'Don't apologize to him because you aren't a sinner,' Jamie said.

'I don't think that's what he was apologizing for, Uncle Jamie,' Micah said.

'Leave the boy alone, Jamie,' Aunt Bobbie said. She sounded disgusted with the situation and she'd just gotten here.

'If you hadn't interfered in the first place, Bobbie, there wouldn't be any Coalition, and hundreds of people would have been saved from becoming monsters for them.'

'I checked into your allegations, Bertie, and it's paranoid nonsense,' Bobbie said.

Micah said, 'We do not encourage people to become lycanthropes. We help families deal with members who are already shapeshifters. We counsel people after attacks, but we do not encourage anyone to become wereanimals. We aren't like the Church of Eternal Life; we don't recruit.'

'You and the vampires want everyone to be like you,' Aunt Bertie said.

'That's unsubstantiated rumor,' Aunt Bobbie said.

'I don't know where the rumors started,' Micah said, 'but I can tell you that they are lies. We help people deal with the trauma of attacks the way I wish someone had helped me.'

'I've heard the rumors, but I didn't think anyone was taking them that seriously,' I said.

'A certain branch of religious conservatives have jumped on the bandwagon pretty strongly,' Micah said. He looked at his aunt and uncle.

'The rest of them here will believe your lies, but we know that you've deceived hundreds, maybe thousands of innocent humans.' Bertie turned on Bobbie and pointed an accusing finger at her. 'Innocent lives that could have been saved from evil if you hadn't gone against us.'

'You had no grounds to try to imprison Mike, and a judge agreed with me,' Bobbie said.

'What are they talking about?' Nathaniel asked.

'Jamie and Bertie wanted me to turn myself in to a government safe house when my tests came back positive for lycanthropy. Their church believed that all shapeshifters should be isolated like lepers. When I wouldn't do it voluntarily, they tried to get me declared legally incompetent and be made my guardians, because the rest of the family was too emotionally overwrought to take care of me.'

'The government safe houses are prisons,' Nathaniel said.

I said, 'Once you sign yourself in you can't get out, no matter what they tell you to get you there.'

'I know, and I had Aunt Bobbie to back me up in court.'

'Thank you,' I said to her.

She waved it away. 'They didn't have any right to do it, or legal ground to stand on, but they had a judge who was a church member. Once I got him recused, we were fine.'

'If the monster that attacked you had been in a safe house, Steve and Richie would still be alive and you'd still be human instead of an animal,' Bertie said.

'Aunt Bertie!' Juliet nearly yelled it.

'That's enough!' Bea said; her face was flushed, eyes paling to gray. I was betting that was her angry color of eyes, just a hunch.

'Just tell me these two are the craziest members of your family,' I said.

'Last time I visited, yes.'

'Good,' I said.

Uncle Jamie turned on me like he'd been saving up. 'We know who you are, Anita Blake. You raise the dead from the grave, something only God is allowed to do.'

'I don't do resurrection, just zombies.'

'Of course you can't do what God can do,' Bertie said. 'The devil is only a poor imitation of God.'

I raised an eyebrow at her. 'Excuse me?'

Aunt Jody stepped up. 'You are an evil, narrow-minded person.'

'You are an abomination before the Lord,' Bertie said, in a voice full of such rage it was almost frightening. She'd been yelling at Micah and me, but she was furious with Jody.

'You didn't think that in high school,' Jody said; her voice was bland, empty, but it fell into the conversation like it was anything but.

'We were friends once, before you became perverted,' Bertie said.

'You liked my perversion just fine in high school and then we scared each other. I married the first man who would have me, and you started sleeping with any man who would have you.'

'Mama,' Essie said, and she looked like this was news to her.

'I'm happy now,' Jody said. 'Can you say the same, Bertha?'

'Don't call me that! Don't ever call me that!'

'It's your name,' Jody said.

I felt like I was missing a whole lot. Bertie launched herself at Jody. Al got in the way, keeping the two women apart. Nicky kept Uncle Jamie from joining the fight just by standing in his way and being big. The other man didn't even try to get past him. Dev moved between us and Aunt Bertie, moving us physically back from the almost-fight. None of us told them to stop; I think they were more afraid of what we might do if the fight spread than the other way around.

Jamie yelled around Nicky, 'You are the devil's blood whore!'

'Can I hit him, just once?' Nicky called out.

'No!' I said, and made sure my voice carried.

'Is he calling Micah the devil, or Jean-Claude?' Nathaniel asked.

Dev moved Micah, Nathaniel, and me farther back from the fight. Micah's mom and stepdad, Aunt Jody, Aunt Bobbie, Aunt Bertie, and Uncle Jamie were all screaming at one another. Juliet, Essie, and the rest of us watched like innocent bystanders at a train wreck. It's sort of awful, but you can't look away.

I put my mouth close to Micah's ear and said, 'Can't wait to hear what your family Christmases were like.'

'I've never seen them this bad,' he said.

Juliet and Essie came to stand near us. Essie gave quick covert glances at Dev and Nathaniel, and even Micah. I was suspecting a childhood crush that still had some life in it.

Juliet spoke above the shouting, 'Do you remember Ginger Dawson?'

'I remember the Dawson farm; it was next door to ours.'