He embraces me tenderly, kissing my cheeks over and over, as I do his. Then from inside his coat, he suddenly produces a little dog.

"What's this?" I ask, laughing as the dog begins to bark at me.

"Mops!" he exclaims. "Have you forgotten beloved Mops? Hush," he whispers, "they'll never know I've brought you the little Austrian fellow."

Alas, Mops does not recognize me, nor I him. There have been so many puppies between him and me and our childhood time together. But I lift him up in both hands, high over my head, and say, "His voice has changed from soprano to baritone." I place him on the floor, and one of my ladies, without needing direction, promptly produces a leash to lead him away. "But you, my chevalier, are exactly the same, only grown more dear."

"My little princess of the keyboard," he says fondly.

"Now let me sit down again, while Monsieur Leonard transforms me into something so otherworldly you will think we live on the distant moon."

"Monsieur, your talent is apparent," Gluck proclaims. He has dispensed with Leonard as adroitly as I dispensed with Mops. Now Gluck will focus all his attention on me, as though Leonard and his busy arms were no more than a hairdressing machine, a sort of spindle winding and stretching hair.

Gluck stretches himself luxuriously. "Ah, to breathe French air," he says. "The freedom of it!"

"I have never felt particularly free here," I remark in a low voice, even though I know that all my secrets are safe with my hairdresser. The Others have discreetly retreated to the corners of the room, or hover just outside, should I call them.

"My dear Antoine-"

"Toinette," I correct him.

"My dear Toinette, the Empress has whipped the Chast.i.ty Commission into a perfect frenzy. There is no privacy; she has a secret army, well paid, of emissaries and spies. Her knowledge of private matters has inspired terror in the court." Gluck's eyes glitter with delight. "Isn't that preposterous?"

"How do you account for my mother's strictness?"

Leonard gives a too-hard tug to my hair and meets my eyes in the mirror, as though to warn me not to betray too boldly my relish for all things that speak of home.

"Upbringing! Her mother, the mother of our Empress! Elisabeth Christina, your mother's mother's grief at not having a child until nine years after her marriage has thrown this long shadow known as the Chast.i.ty Commission."

(I shudder to think what would happen to me should my maternity be so delayed.) "And then the mishandling and death of the infant Leopold and your grandmother's obsessive fear that something might occur at her court to displease the Deity. What did the French amba.s.sador write of his stay in Vienna, during those days of your mother's growing up?"

"Pray tell me."

"The French amba.s.sador said, 'I have led such an amazingly pious existence in Vienna that I have not had so much as a quarter of an hour of liberty.' He swore, 'I would never have come here if I had known what would be required of a foreign amba.s.sador in piety and abstinence.'"

"But surely my mother has not been as severe as her mother?"

"Au contraire, I have heard Casanova grumble. Oh, there is plenty of money and plenty of luxury to be enjoyed at the court of Vienna. But the bigotry! The Empress has made any pleasure of the flesh extremely difficult."

I do not wish to seem to criticize my mother, not even to Gluck, but I cannot stop myself from saying, "Yet she demands that I wink at the behavior of...of..."

Here Leonard suddenly snaps open a little fan, which he places against my hair, as though testing its decorative appeal, but the fan is painted with ears, displaying numerous real earrings; as a discreet signal between us, the fan is to be deployed when my loyal hairdresser feels I should remember that Others are always listening. Just in time, I do not say "She demands that I wink at the behavior...of the King."

"...of the du Barry," I say. Certainly I may speak ill of that woman in my own boudoir.

"Recently," Gluck continues, "the Empress wrote the Archd.u.c.h.ess Maria Carolina that she has learned-from her spies-that her daughter the Queen of Naples says her prayers carelessly. Our Charlotte lacks proper veneration, proper attention to the meanings of the words. She must pray with deeper feeling. Oh, the Empress knows everything. The Empress warns Charlotte in just so many words that her whole day will be bad, after a careless beginning in her prayers."

I cannot help but shudder. At least so far the manner of my private praying has not been criticized.

Leonard folds up the fan. Conversationally, we are on safe ground again. As our own private joke, Leonard hitches a bronze bell at the apex of my hair to say we are all under the rule of the church.

"No bell," I say, shaking my head. The whole stretch of hair wobbles precariously.

"Sit still, please, my charming Madame la Dauphine."

