"Noah's ark isn't feasible. You couldn't carry that many creatures and their food in a boat ten times the size the Bible describes."

El grinned. "You could, of course, if you were carrying their DNA."

"DNA?"

"Exactly. Truth, my friend, is found in the gray s.p.a.ce between religion and science."

"DNA wasn't discovered until the 1950s."

"No, that's when it was rediscovered. We modern humans want to believe that we are at the pinnacle of evolution and intellectual thought." He said this with a mocking grin. "So we conveniently ignore everything counter to that belief, including architectural marvels that are thousands of years old that we cannot duplicate today. We are not more intelligent. Greater cultures have lived and died, not just in the universe, but on this planet.

"Did you know that in 1913 a farmer in a tiny South African town called Boskop discovered a skull unlike anything anyone had seen before? It was so unusual that it made its way to the top scientists and anthropologists around the world. What was so unusual about the skull was its dimensions. The skull was larger than ours, but its face was smaller. In fact, it was less apelike than we are. You might have seen these pictures-they're the same face we see in people's descriptions of today's aliens.

"At first, scientists thought that these skulls might be an anomaly, an aberration, caused by a disease, like hydrocephalus, or some such thing. But this theory was quickly disproven when scores of similar skulls were discovered.

"These beings had brains twenty-five percent larger than ours. Scientists estimate that their average IQ would be close to 150, which means, on average, they were geniuses." He leaned forward. "Do you understand what I'm saying? They were smarter than us. They were more advanced than us. We are an intellectual step backward." He leaned forward again. "If you still haven't caught my deeper meaning, let me spell it out for you, Alan. They were not us. We are not alone." He studied my eyes for my reaction. "The evidence is everywhere, carved into the records of our earth. On every continent there are carvings and hieroglyphs of s.p.a.cemen and s.p.a.ceships. They are described in great detail in the Bible. Just open to Ezekiel."

"You're talking about aliens," I said. "You believe in UFOs?"

"My belief system isn't predicated on faith. I have knowledge. And the term UFO is a misnomer. The crafts you're referring to aren't really unidentified flying objects if they've been identified, are they?"

"Are you saying that you've seen them?" I asked.

"Seen them, touched them, with gloves, of course, they're remarkably hot once they've traveled in our atmosphere, I've even been inside them. But it's not the crafts-it's the pilots I find most intriguing. Seeing them for the first time, if you don't wet yourself, is a mind flush. Trust me, everything you think you know about the world is immediately down the toilet. The first time I saw them, it took me days to stop shaking."

I just looked at him.

"Of course you're skeptical. It's safer that way. But believe me, they are as real as you or me."

"You're telling me that you've seen an alien from another planet?"

He smiled. "I've sat in councils with them. I would say that we are, intellectually, like children next to them, but I would be doing them a disservice in the representation. We are more like apes, our spiritual and mental development so rudimentary, it would be like enrolling a chimpanzee in advanced Harvard physics and theology cla.s.ses. Their translators speak our crude language so exquisitely, it's like listening to Mozart." He leaned forward. "Let me teach you something, Alan. Have you ever wondered why it is that whenever there's a major technical breakthrough, it seems to appear around the globe at the same time-advancements like the pyramids, the airplane, the electric filament or radio waves? That's because when the Guardians believe our species is ready to advance the idea is released to us."

"Guardians?"

"That's what I call them, but that's only because our inefficient language doesn't have the proper t.i.tle for them. They call themselves the Ahn, which roughly means 'parent' or 'enlightened caregiver.' But most people just call them G.o.d. The truth is, they are a collective-a fully cohesive society."

"You're telling me that Marconi and the Wright brothers spoke to aliens?"

El grinned. "Heavens, no. As brilliant as those men were, they weren't ready. Even Moses had to view them through a holographic light wave transmission, which he, out of ignorance, called a burning bush. The Guardians don't need to reveal themselves to teach us. They have their means of feeding our minds. It's fascinating, really, a technologically produced telepathy. Think of it as a mental download. They'll seed a half dozen people at the same time with the same revelation, and let them compete to come out first with the invention-much the same way a farmer will overplant his field to ensure a bountiful harvest."

