bungled, you've blown a key education opportunity. Yes, your dog can learn-and unlearn later, but not as thoroughly or effectively as when he's at the most impressionable age. It's akin to the difference between absorbing a foreign language as a kid immersed in the culture and learning it from cla.s.ses and tapes as an adult.51 YOU HAVE LESS CONTROL THAN YOU DO WITH OTHER TRAINING PROGRAMS.

Because your dog is at a remote-if not undisclosed-location and you will likely be discouraged from visiting during the first week, minimum, you won't have a clue about what's going on. For all you know, your dog could be crated most of the day or forced to dance the tango in a traveling circus (and you won't get any of the proceeds). It's essential, even more so than with other programs, to check the credentials of the school and trainers and to scope out the premises, even if all come highly recommended.

THEY OFTEN RELY ON HARSH-AND DISCREDITED-TECHNIQUES Even the Monks of New Skete, who resurfaced on Animal Planet's Divine Dog Divine Dog show, no longer emphasize physical correction in their training methods. show, no longer emphasize physical correction in their training methods.

63. BUT DON'T I HAVE TO DOMINATE MY DOG TO MAKE HIM BEHAVE?

Ah, yes. If you don't discipline your dog harshly as soon as he does something you disapprove of-say, attempting to jump on your bed-he will eventually take over. Everything. Before you know it, he'll be turning your Barcalounger into a Barker-lounger, commandeering (or eating) the remote control, and forcing you to watch Meercat Manor, Mr. Ed, Meercat Manor, Mr. Ed, and other nonspeciesist shows. and other nonspeciesist shows.52 There's truth to the popular notion that you have to establish yourself as the "alpha" to earn canine respect; as with kids, dogs need structure. But being a leader doesn't require domination through physical force. Nor does positive training, the alternative route to being recognized as the household CEO, mean coddling.

Advocated by most mainstream dog trainers these days, guiding behavior through reward rather than punishment first came into the public eye in the 1950s, when it began being practiced on large marine animals. Unable to use bodily coercion to make whales and dolphins do their bidding, trainers employed food and the sounds a.s.sociated with providing it (whistles, and in some cases, clickers) instead.

This system proved-and remains-consistently effective. Anheuser-Busch doesn't have to worry about irate crowds at SeaWorld demanding their money back because Shamu and pals refuse to perform.

Why the delay in applying these methods to dog training, then? To distill a somewhat murky history, studies of captive wolf packs were interpreted to suggest that these positive techniques wouldn't carry over to hierarchical canids. The degree to which dogs and wolves have parted ways is still a hot topic, but most ethologists (animal behaviorists) now agree that our domesticated pups don't exhibit the behaviors on which harsh training methods were based.53 Theories aside, the more that professional dog trainers used the reward system, the more they discovered that it worked, that it worked long-term, and that it didn't pose dangers to owners-as punishment-based training often does. Performing the much-publicized alpha role, for example, is a good way to provoke a dog into biting your face off.

Positive training is not a simple, one-size-fits-all approach. Its specifics vary, depending on the individual pract.i.tioner-and on the individual dog. Frankie, for example, won't eat when he's in an unfamiliar situation such as a training cla.s.s-a reaction to stress he certainly didn't get from emulating me-but responds enthusiastically to praise and chest scratches. So rewards for good behavior don't have to involve food and/or an accompanying clicker sound.

Methods of discouraging undesired behaviors vary, too. They range from the redundant sounding "negative punishment"-which simply means withholding positive cues-to distracting your dog with a command when he's doing something off-topic. The bottom line: although it's based on sound scientific principles, effective positive training is also an art honed through a knowledge of dogs in general and yours in particular.

64. CAN TRAINING BE LEARNED ENTIRELY THROUGH BOOKS AND DVDS?.

Only if you plan never to take your dog out of the house and introduce her to new people and situations. If you've got a puppy, it's especially crucial that she work with a professional who can quickly a.s.sess her temperament-strengths as well as weaknesses-to help her get the most out of a training cla.s.s.