Leonard squats to lower his head so it is beside my own; now he can see how my coiffure is progressing from my own point of view. The squat causes him to pa.s.s gas. The Chevalier Gluck laughs. The three of us laugh-comrades of like minds. With an impa.s.sive face, an attendant holds out a Meissen tray with two cups on it, one filled with chocolate, one with coffee, to the chevalier. The tea service is one of my favorites with a deep midnight blue band around the rims of the cups.

"Ah, coffee!" the chevalier exclaims. "And have you heard the 'Coffee Cantata' of J. S. Bach, dear Toinette?" When I reply that I have not, he continues to explain that when coffee first came to Europe, and the people in the German areas began to drink it for breakfast instead of beer, coffee was thought to be a morally corrupting substance-far too stimulating. "Bach's cantata told the story of a father so concerned about his daughter's new practice of drinking coffee that he promised she could marry the man of her choice, if she would only give up her dangerous coffee habit."

"And how does the story of the 'Coffee Cantata' end?"

"I believe the clever ingenue finds a way to have both coffee and the chosen husband. It's most amusing. You would love it, and I can rehea.r.s.e the whole of it here-after an opera of my own composing is produced."

Leonard grabs his own tankard of coffee and swigs it down. Then he rolls his eyes about in his head and gestures wildly around my face with his hands, aping the behavior of a man gone mad on coffee.

We talk and talk. From the old days together in Austria, we review the triumph of the performance of Il Parna.s.so Confusio, for which Gluck composed the music, and also of how my brother Ferdinand and I danced in Il Trionfo d'Amore as shepherd and shepherdess, with little Max dancing Cupid, for the wedding of my eldest brother.

"And how fares my brother Joseph?" I ask, wondering if as emperor ruling with our mother, he is as tied to work as she is.

"He worries about you," Gluck answers and then rushes on to praise the performances years ago of the four Archd.u.c.h.esses Elisabeth, Amelia, Josepha, and my Charlotte. I must a.s.sure his success here.

Finally, it is long past the completion of my toilette. I inform the chevalier, as I will the entire court, that the Chevalier Gluck is to be admitted to my presence "at all times." I have not had such pleasure, such depth of pleasure, for a long time. One by one, with the p.r.o.nouncing of their names, the images of my family and of our happy times together have risen before my eyes. My music master is much more than a diversion; he has given me a life-restoring whiff of home.

As a final touch to our meeting, Leonard takes from his bag of ornaments a hair clip shaped like a spinet and pins it high up-two feet from my forehead-in my towering coiffure. All those who look at me this day will know that today my friend Gluck, a composer and musician of great distinction, arrived at the Court of Versailles.

"Perhaps you recall?" I ask, unable to let Gluck leave me, "that Franz Xaver Wagenschon painted me at the spinet keyboard before I left home. I was practicing, and you were due to arrive for my lesson. I was wearing a blue dress, as I am today." I stand and slip out of the great dust jacket that always enswaddles anyone who is being powdered. "This dress too is trimmed in mink, like the one in the painting."

"I have admired the painting in the Red Room many times," Gluck replies seriously. "Each time, I have thought of how I miss you and of how glad I shall be, someday, to come to Paris and to make music for you and with you once again. Many times, your mother and I have stood before that portrait of you together and sighed deep sighs. The painting depicts the red curtain and red furniture in the room, as well as other paintings, rather dim, on the wall behind you."

"I hope I do not disappoint you today."

"You are as beautiful as ever. More so, for now you are a woman. Monsieur"-he suddenly addresses Leonard-"in that painting of which we speak, the archd.u.c.h.ess, known to you as Madame la Dauphine, was depicted in her natural hair, fair and blond. A single, simple braid, with pearls twisted along it, crossed her head. But your tower is quite a la mode, and I am touched"-he drags himself heavily to his feet-"that the two of you have conspired together to crown this happy reunion with a barrette of a spinet."

He is taking his leave, though I can scarcely bear to let him go. I must return to a day full of formality but devoid of feeling.

"And in the painting," I say, "one can almost read the notes on the page of the music book. The notes are painted so as to resemble not exactly notes, but the impression that a score makes on the eye, when seen from a distance."

Like the family member he is, Gluck reaches out to pat my hand. First it is just a pat, and then he runs his fingertips over the tips of my fingers.

"Ah, I can feel the calluses. You have been practicing the harp."

"Yes."

