26.

Do I have to tell you that this doesn't apply if your dog is choking or throwing up?

27.

Dogs do have bacteria in their gums/teeth that are not good for you, but they're only transmitted if you keep your mouth open when your dog kisses you or if you lick your own face right after your dog does.

28.

This gene also occurs in some human ethnic groups, where it's pa.s.sed along matrilineally.

29.

Because he was originally cued by the sound of the cork being pulled from the bottle, screw tops allowed Clare to sneak tipples-until Archie figured out that he should be on the alert for opening doors of the cabinet where the wine gla.s.ses are stored.

30.

Among these limitations is the fact that, to achieve "nutritional balance," AAFCO regulations stipulate that vitamin and mineral supplements must be added. Because these cannot be organically produced, USDA Organic certification and the AAFCO seal are mutually exclusive. Many vets-including mine-warn patients away from food that isn't AAFCO approved, but I'm no longer convinced of the value of its imprimatur. Put it this way: AAFCO is even less effective (in part because it has even fewer inspectors) and more tainted by agribusiness interests than the FDA is.

31.

Artificial sweeteners and especially Xylitol, used in sugar-free candy and gum, are worse than addictive-they're toxic. In general, transparency is as excellent a quality in a dog food manufacturer as it is in a government agency. If you can't get answers to any questions you might have about a product, either via e-mail or phone, it's likely wise not to feed that product to your dog.

32.

It also tends to produce more c.r.a.p, literally. The lower the quality of the food-especially the cheap, corn-based varieties-the less of it is absorbed by the dog and the larger and softer the stools. I admit this isn't terribly well doc.u.mented in scientific literature, but I suspect that's because of a dearth of p.o.o.p-size correlation studies. That hasn't deterred me and several alert friends from judging other dog owners' feeding practices by the size of their charge's t.u.r.ds.

33.

Unfortunately, this remains voluntary rather than mandatory, even when it comes to human food-so fat chance that dog food is going to be better regulated any time soon. In spite of efforts of consumer groups, as well as state agriculture and ranching a.s.sociations, legislation mandating country of origin labeling has been stalled time and again. Pet Food Politics: The Chihuahua in the Coal Mine, Pet Food Politics: The Chihuahua in the Coal Mine, by Marion Nestle, is a fascinating-and frightening-look at this aspect of food safety oversight or, rather, the lack thereof. by Marion Nestle, is a fascinating-and frightening-look at this aspect of food safety oversight or, rather, the lack thereof.

34.

Tops on most current lists of things to avoid are chocolate, raisins, grapes, avocados, onions and onion powder, garlic and garlic powder. Seeds and stems of most fruit are verboten, too, as are-surprise, surprise-alcoholic beverages and moldy, spoiled, and fatty foods.

35.

Caveat: This formula is not uniformly accepted. Some studies have shown that dogs have no carbohydrate requirements at all. It's like the debates over Atkins, South Beach, the food pyramid, polyunsaturates ...-ever-shifting and far beyond my level of expertise.

36.

It was at one of Voisard's cooking cla.s.ses-sadly, no longer offered-that I first learned about the evils of most packaged commercial foods. They're also detailed in her book.

37.

If you think "comestibles" sounds pretentious, consider that on the official BARF website, www.barfworld.com (barf world? really?), the acronym also stands for Biologically Appropriate Raw Food. Not very snappy. I haven't yet hammered out the details of my own oven-free diet but I figure a good name is half the battle. (barf world? really?), the acronym also stands for Biologically Appropriate Raw Food. Not very snappy. I haven't yet hammered out the details of my own oven-free diet but I figure a good name is half the battle.

38.

As many advocates of the diet reasonably argue, people prepare raw food for their families in their kitchens all the time and manage to avoid poisoning themselves and their loved ones. And salmonella is present in lots of processed foods, too, as anyone who wasn't in a coma during the peanut b.u.t.ter fiasco knows.

39.

The Whole Dog Journal recommends alternating between three or four high-quality foods, changing them off slowly every few months, to provide your dog with different protein sources and nutrients. They advise against including "novel" proteins such as kangaroo, however, as these should be reserved for food allergy control tests (and, besides, may make your Jack Russell Terrier jump even higher than he already does). recommends alternating between three or four high-quality foods, changing them off slowly every few months, to provide your dog with different protein sources and nutrients. They advise against including "novel" proteins such as kangaroo, however, as these should be reserved for food allergy control tests (and, besides, may make your Jack Russell Terrier jump even higher than he already does).

40.

Tooth-brushing also seemed to go against the dogs-are-evolved-wolves grain. But has anyone done a study on tooth decay in prehistoric wolves? They may have pa.s.sed a predisposition to periodontal disease down to their canine kin. According to one study, 80 percent of dogs, especially small ones, have some degree of gum disease by age three. We know that working dogs often break their teeth carrying hard objects-and that they can now get metal crowns.

41.

If your dog's potential health problems don't convince you, you cold-hearted creature, consider the damage to your house: it's impossible to get the dye from a colored rawhide chew off anything it touches.

42.

These don't actually resemble p.e.n.i.ses, but Frankie is a sensitive pup. I'm sure he would intuit their origin and be offended.

43.

Poodles have gotten a bad rap. Not only were these super-smart dogs once renowned as water-fowl retrievers, but their much maligned coifs were job related. The natural coats of standard "pudels"-German for "splashes in water"-are thick and water absorbent. To help the dogs move more swiftly through water, portions of fur were shaved, with the chest and vital organs left covered to protect them from the cold. The silly looking topknot allowed the owner to tie a strip of colored cloth to the head, the better to spot the speedy retriever from a distance.

44.

The debate about whether there's a difference between dog hair and fur rages on. It's usually agreed that hair grows constantly and doesn't have a seasonal shed, while fur is thick and has an undercoat. However, there are so many exceptions as to render these distinctions meaningless. Rather than get into follicular nit-picking, as it were, I'm stipulating that if it's short and thick, it's fur, if it's long and silky, it's hair. Think of the popular (at least with women) categories for human males: if it's on the head, it's hair; if it's on the back, it's fur.

45.

Some people spin dog hair and weave or knit it into clothing, which I find intensely creepy-not the least because, should I be complimented on them, I wouldn't want to admit that I was wearing a scarf or sweater made from my dog. If you disagree, Kendall Crolius's Knitting with Dog Hair: Better a Sweater From a Dog You Know and Love Than From a Sheep You'll Never Meet, Knitting with Dog Hair: Better a Sweater From a Dog You Know and Love Than From a Sheep You'll Never Meet, might be for you. might be for you.