He shrugged. 'Asher isn't really good at the polyamory. He doesn't like to share unless he's the main focus.'

'And he wasn't the main focus with anyone but me,' Dev said, 'and then I had to try to add a woman who wasn't Anita, and Asher couldn't deal with it.'

'You wish you hadn't done it,' I said.

'Sometimes, but if I hadn't asked for what I thought I wanted, then I wouldn't have realized that I could miss someone like this. I wouldn't have known what Asher meant to me.'

'I don't think any of you would have realized how much he meant if you hadn't had a chance to miss him,' Nicky said.

'I'll talk to Jean-Claude when we get back,' I said.

'Thank you,' Dev said, and then he looked even sadder. 'If he's found someone to replace me and Jean-Claude, then I'm not sure I want him back in town. I don't think I could stand to see him with another man and know that I'd lost him.'

I didn't know what to say to that, so I did the only thing I could think of: I hugged him. He wrapped me in his arms, but there was no heat to it, only comfort. We sort of clung to each other in the debris of Asher's tantrums.

'This is very touching, but it's not going to lead to a quick feeding for the ardeur,' Nicky said.

We both turned and looked at him. My look wasn't friendly, and I expected Dev to be in the same frame of mind, but he said, 'Nicky's right. Sad is not an aphrodisiac.'

I pulled back enough to gaze up at Dev. 'What do you want to do?'

'Are you really turning down a chance to feed the ardeur?' Nicky asked.

'Just this one time. Would it be totally weird to say I have to call Asher and find out if he's just punishing me with the talk of another guy, or if he's serious that he doesn't want me in his life anymore?' Dev said.

'You want to know the answer before I talk to Jean-Claude about maybe bringing Asher back to town,' I said.

'Yes.'

'Are you giving up Anita along with all the other women?' Nicky asked.

He thought about it and then shook his head. 'I'm her golden tiger to call, and I need to be free to be that in every way she needs. Because of the kind of vampire she is, that includes sex.'

'So, she's the one exception,' Nicky said.

Dev nodded.

'Wasn't one of the reasons you went to other women was that Anita had so many men in her bed that you weren't getting enough pussy?'

I frowned at Nicky.

'Sorry, I forgot you don't like that word, but it's still a good question. It's what started the fight that got Asher exiled in the first place.'

'He's right, Anita, it is a good question.' Dev sighed.

'Okay,' I said, 'do you have a good answer?'

He grinned and then looked sad, like clouds passing over the sun on a summer's day. 'Not until I talk to Asher.'

'You really think talking to him will give you a good answer?' Nicky asked.

Dev smiled, but it was sad around the edges, and in his eyes. 'I'll have an answer; not sure if it will be good or bad.'

Nicky shook his head. 'I'd never have fallen in love with anyone if Anita hadn't mind-fucked me, because I think this is just stupid.'

'Love is stupid?' Dev asked.

'It makes you weak,' Nicky said.

Dev nodded. 'It can.'

I realized that Nicky had said, in a very backward way, that he was 'in love' with me, but since he hadn't made a big deal out of it, neither did I. I'd think about it and decide if we needed to talk about it later. I was voting no.

'Do you think he's learned his lesson?' I asked.

'Asher, you mean?' he asked.

'Yes,' I said.

'No,' he said.

'Me either,' I said. 'He'll be better for a while.'

'And yet we both want him back,' Dev said.

'Apparently we all do.'

'It makes no sense,' he said.

'No, it doesn't, but if it were logical, would it still be love?'

He seemed to think about that for a minute and then shook his head. 'No, I guess it wouldn't.' He smiled down at me. 'But I still think it's too dangerous for Nicky to feed you right now. We don't want another accident where you make his heart stop.'

I looked at Nicky. He looked back. His face was serious, almost unreadable, and I realized it had been even when he was talking about being in love. I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He put his arms around me automatically. We were left staring at each other, me up, and him down.

'I won't risk Nicky like that again.'

A slow smile spread across his face, and he hugged me closer, pressing our bodies against each other. 'Good to know,' he said, voice low and soft.

'But Anita still needs to feed the ardeur,' Dev said.

'Who do you want to feed on?' Nicky asked.

'Who's available? Someone told me that we had fresh guards in town, didn't say who.'

'I'll go see who's in Nathaniel's room,' Dev said.

'Where is he?' I asked.