"Good for you. Where there is a lack of other connections, of meaningful moments, in our lives, music can often fill the gap."

I feel as though I may weep, so thoroughly does my old master understand. Instead, I straighten myself and banish the tears. Serenity is a quality that earns respect-I know this truth well. My poor friend the Princesse de Lamballe has almost made herself ridiculous, crying on every occasion.

"My dear chevalier," I say. "My mother has written me of the Parisian resistance to your Iphigenie. Let me a.s.sure you that it shall be presented there, and lavishly. Paris will be at your feet." I beam at him and recall how our lessons used to end: with rea.s.surances about my intention to practice; smiling, I p.r.o.nounce the old words from childhood again: "I promise."

THE HALL OF MIRRORS.

In the faint starlight, all about me are the large, beautiful garlands of painted or woven flowers: in the wallpaper, in the hangings around my bed, on the screens, and in the upholstery of the chairs. My bedchamber is a pink bower. The scalloped edge of the canopy over my bed suggests the bed is a basket of flowers. Would I love it any more if this were a real garden displaying the beauty of nature instead of that of artifice? Only if it were at Schonbrunn in Austria.

Here at Versailles, sleep does not come. Slipping on a dressing gown, I arise and walk about restlessly. I consult the portraits of my mother and my brother Joseph positioned above the mirrors. What do the Empress and the Emperor of Austria think is more beautiful-art or nature? My mother looks mildly amused. She says there is no need to choose. I do not consult the portrait of the Dauphin, my husband. It is his absence, the total absence of ardor in his const.i.tution that galls my soul.

Something soft and furry winds itself around my ankle; I hear purring. It is a black and white kitten, one of the new favorites of the King. Chaconne, the King has named him, a dance form similar to a saraband. I pick up kitty Chaconne and cuddle him to my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Together we walk from my chamber into the Peace room, which forms the southwest corner of the chateau, and then into the Hall of Mirrors, which faces west. I see the slipper of the new moon riding low on the horizon. I turn to see if it is reflected in the mirror opposite the window.

But what I see there is an image of Louis XV, looking at me. Quickly, I check to see if the reality of the reflection is in fact standing close to the window, also looking over the gardens at the moon.

"Your Majesty," I say, with a deep curtsy, still holding the soft kitten against my bosom.

"Ah, it is the cat's wet nurse," he says playfully. "How is my daughter?" Already his more decorous tone has shifted keys. "How is the always charming Dauphine?"

"I was unable to sleep."

"The attentions of my kitten awoke you?"

"It was the beauty of my room, with its new spring hangings, the floral ones. It was too exciting to sleep there. No doubt I'll soon become accustomed to the spring decor."

"Excited by beauty?" He slowly walks toward me. "From the beginning, I recognized the Dauphine as a rare and spontaneous creature."

"I hope, also, that I exhibit patience."

"Yes," he replies. "That, and more. But your patience with my grandson does not go unnoticed or unappreciated by me." Because he looks in the mirror to see our dual reflection, I too turn to see us.

"We are informal this evening," I say sweetly.

"Lit only by the shine of the sky," he replies. "Usually the room blazes with thousands of candles, doesn't it? The chandeliers are in their glory, the torcheres illumine the faces of the dignitaries. What did you think when you first saw the Hall of Mirrors?"

"On the morning you first escorted me to Ma.s.s, we pa.s.sed through this great hall quickly. I was too much in awe of Your Majesty to regard it carefully."

"But our progress through the state rooms went more slowly. We admired the ceiling paintings, the G.o.ds in their chariots-Mercury pulled by two little French c.o.c.ks. Rather far-fetched, I always thought. Allegorically appropriate, I suppose. Those paintings in the mythic state rooms are easier to see, not so high above us as these."

"What do these paintings depict, Your Majesty?"

Indeed, they are high above us, a great swirl of rich, dark colors of overwhelming complexity.

"They are all of Louis XIV, my great-grandfather." He sighs. "The history of my immediate predecessor."

"I have always loved the large medallion painting of Your Majesty on the wall of the Peace room."

"Yes, I was nineteen, about your age. The female figure there is Europe, whom I offer the olive twig of peace. The nursing mother represents Abundance-the Prosperity promised by Peace."

No sooner has he uttered the words than I can hear the age in his voice. Even his face, in this dim light, looks more worn. His usually luminous eye is dull.