Your temperament needs to be a.s.sessed by a professional, too. Even the most ambitious autodidact54 won't succeed with books and tapes without getting somebody knowledgeable-and neutral-to evaluate the follow-through. You may think you're being consistent, but while your mouth is praising "Good dog," your body language may be bellowing "That's the last liver treat you'll see unless you shape up, bud." won't succeed with books and tapes without getting somebody knowledgeable-and neutral-to evaluate the follow-through. You may think you're being consistent, but while your mouth is praising "Good dog," your body language may be bellowing "That's the last liver treat you'll see unless you shape up, bud."

That said, getting a background in reward-based training techniques and watching them performed effectively will positively reinforce your decision to give your dog confidence and make him revel in your presence rather than playing on his insecurities and making him fear you. A prime place to get started is www.dogstardaily.com, which posts an array of excellent free demonstrations and downloads, including books and videos by the always entertaining Ian Dunbar, veterinarian, certified dog trainer, and site cocreator. The site's blogs, written by such top behavioral experts as Nicolas Dodman and Patricia McConnell, are very informative, and the recommended products section can lead you to other star talent in the field (including Suzanne Clothier, Jean Donald-son, and Karen Pryor, among my favorites).

65. HOW CAN I FIND A GOOD TRAINER?.

Dog trainers can hang out a shingle without any qualifications-and a lot of them do. Some ways to separate the mystery meat from the filet mignon include: SEE IF THEY'RE JOINERS Membership in the a.s.sociation of Pet Dog Trainers (APDT; www.apdt.com), devoted to continuing education and "dog friendly" techniques, is a good sign. A search by zip code will lead you to APDT members in your area who have been accredited by the Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainers (CCPDT; www.ccpdt.org)-which means they've performed at least 300 hours of training within the last five years and have undergone a lengthy standardized exam in everything from equipment to ethology.

Listed next, uncertified members of APDT who have established themselves as dog trainers may or may not be highly qualified-you just have to pay an entry fee to join the organization-but, at minimum, membership indicates an awareness that training is a profession, not a hobby, and suggests at least a cursory interest in networking and knowing the state of the training art.

CHECK WEBSITES.

The fact that a trainer has bothered to create one is a good start. Other things to look for include the following.

Currency I know, not everyone updates their websites regularly (guilty!) but if you're referred to an address that says "We're looking forward to getting this site up in early 2007" you've got to worry about the trainer's seriousness and organizational skills.

Att.i.tude One website of an APDT member I came across disses everything from "university veterinary behavioral programs" to "food-bribery trainers" and group cla.s.ses. I wouldn't want to put my dog in the hands of someone so insecure that he needs to disparage the methods of others instead of just explaining the virtues of his own approach. In my experience, such humans often exhibit fear-based aggression.

Unwarranted claims Be wary of anyone who guarantees results within a certain period of time-or guarantees results, full stop. All you can expect is that a trainer do her best, using tried and true methods, for your dog. These methods may not succeed as a result of factors completely unrelated to a trainer's skill-breed temperament or illness, to name just a couple.

CHECK OUT A CLa.s.s (WITHOUT YOUR DOG).

If you ask to observe a cla.s.s and the trainer refuses to let you, that's a red flag right away. But even when you're allowed to sit in, you might not have a context for what you're seeing. Laughter, excited squirming (on the part of the dogs), and tail wagging (ditto) are all good signs; raised tones, sharp commands, and long silences are not. Whatever your impressions, be sure to follow up at the end by asking cla.s.s members what they think. Few will be shy about sharing.

BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR GOALS.

Unless you know what you want, it's impossible to determine whether a particular trainer can give it to you. For puppies, it's pretty much everything-i.e., life preparation-but for older dogs you need to be a lot more specific than "I want her to behave." A good trainer should be able to help you focus if you don't have a sense of your options, and let you know if you're being unrealistic about an objective-say, getting your dog to put a roller in his mouth and paint your house.