"I didn't have time to change. I was out somewhere and got delayed."

"And what are you going to do on Christmas Day, sit home and watch It's a Wonderful Life on TV?"

"Good idea. I love that movie."

"Even George Bailey rejoined the land of the living," Jerri said gently. "Do you think Ray would want to see you like this? Do you think he wants you as dead as he is?"

Carol felt her friend's words like a sharp razor across tender skin. If anyone else had talked to her like that she'd have turned and walked away, but you didn't turn your back on a friend undergoing chemotherapy. Carol squirmed, looking for a way to change the subject.

Jerri pressed on. "Life's too short. Do you really want to live it in a way that you'll regret farther down the road when it's too late to change?"

Kay had drifted over to a nearby chair now. "Amen to that, sister. The time to make changes is now."

"n.o.body expects you to go out dancing," Jerri added. "But maybe you could do something..."

Kay nodded toward the baby grand in the corner of Jerri's living room. "I know a good place to start. How about playing some Christmas songs for us? I know you play."

Carol was hardly in the mood for Christmas songs. She wasn't in the mood to even be here now. "I don't play by ear," she said stiffly.

"I think we've got an old Christmas songbook in the piano bench," Jerri said. "Our daughter always plays them for us. Please," she added. "I'd love to hear some nice music."

Joe was back in the room now, carrying a bowl of soup.

"We've got a book of Christmas music, don't we?" Jerri asked him.

"Sure," he said. He set down the soup and dug the book out of the piano bench.

Carol had no excuse now. Anyway, it would be rude to refuse her friend, especially when they'd come here for the express purpose of bringing Jerri some holiday cheer. And at least if they were singing, Jerri couldn't be lecturing.

She settled at the piano, and propped open the book Joe had found. "What do you want to hear?"

"'Silver Bells,'" Kay requested.

Carol found it and started to play. She was no concert pianist, and her sight-reading skills were a little rusty, but no one seemed to care. They started humming along, and Kay drifted over to stand behind her, reading the words over her shoulder.

She poked Carol in the shoulder. "Sing with me."

Carol obliged, although the saccharine lyrics about happy shoppers almost gagged her.

"That was lovely," Sharon said when they had finished. "You gals should go on the road."

"We could become stars," Kay joked. "I'd be rich, and I'd never have to hear another word about budgets ever again."

"What would you like to hear, Jerri?" Joy asked.

"'Joy to the World.'"

Carol flipped to it and began to play. Joy left the hearth and came to add a third voice, and then Joe added a new dimension with his baritone.

Halfway through the song the message behind the lyrics. .h.i.t Carol full force. There was a reason to be glad this holiday season. Hope still remained, and even if she couldn't find her way back to full-fledged joy this season, maybe she could create a small corner of happiness. If she could convince herself it was worth the effort.

She accompanied Joe while he sang "Feliz Navidad" to his wife, making her smile. Then, as Jerri was looking tired, Joy suggested they exchange their Christmas presents. Carol's was from Jerri. Her throat tightened as she opened her gift box and found a hand-decorated photo alb.u.m and a disposable camera.

"For those great memories you'll soon be making," Jerri said softly.

"Thank you," Carol said. For everything.

She felt a warmth, small like a candle flame, stirring inside her when she finally headed home. Maybe Jerri had a point. Maybe it was time to quit worrying about her friends and their strike and look for a way she could end hers.

She'd left only one lamp on, and her entry hall was dark and still, like a mausoleum. Beyond it, the living room lay in equal darkness. No cheery tree greeted her, no candles, no festive decorations. Was this really how she wanted to live the rest of her life? Was this how Ray would have wanted her to live?

George the cat brushed against her leg, making her jump.

She bent and picked him up. "This is no way to live, you know," she informed him. She scratched behind his ear, then put him down and went to the kitchen. He trotted hopefully behind. "No, it's not all about you," she said to him. "You can wait a minute or two."

She pulled the phone directory from one of the kitchen drawers and looked up Darren's phone number. Her heart began to hammer against her chest, threatening to really make her uncomfortable if she didn't stop what she was doing immediately, but she bit her lip and punched in his number anyway. She ignored the urge to hang up when she got his answering machine and forced herself to leave a message. She had to take a deep breath after she hung up, but, in spite of her accelerated heart rate, she realized she felt good. No, not just good, excited.

She dialed Ariel next. "How about joining me for dinner Christmas Eve?"

Nineteen.

It was Friday. It had been the day from h.e.l.l at work, and now Glen had to come home, put on his Santa hat, and do more Christmas stuff.

