I beat the _French_ in half an Hour, Get all their Cities in my Power.

Sometimes I'm pleas'd to be a King, That has success in every thing, And just when all the World's my own, Comes one to dun me for a Crown; And presently I am the poor, And idle Dunce I was before.

_The c.o.c.k, the Cat, and the young Mouse._

A Mouse of no Experience Was almost nabb'd for want of Sence.

Hear how the silly young one told Her strange Adventure to the old.

I cross'd the Limits of our State, And ran as swift as any Rat; When suddenly I spy'd two Creatures Of very different Form and Features.

The one look'd smiling, milde, and Civil, The other was a very Devil; He look'd so fierce, made such a rout, Then tore the Ground, then turn'd about; He ne'er stood still, upon his Head He wore a piece of Flesh that's red; A bunch of Tails with green and black Stood staring higher than his back.

And thus describes the simple Mouse A c.o.c.k he had seen behind the House, As had it been some Beast of Prey Brought over from _America_.

With insolence, says he, he strides, And beats with his broad Arms his sides; Then lifts his shrill and frightful Voice, And made so terrible a Noise, That tho' I can a.s.sure you, Mother, I've as much Courage as another, I trembled, and as I am here, Was forc'd to fly away for fear.

I curs'd the Bully in my thought; For 'twas that strutting Ruffi'n's Fault; Or else that other Beast and I Had been acquainted presently.

He sat so quiet with such Grace, So much good Nature in his Face, He's furr'd like we, and on his Back So purely streak'd with gray and black; He has a long Tail, shining Eye, Yet is all over Modesty.

I believe he is a near Relation To our Allies the Rattish Nation: His Ears and Whiskers are the same With ours, I would have ask'd his Name, When with his harsh and horrid sound The other made me quit my Ground.

Replies the Mother, well 'scap'd Son, You have been very near undone; That formal Piece of Modesty, That Mirror of Hypocrisy, Was a d.a.m.n'd Cat of wicked Fame; My Heart akes at the very Name, The everlasting Foe to Mouse, Death and Destruction to our House.

Whereas that other Animal Ne'er did us hurt, nor never will; But may, when he is dead and gone, Serve us one Day to dine upon.

Then prithee son, whate'er you do, Take special Care of him, whom you For such an humble Creature took, And judge not People by their Look.

_The c.o.c.k and Pearl._

A c.o.c.k, not very nicely fed, A Dunghill raker by his Trade, Whilst sc.r.a.ping in the dirt, had found A Pearl worth Five and Twenty Pound: He goes hard by t' a Jeweller, And like a silly Dog, says Sir, In yonder Rubbish lay a bit Of something that in't good to eat, If you think it will serve your turn, I'll change it for a grain of Corn.

Nay sometimes Men will do as bad, I've known a foolish Heir, that had A Ma.n.u.script of Wit and Labour, Say to a Bookseller his Neighbour, I've got some Sheets my Uncle writ, They say he was a Man of Wit, But Books are things I don't much matter, A Crown would do my Business better.

_The Lyon's Court._

It happen'd that some Years ago, The Lyon had a Mind to know, What beastly Nations up and down Belong'd to his Imperial Crown: And therefore in his Princely care Sends word by Letters every where, That he would keep an open Court, Grace it with every Royal Sport; And so invites 'em to his Palace, A Cave that stunk worse than the Gallows.

The Bear snorts at it, snuffles, blows, Draws hundred Wrinkles in his Nose.

What need the Fool to have made such Faces?

The Lyon frown'd at his Grimaces, And for the Niceness of his Smell My Gentleman is sent to h.e.l.l.

The Monky fam'd for flattery Extalls this Action to the Sky, Then prais'd the King's majestick Face, The stately building of the Place, The Smell, whose Fragrancy so far Exceeds all other Scents that are, That there's no Amber, said the Sot, But what's a house of Office to't.

This gross insipid stuff the Prince } Dislikes and calls it Impudence, } To speak so contrary to Sence. } And as the one was thought too free, So th' other dy'd for Flattery.

This Lyon had the reputation To be _Caligula's_ Relation.

The Fox being near; the peevish King Ask'd his Opinion of the thing.

Tell me what smell it is, be bold, Sir, says the Fox, I've got a Cold.

If you would have your Answers please Great Men make use of such as these.

Bluntness and bare-faced Flattery Can never with the Court agree.

_The Drunkard and his Wife._

Man is so obstinate a Creature No Remedy can change his Nature.

Fear, Shame, all ineffectual prove To cure us from the Vice we love.

A Drunkard, that had spent his Wealth, And by the Wine impar'd his Health, One Night was very Drunk brought home; His Wife conveys him to a Tomb; Undresses him from Head to Feet, And wraps him in a Winding-sheet: He wakes, and finds he's not a Bed, All over dress'd like one that's dead: Besides, she counterfeits her Voice, With Torch in hand, and grunting Noise, Looks frightful in a strange Array, To pa.s.s for Dame _Ctesiphone_.