"This Hall of Mirrors," I quickly go on, "embodies the majesty and glory of France, in the old days and in the present."

"It was designed to do so. To humble all who entered here."

When I first saw this grand hall, with its seventeen windows on one wall and the seventeen light-reflecting mirrors on the other, with its cavernous length lighted by seventeen crystal chandeliers, I could not believe there were only seventeen.

"The Hall of Mirrors has the sweep of eternity," I say. "The windows, mirrors, and chandeliers seem innumerable as the stars at night."

In a startling moment, I recall our great hall at Schonbrunn-we thought it so stately-with two chandeliers made of wood. The architecture and decor of Austria suddenly seem rustic to me. Ma.s.sive in comparison to the grace of France. But I will not confide these thoughts to Louis XV; I will not belittle the glory of my mother and brother.

The King chuckles. "When my daughters were young-if you can imagine that now, of Adelaide, Victoire, and Sophie-I had goats, cows, even an a.s.s walk across this s.p.a.ce to provide mes enfants with the freshest milk."

"Your Majesty was a most dear Papa," I exclaim affectionately.

"The moon has just slipped beyond the horizon."

"I should return to my chamber."

"Give me the little cat, then," he replies tenderly, "for company."

As I turn to go, he speaks again. "Tonight is a night of poetry, but I would speak to you, just for a moment, of politics."

I am surprised. The King never speaks to me of policies and politics.

"Gladly will I listen," I reply, "for I understand so little of these matters."

"You are your mother's daughter. You could learn, if you needed to." He glances into the mirror at himself. "During my lifetime, people have begun to speak differently than they did during the time of my great-grandfather. We have achieved the peace; your marriage is a part of its future. We have built up the navy and are building it up more, but at a cost five times greater than we have been accustomed to spending on the navy. All of our expenses-the beauty you enjoy about you-have expanded. I turned to the Parlements, hoping that they would see the necessity for increasing taxes. But they rebelled against austerity like bad children. They put all their energy into trying to limit the absolute power of the monarchy. There is a bold minister who speaks openly about reining in the power of the monarchy-Malesherbes."

In uttering that name, the King's voice sinks to a mutter, followed by a pause.

"Is he a traitor?" I ask, alarmed.

"No, Malesherbes is not a revolutionary. But he speaks out against what he perceives as 'despotism' and 'tyranny.' He would limit us. People used to say proudly that they served the King. Now they do not use the word King so often. What they say is that they are glad to serve the state. They wish to reinterpret history by claiming of my own coronation that I took an oath to the nation. I reply and have insisted my oath was to G.o.d."

Again, he pauses. I know that the Empress also considers her role to be her duty to G.o.d and her power to be bestowed by divine right, which is pa.s.sed through our blood, down the generations. Suddenly I fear that the King will chastise me as I stand in this great hall in my dressing gown-I have failed to produce an heir, but it is not my fault. I have been willing, sweet, and amusing-the charm-of-three attributes needed to please one's husband, according to the Empress. I have tried to attract the Dauphin to my bed, but the Empress's charm-of-three has not delivered him to me.

The King continues. "In March of 1766, when you were still a young girl, I spoke without compromise to the Parlement of Paris." He seems now to gather that moment to himself. He stands tall and takes a huge breath, then speaks loudly into the empty Hall of Mirrors, his words reverberating throughout the s.p.a.ce.

"In my person alone resides the sovereign power! From me alone does this Parlement and all the Parlements derive both their existence and their authority. Such authority can be exercised only in my name. It can never be turned against me." The great hall echoes and reechoes. "All legislative power belongs ultimately to me. The entire public order issues from me because I am its supreme guardian, anointed by G.o.d. My people and my person are one and the same. The nation has no body apart from the body of the monarch!"

The kitten Chaconne leaps from his arms and runs silently away from the thunder of his voice.

Very meekly, I say, "It is just the way that the Holy Church represents the body of Christ. Would I be right, Your Majesty, in thinking the ideas are parallel?"

Quietly, he replies, "I gave that speech to the Paris Parlement. And, yes. The Roman Catholic Church, holy and apostolic, is the body of our Lord and Savior. Some would presume to make the interests of the nation into a separate body from that of the monarch, but the two are necessarily united. The good of the nation is united with my own good, and the good can rest only in the hands of the monarch. In my hands. Malesherbes, the philosophes, the encyclopedists, Voltaire, Rousseau to the contrary."