"You're almost through this," he told himself as he pulled into the garage. The house was decorated, the shopping done (thanks to that cool Web site Bob Robertson had suggested), and the cards had all gone out, along with copies of the much-hated Santa pictures.

Actually, Laura had changed her mind about the picture. Now she'd decided it was kind of cute. Mostly he knew she was looking at it as proof of her superiority when it came to managing anything having to do with the family and the holidays. Like he'd ever said she didn't have it together? He'd always known it. Okay, so he'd taken it all for granted. She'd made her point. He wished he could end this thing.

Of course, if he threw in the towel he'd never hear the end of it. He'd said he could handle this, and he would. But only the knowledge that he was almost to the finish line kept him going.

That and a little help from his mom, the scab. She had come through with flying colors on the costumes, producing some weird, brown cloth topped with green felt leaves for Amy's tree costume for the winter concert. And she'd made the necessary white robe and gold tinsel halo that would turn Amy into a perfect angel for the Christmas pageant. She'd even found wings. Lucky for him his mom thought Laura was carrying the strike thing a little too far. It would have been hard, no, impossible to pull off those costumes without Mom's help. But he wasn't admitting that to Laura. Now the tree and the angel outfit sat side by side in giant black, plastic garbage bags in the front hall, ready and waiting for the shows to go on. And the first one would be tonight.

He found Laura and the kids in the family room, watching Veggie Tales.

"We have to hit Burger Land tonight," she informed him. "I'm too p.o.o.ped to cook. We got slammed at work."

"Oh, yeah. Tomorrow's the big Hollydays Fair." He always liked going to that. Laura usually bought Christmas presents at it. No need for that this year, though. Everything was already ordered and on its way.

Still, he supposed they'd all go anyway. It was a big community event. Held on the Green at the center of town, the fair offered every kind of entertainment from d.i.c.kens carolers to school choirs and bands. And a guy could find every Christmas junk food known to man. All the local artisans would be present, peddling their wares. And, maybe, if every subscriber to the Herald hadn't shopped with Bob Robertson's online personal shopper, they'd even have some customers.

"Well, then," Glen said, "if we're gonna be on time for the school program we'd better get going." He clapped his hands together. "Okay, guys. Let's go get some dinner."

"Beggie tales," Tyler protested as Glen turned off the TV, shutting down Bob the Tomato.

"We've gotta go eat, kid. Otherwise we'll be late for your sister's concert."

"Beggie tales," Tyler repeated, and started to bawl.

There was no reasoning with a two-year-old. Glen scooped him up and followed Laura and Amy to the front door.

Tyler kept crying all the way. He finally simmered down to whimpers when he saw Laura pulling their coats out of the closet.

"Oh, we almost forgot the camera," she said. "Put your coat on, sweetie," she instructed Amy, and hurried off to the spare room that doubled as an office to retrieve the digital. "Can you get the diaper bag?" she called to Glen.

"Got it. Stay right there," he told the kids.

He found the diaper bag hanging on a peg in the laundry room where Laura always kept it along with the spare diapers. Of course, it was empty. The daycare must have used up the last of them.

He sighed. Why was it always such a big production to go anywhere with kids?

He had just reloaded when he heard Amy cry, "Tyler, no! That's mine."

Oh boy, Tyler the Terrible was at it again and that meant trouble. Glen left the laundry room at a fast trot.

"Tyler, no!" This was followed by fresh wailing from Tyler. Really not good.

Glen's trot became a gallop and he and Laura both got to the front hall just as Amy shoved her little brother. Tyler tumbled back, his crying accelerating to a screech. He caught a potted plant on his way down and tipped that over, sending dirt everywhere. Amy the aggressor stood clutching a stuffed reindeer.

"Amy!" Laura scolded.

"He took my reindeer," Amy said.

What a mess! Glen set the pot upright again while Laura got a completely bananas Tyler on his feet, all the while soothing, "It's okay. You're all right."

"You need to share with your brother," Glen said to Amy. He had to raise his voice to make himself heard over his son. The kid was going to break his eardrums, he was sure.

"He'd wreck it," she insisted.

"Tyler, stop crying," Glen pleaded. "We're going to Burger Land. I'll get you a Monster Meal."

Tyler was crying too loud to even hear him.

"Come on. Let's get your coat on," Laura said calmly to the howling Tyler, and started stuffing him into his jacket.