And every thing is done so well, He thinks he's fairly gone to h.e.l.l; And satisfy'd it was his Merit, He says to his dissembling Spirit, Who are you in the Name of Evil?

She answers hoa.r.s.ely I'm a Devil, That carries Victuals to the d.a.m.n'd, By me they are with Brimstone cramm'd.

What, says the Husband, do you think Never to bring them any Drink?

_The Carp._

A Handsome Carp genteely bred, In fresh and running Water fed, Puff'd up with Pride and Vanity, Forsook the _Thames_ and went to Sea; Thro' Shrimps and Prawns he cuts his way, Sees Cods and Haddocks frisk and play; He ask'd some questions, but in vain, All spoke the Language of the Main; He frets he can't be understood, When, at the latter end of Flood, Two Herrings vers'd in Languages Were talking about Business; Carp heard 'em, as he swum along, Discoursing in his River Tongue, And made a stop, they did the same, One of the Herrings ask'd his Name, And whence he came; the Traveller Reply'd, I am a Stranger, Sir, Come for my Pleasure to these Parts To learn your Manners and your Arts: Then Herring asks what News of late?

Which are your Ministers of State?

Indeed, said Carp, he could not tell, Nor did much care, quoth Herring well What Laws, what Form of Government?

Are Taxes rais'd, without consent Of Parliament? what Courts of? Pish, Says th' other, I'm a gentle Fish, And we know nothing of those Matters; Quoth Herring, I'm no Fish that flatters, I find you've neither seen nor read, And wonder you should break your Head, With what's in other Countries done, That knows so little of your own.

At this the haughty Fool takes snuff, Turns from 'em in a mighty huff; And whilst he slides and flourishes He meets a Country Fish of his, One us'd to Sea, a subtle Spark, A Pike that serv'd his time t' a Shark; Who leads him into Company Of Riot and Debauchery; The scandalous Gang in little time Infect him with the Salt, and Slime: They robb'd his Row, till scurvily At last he's forc'd to leave the Sea.

His Scales begin to drop by scores, And all his Body's full of Sores.

Half of his Tail, and Snout are gone, And he, lean, shabby and undone, Sneaks home as vain and ignorant, As e'er he was before he went.

The Moral.

_Some Fops that visit_ France _and_ Rome, _Before they know what's done at home, Look like our Carp when come again.

Strange Countries may improve a Man, That knew the World before he went; But he, that sets out ignorant, Whom only Vanity intices, Brings Nothing from 'em, but their Vices._

_The Nightingale and Owl._

The Bird of _Jove_, who was all Day, As much intent upon his Prey, As any Prince in Christendom, Was not well pleased, that coming home, He always found his Folks a Bed, (Sure Courtiers should be better bred.) For, as Crown'd Heads have much to think, Some Nights he could not sleep a wink; And thought it hard to have ne'er a Bird In all his Court could speak a Word, Or snuff a Candle, hundred things, That are of use to waking Kings.

Some Birds strove hard, did what they could; Yet when 't grew dark, slept as they stood.

Others pretended that they watch'd, And swore and ly'd till they were catch'd.

The King would not be put upon: Asks all his Court what's to be done?

One talks no wiser than a Horse, Another makes it ten times worse, The Ostrich said, It's plain to me, We sleep because we cannot see; Ask _Jupiter_, he can't deny't, To let it when 'tis dark be light---- At that all stopt his Speech a laughing, Except the King, who fell a coughing.

Says one more learned than the rest, I'm for a Crane with stone in Fist; If he should sleep it must be known, For presently he'll drop the stone.

But as the Watchmen were to be In the upper Garret of the Tree, The King for weighty Reasons said, He'd have no Stones held o'er his Head, Then cries the Swan, and he was right, If one pretends to watch all Night.

He cannot do a better thing, To make us believe it than to sing.

His Majesty approves of it, And Letters presently are writ; By which the Airy Prince invites All Birds to Court, that sung a Nights; But most of 'em look on the same As things of no concern to them.

Yet some that had Ambition Would very willingly have gone, But since they could not watch in short, And might perhaps be punish'd for't, At best they could propose no Gains.

But t' have their Labour for their Pains.

Only the Nightingale, whose Art Man knows, had fill'd his little Heart With so much Joy, he's more than glad, And almost ready to run mad; Calls on all Birds and shakes his Wings, Tells them how every Night he sings; (A thing, which they knew nothing of, For by that time they're fast enough.) Says he it hits so luckily, As if it was contriv'd for me, What cause to doubt of being chose, When there's not one that can oppose.