"A conversationalist," I said. "Someone talks to you, don't they? Someone cares about you."
Grunt.
"How'd you get here?"
Grumble.
My voice was loud against the quiet of the Glen, harsh counterpoint to the flow of the waterfall.
Nut mail and talking to a dog. This is what it's come to, Delaware.
The dog gazed up at me with a look I was willing to classify as friendship.
You take what you can get.
He watched as I pulled the Seville out of the carport, and when I opened the passenger door, he jumped in as if he owned the vehicle. For the next hour and a half, he looked out the window as I drove around the canyon, watching for LOST DOG posters on trees and talking to neighbors I'd never met. No one belonged to him and no one recognized him, though the checkout girl at the Beverly Glen Market opined that he was "a little stud," and several other shoppers concurred.
While I was there, I bought a few groceries and a small bag of kibble. When I got home, the dog bounced up the stairs after me and watched as I unloaded the staples. I poured the kibble into a bowl and set it on the kitchen floor, along with another bowl of water. The dog ignored it, choosing instead to station himself in front of the refrigerator door.
I moistened the kibble but that had no effect. This time the stubby tail was wagging.
I pointed to the bowl.
The dog began nudging the fridge door and looking up at me. I opened the door and he tried to stick his head in. Restraining him by the collar, I scrounged and found some leftover meatloaf.
The dog jumped away from my grasp, leaping nearly to my waist.
"A gourmet, huh?"
I crumbled some meatloaf into the kibble and mixed it with my fingers. The dog was snarfing before my hand was free, coating my fingers with a slick layer of drool.
I watched him feast. When he finished, he cocked his head, stared at me for a moment, then walked toward the back of the kitchen, circling and sniffing the floor.
"What now? Sorbet to clean your palate?"
He circled some more, walked to the service porch door, and began butting and scratching at the lower panel.
"Ah," I said, bounding up. I unlatched the door and he zipped out. I watched him race down the stairs and find a soft, shaded spot near a juniper bush before lifting his leg.
He climbed back up, looking content and dignified.
"Thank you," I said.
He stared at me until I petted him, then trailed me into the dining room, settling next to my leg, frog face lifted expectantly. I scratched him under his chin and he promptly flipped onto his back, paws upright.
I scratched his belly and he let out a long, low, phlegmy moan. When I tried to stop, one paw pressed down on my hand and bade me continue.
Finally he turned back on his belly and fell asleep, snoring, jowls shaking like mudflaps.
"Someone's got to be looking for you."
I slid the morning paper across the table. Plenty of lost-dog ads in the classifieds, but none of the animals remotely matched the creature stretched out on the floor.
I got animal control's number from information and told the woman who answered it what I'd found.
"He sounds cute," she said.
"Any idea what he is?"
"Not offhand-could be some kind of bulldog, I guess. Maybe a mix."
"What should I do with him?"
"Well," she said, "the law says you have to try to return him. You could bring him in and leave him with us, but we're pretty crowded and I can't honestly tell you he'll get anything more than basic care."
"What if you have him and no one claims him?"
"Well ... you know."
"What're my alternatives?"
"You could put an ad in the paper-'founds' are sometimes free. You might also want to take him to a vet-make sure he's not carrying anything that could cause you problems."
I thanked her, called the newspaper, and placed the ad. Then I pulled out the Yellow Pages and looked under veterinarians. There was an animal hospital on Sepulveda near Olympic that advertised "walk-ins and emergencies."
I let the the dog sleep for an hour, then took him for another ride.
The clinic was a milky blue, cement-block building set between a wrought iron foundry and a discount clothing barn. The traffic on Sepulveda looked angry, so I carried my guest to the front door, upping the weight estimate to thirty pounds.
The waiting room was empty except for an old man wearing a golf cap, comforting a giant white German shepherd. The dog was prone on the black linoleum floor, weeping and trembling from fright. The man kept saying, "It's okay, Rexie."
I tapped on a frosted glass window and registered, using my name because I didn't know the dog's. Rex was summoned five minutes later, then a college-age girl opened the door and called out, "Alex?"
The bulldog was stretched on the floor, sleeping and snoring. I picked him up and carried him in. He opened one eye but stayed limp.
"What's the matter with Alex, today?" said the girl.