How did she manage to stay calm when Tyler was carrying on so hard he looked like his face was going to melt? Listening to that racket fried practically every nerve in Glen's body. He took the Dust Buster out of the corner of the coat closet and set to work vacuuming up the mess. Even that couldn't drown out his son.

Laura picked up Tyler the noise machine. "Okay, let's go. Make sure you get the right costume," she told Glen as she opened the door.

What did he look like, an idiot? "I'm on it," he snapped, and stuffed the Dust Buster back in the closet. He was just getting his keys when the phone rang. He snagged it with one hand while he grabbed a bag with the other. "h.e.l.lo," he barked into the receiver.

"h.e.l.lo, sir. I'm Leon from the Holly Herald. How are you tonight?"

Fried and half deaf. "Look, I'm headed out the door," Glen said.

"Well, this will only take a minute," Leon a.s.sured him. "I'm calling to offer you a free trial subscription to the Herald."

Laura was already buying the paper on a regular basis, thanks to the strike. Once this was over Glen didn't care if he ever saw that rag again. Anyway, he got all his news on the Internet.

"No, thanks," he said.

"How about just the Sunday edition?" Leon pushed.

"Come on, Glen," Laura called from the driveway.

"I'm in the d.a.m.n Sunday edition," Glen snarled, and hung up.

With everyone piled in the minivan, they all took off for Burger Land. Tyler had finally shut up, but it took Glen two burgers and a salad to feel like he was in control of his world again. Tyler spilled ice cream all over himself, but who cared? At least he wasn't crying.

"We'd better get going," Laura said after she'd mopped Tyler down. "We don't want our star to be late," she added, smiling at Amy.

"I have a part to say," Amy announced once they were back in the minivan, then launched into her speech. "I am Mother Nature's child, and when it's cold and snowing you can make a fire from me and get warm while I'm glowing."

"Good job," Glen told her. "You'll do great."

At school, Laura took Tyler and went to find seats in the auditorium, leaving Glen to get Amy to her cla.s.sroom. Mrs. Green, the kindergarten teacher, was in her glory, oohing and aahing over every kid's dopey-looking costume as she helped each one get ready. Two slightly frazzled parent helpers-both dads, big surprise-were helping her get the kids' costumes on over their regular clothes. One guy was trying to pin leaves in his little girl's hair. It gave Glen horrible flashbacks of when he had to get Amy ready for her picture with Santa. The guy saw Glen and glared at him like it was all Glen's fault he was in this room with twenty hyped five-year-olds. Right. Like it was Glen who started this thing.

Mrs. Green came up to him and Amy, her dangly Rudolph earrings flashing. "h.e.l.lo, Amy. h.e.l.lo, Mr. Fredericks. Did Amy tell you she has a part to say tonight?"

"Oh, yeah," Glen said. "She knows it by heart."

"And she's going to do a very good job," said Mrs. Green. "Aren't you, Amy?" Mrs. Green was the perfect woman to be a kindergarten teacher. She was middle-aged, short and round, and looked like everybody's grandma.

Amy looked adoringly at her and nodded.

She patted Amy's shoulder, then said to Glen, "We're a little behind, so maybe you wouldn't mind staying behind a moment and helping Amy into her costume?"

That was the last thing Glen wanted to do, but how did you say no to Grandma? "Sure, no problem."

Another parent came into the room, kid in tow, and Mrs. Green gave Glen and Amy a final smile and hurried off to usher in the new arrival.

"Well, let's get you ready for your big role," he said to his daughter. He opened the bag and pulled out..."What the h.e.l.l?" Panic rose in him clear up to his eyeb.a.l.l.s. "This is your angel costume," he told Amy. What was that doing here? He shoved it back into the bag.

"But, Daddy, I'm a tree," she said, looking at him wide-eyed.

s.h.i.t, s.h.i.t, s.h.i.t. Where was the tree costume? Back home, of course, in the other bag. What was he going to do? He couldn't put Amy in this. She'd stick out like the Easter Bunny at a Halloween party.

She was biting her lip now and looking around at the other kids in the room. Tree, tree, angel. She was going to be a math genius; even at five she could tell when things weren't adding up.

"Don't panic," Glen said to both of them. "It'll be okay."

No, it wouldn't. This was a disaster. His kid would be a laughingstock. He thought fast, calculating the time it would take to get from school to home and back again. They were here fifteen minutes early. It would take almost ten of those fifteen minutes to get out of here and to the house. But these things never started on time. Then the princ.i.p.al would give a welcome speech. That would take at least five minutes. He could do it. He had to.