I didn't know what to say.

"Alan, I know this is difficult for you to accept. Changing a paradigm is never easy. But think about it. There is nothing more globally ubiquitous than the belief in extraterrestrial existence. The president of Russia spoke of aliens living among us, President Kennedy was caught on tape talking about secret alien captures, even Jimmy Carter publicly claimed to have seen a flying saucer. What surprises me is that you, or anyone else, would be surprised. Or, in this age of 'reason,' insist on living in denial.

"It is, perhaps, the only common ground that religionists and scientists share, both fighting to defend the indefensible argument that we are alone in the universe. And why? Because they don't want to know the truth."

"Why wouldn't they want to know the truth?" I said. "It's in their best interest."

El laughed. "Is it? Forgive my amus.e.m.e.nt, but for an advertising man you have a poor understanding of the human mind, Alan. People have always preferred mystery to truth. Most people don't even know the truth of their own beliefs. Ask them about the inner workings of their own religion or their religion's history and they pull their heads in like turtles. It's understandable. Religion is like sausage-it's best not to know what goes into it." He laughed again. "But there are those who are not afraid of the truth. People like you and me. It is our obligation and burden to act as shepherds to guide the flock."

Just then, the blue-haired man brought out our dinner. Sliced turkey breast, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes and gravy. I was as glad for the distraction as I was for the food.

"Ah, time to eat," El said.

"Looks like Thanksgiving dinner," I said.

"We are thankful," El said. "Our path is the way of grat.i.tude. Please, allow me to give thanks for this food."

He raised his hands above his head and said in a loud voice, "Our G.o.d, who looks favorably upon thy chosen vessels, we praise Thee for thy goodness and power and our knowledge of Thee, the only truth, the only way, the only salvation. In the name of He who is worthy of worship throughout the universe, Jesus the Christ, Amen."

A chorus of "amens" filled the room. El looked at me. "Please, partake. The food is delicious. DarEl was a chef at the Four Seasons New York before he was enlightened."

El was right, about the food at least. Everything was exceptional. Thankfully, my host allowed me a moment to eat in silence. As I ate, I observed what was going on around the room. There was a bank of tables near one side where a dozen or more people were sitting with headphones on. There were others reading, all from the same book, a hardcover volume with a bright red and gold cover. A few others were cleaning. Everyone was busy.

A few minutes later I pointed to the group of people with headphones. "What are they listening to?"

El turned around to look at them. "Sermons. They listen for three to four hours a day. Usually after they finish their ch.o.r.es."

"Whose sermons?"

"Mine, of course."

"And the red books?"

"The Celestial Scripture. Prophecies I've received, including those of the last days before Christ returns and the earth receives its nuclear baptism of fire."

"Then you believe Christ will return?"

"Of course we do. And what a sight it will be, when legions of crafts in the thousands and tens of thousands descend upon the earth, ushering in a new age of power and glory. The AhnEl will be there to a.s.sist in the transference of that power. Then we will be called up to our rightful place, and the kings and queens of this earth will be as our servants and our enemies will be as dust."

I gestured to the people in the room. "These people?"

"They shall rule the world."

"Where are they from?"

"The earth, of course."

"I a.s.sumed that."

"a.s.sume nothing," El said. "They are the children of light. They are like the first stars in the twilight sky before nighttime is upon us and the fullness of the galaxy is seen in all its brilliance. But these are only a few of the enlightened. I have thousands of followers, in dozens of countries. I have nearly a hundred ordained missionaries out gathering the pure in heart, those not so darkened by their l.u.s.ts and fears to hear truth. They are out seeking the tinder that is ready for the spark of enlightenment to blaze in their hearts and souls."

"These followers will do whatever you say?"

"I am their teacher and representative to the Guardians. Though, truthfully, I am merely a subst.i.tute teacher, filling in until the real teachers arrive-the G.o.ds hasten that day! They could step in anytime. They are all around us. They have been for millennia."

"Your followers seem ..." I hesitated.