"Long story," I said and followed her to a small exam room outfitted with lots of surgical steel. The disinfectant smell reminded me of traumas gone by, but the dog stayed calm.
The vet arrived soon after-a young, crewcut, Asian man in a blue smock, smiling and drying his hands with a paper towel.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Uno-ah, a Frenchie, don't see too many of those."
"A what?"
He one-handed the towel into a waste bin. "A French bulldog."
"Oh."
He looked at me. "You don't know what he is?"
"I found him."
"Oh," he said. "Well, that's a pretty rare dog you've got there-someone'll claim him." He petted the dog. "These little guys are pretty expensive, and this one looks like a good specimen." He lifted his flews. "Well cared for, too-these teeth have been scaled pretty recently and his ears are clean-these upright ears can be receptacles for all kinds of stuff ... anyway, what seems to be your problem with him?"
"Apart from a fear of water, nothing," I said. "I just wanted him checked out."
"Fear of water? How so?"
I recounted the dog's avoidance of the pond.
"Interesting," said the vet. "Probably means he's been perimeter trained for his own safety. Bulldog pups can drown pretty easily-real heavy boned, so they sink like rocks. On top of that, they have no nose to speak of, so they have trouble getting their head clear. Another patient of mine lost a couple of English bull babies that way. So this guy's actually being smart by shying away."
"He's housebroken and he heels, too," I said.
The vet smiled and I realized something very close to owner's pride had crept into my voice.
"Why don't you put him up here on the table and let's see what else he can do."
The dog was probed, vaccinated, and given a clean bill of health.
"Someone definitely took good care of him," said Uno. "The basic thing to watch out for is heatstroke, specially now, when the temperature is rising. These brachycephalic dogs are really prone to it, so keep him out of the heat."
He handed me some brochures on basic dog care, reiterated the heat danger, and said, "That's about it. Good luck finding the owner."
"Any suggestions along those lines?"
"Put an ad in the paper, or if there's a local Frenchie club, you could try getting in touch with them."
"Do you have a list of club addresses?"
"Nope, sorry, we do mostly ER work. Maybe the AKC-American Kennel Club-could help. They register most of the purebreds."
"Where are they?"
"New York."
He walked me to the door.
"These dogs generally have good temperament?" I said.
He looked down at the dog, who was staring up at us and wagging his stub.
"From the little I've heard and read, what you're seeing right now is pretty much it."
"They ever attack?"
"Attack?" He laughed. "I guess if he got attached to you he might try to protect you, but I wouldn't count on it. They're really not good for much but being a friend."
"Well, that's something," I said.
"Sure it is," he said. "That's where it's at, bottom line, right?"
CHAPTER.
3.
I drove away from the clinic stroking the dog and thinking of the child's voice on the tape. I wasn't hungry but figured I'd need some lunch eventually. Spotting a hamburger stand farther up on Sepulveda, I bought a takeout half-pounder. The aroma kept the dog awake and drooling all the way home, and a couple of times he tried to stick his nose in the bag. Back in the kitchen, he convinced me to part with a third of the patty. Then he carried his booty to a corner, sat, masticated noisily, and promptly went to sleep, chin to the floor.
I phoned my service and found out Milo had called back. This time he answered at Robbery-Homicide. "Sturgis."
"How's it going, Joe Friday?"
"The usual buckets of blood. How's by you?"
I told him about receiving the tape. "Probably just a prank, but imagine getting a kid to do that."
I expected him to slough it off, but he said, " 'Bad love'? That's weird."
"What is?"
"Those exact same words popped up in a case a couple of months ago. Remember that social worker who got murdered at the mental health center? Rebecca Basille?"
"It was all over the news," I said, remembering headlines and sound bites, the smiling picture of a pretty, dark-haired young woman butchered in a soundproof therapy room. "You never said it was your case."
"It wasn't really anyone's case because there was no investigation to speak of. The psycho who stabbed her died trying to take another caseworker hostage."
"I remember."
"I got stuck filling out the paperwork."
"How did 'bad love' pop up?"
"The psycho screamed it when he ran out after cutting Becky. Clinic director was standing in the hall, heard him before she ducked into her office and hid. I figured it was schizo talk."
"It may be something psychological-jargon that he picked up somewhere in the mental health system. 'Cause I think I've heard it, too, but I can't remember where."