I, on the other hand, should have felt guiltier for my behavior. Lucy had become such an important person in my life. And with her fragile body and thin arms, I think she awoke a protective instinct for her inside me. And in all Fiona's absence, it sometimes became hard to picture her as vividly as she would be in person.

Chapter 19.

Subject: Rome My dear Fiona Well, at least I don't snore. Can't have everything... But why do you have to sleep in shared dorms anyway? I'm not sure that's safe.

Today was Friday and my new comic appeared in the newspaper. I've received some good feedback already.

Eat some pizza for me!

Kev Another card arrived. This one was from Venice. It showed a few gondolas which were tied to the typical blue and white striped poles and in the background a big church or Venetian building. Everything had a slight red-orange hue for the picture was probably taken at sunset.

Dear Kevin Thanks for your e-mails. It was nice to hear from you. I can't get online every day but we try to find free Wi-Fi from time to time.

The first impression of Venice is quite as we would have expected it; cute, old, narrow houses surrounded by the ca.n.a.ls & lots of bridges. The funny thing about the bridges is that the walkway of the bridges consists of stairs and not of a flat bow. Well, there are no cars in Venice but imagine the poor people who have to carry everything they want to move from one place to another!

On our way to famous San Marco Square we got lost a little (for about an hour) and simply walked through one narrow alley after another. Some of the pillars started to look oddly familiar... Eventually, it got dark and we sat down to have some dinner. This time I had pasta "Frutti di Mare". It was delicious!! Then, we finally found San Marco. It looked nice with all the lights that illuminated the buildings but we decided to come back the next day and have a look at all the pigeons which were supposed to be there. We took a taxi boat, which was fun. The gondolas unfortunately, are too expensive for us students. So, the next day, we returned to the square. The buildings around it truly are beautiful! And, yes, there are millions of pigeons and oh, how I hate them! Useless, disease carrying, spoiled animals! One of them p.o.o.ped on my head. It was so bad, that we had to return to the hostel so that I could wash my hair again...

Mhh, but I did have the best coconut ice cream ever here!

Now we're off on the train to Florence. I'll write again tomorrow.

Love, Fiona On a picture perfect day in July, I met up with Lucy at the beach. She was there first, lying on a green towel, with her elbows propped under her back, so that she could overlook the ocean. She wore a purple bandana, a gray sweater and a long purple skirt. A normal person would have sweated to death.

'Lucy, how long have you been here for?' I yelled when I approached her.

She didn't turn to face me but when I arrived next to her she started speaking in a quiet voice. 'I love the sound of the waves and how a white crown of bubbles travels over the dark blue ocean. I always wanted to surf. I thought I would start that when I'm too old for the dancing. I felt so comfortable with my body. I wasn't fat and you could even see some muscles. The boys liked me too, you know.' She kept starring at the waves. 'Now, I look like an anorexic who to top it off made a bad hair-do choice. What good is it to have a body that doesn't support you in anything you want to do anymore?'

I eyed her for a moment, not sure where this sudden downswing of her mood came from. Both our egos hurt from not being as sportive as before anymore, that wasn't anything new. I lay on the sand beside her and also looked out onto the ocean.

'You don't look like an anorexic. You are thin, yes, but whenever I am so lucky to see you in something less than all these sweaters, I think that you shouldn't hide your perfect collar bones. You could easily be a model for underwear.' I teased.

'Ah, is that so. You'd just want me to be a model so that you could profit from all the money I would make.' The slightest smile played around her lips.

'In addition, some woman would kill to have such a fair skin as you do. You'd be the perfect cast for Snow White. And who could not love your shiny blue eyes. Actually, you should stop wearing these towels because they take away some of the attention from your pretty face.'

She laughed slightly. 'These are probably the first compliments I received in years. Be careful or you'll make me blush.' She turned her head towards me, reached over to my chin and drew my head closer to hers. It was the most sensitive kiss on my cheek I had ever received. Her lips and skin were even softer than those of Fiona because she had lost even the smallest facial hair.

This kiss brought another idea to my mind. I wanted to do something for Lucy that would make her really happy. She shouldn't have one reason to be depressed about. I only didn't know what exactly yet. It would have been awesome to get her on a surfboard. But the current state of her health undoubtedly didn't permit this.

It was Fiona who then gave me the vital spark.

My dearest Kevin Florence is a magnificent old town. There are hundreds of pretty statues spread in the city.

Here we're staying with our first Couchsurfer. She is 26 and works as a primary school teacher, so unfortunately during the weekdays, she is busy. So then we just wandered around town a bit and relaxed in the parks. But in the evening Isabella showed us a nice pizza place and we climbed on a church tower (368 steps!!) from where we had a beautiful view over Florence. Especially the river which cuts through Florence, with all its small bridges looked nice from up there.

Amanda and I could sleep on a pull-out couch in the living room for free.

I don't have more time to write now as we're arriving in Milan soon.

Hope you are well.

Much love, Fiona Couchsurfing. I found out that there was a huge amount of people offering their place to stay for free in New York State alone. I had to see Lucy to tell her about my plan of going Couchsurfing somewhere around here. Thus, I dropped by at her house. Her parents were quite acquainted with me by then for all the times I had been at her place. Unfortunately, "acquainted" didn't equal "like". At least that's how I perceived it. I mean, Lucy's parents were polite but I always felt like this was only some kind of facade. At that point I thought they were a little too overprotective of their daughter. She was 19 already, for crying out loud. That's not the age to sit in hospital gardens or in your room to read love stories all day long.

'Lucy, let me guess, "The Notebook"?' I blurred out when I walked into her room.

'No, I finished that two days ago, now it's "The Time Traveler's Wife."' Lucy smiled and waved with the book in her hands and then got right back to her page.

'Well, what an honor that you put it aside just to give me a hug.'

'One second, let me finish that page quickly.' She said as if she was in a hurry.

So, all I did was stand there like an idiot for a moment. After at least half a minute had pa.s.sed she finally lay her book aside and gave me my well-earned hug.

'Sorry, but I'm at such a good part right now, it's hard to take my eyes off it.'

'Isn't my cover pretty neat and hard to leave your eyes off it, too?' I flexed my muscles.

Lucy laughed. 'Sure. So, what was that plan you had in mind for today?' She looked at me expectantly.

'It's actually not only for today. In addition, I have something for you.' I grinned.

'Ah, seriously? What is it?' She eagerly raised her head.

'Close your eyes.' She obeyed and I stepped behind her and just as I wanted to take her head towel off she jumped up and around. I had never seen her move that quickly. I managed to hide my hands with the surprise behind my back just in time.

'What are you doing?' She yelled.

'Calm down, Lucy, I wasn't going to hurt you.'

'Yeah, but you wanted to take off my bandana and I don't want you to see my head.' Her eyes were wide with fear.

'I'm sorry. I didn't know you still felt so self-conscious about it around me.' I took a step back a little offended that she didn't seem to trust me after all the time we had spent together.

She didn't budge.

'I know pretty well what a bald head looks like. There's nothing ugly about it.' I pulled her closer and sat her down again, slightly ma.s.saging her bony shoulders.

'Can I give you my present now?' I asked.

She sighed. 'Okay.'

'So, close your eyes.'

And when she did, I started this whole operation again. I pulled her purple bandana off her head, which was covered with silky fluff, like the head of a baby.

I took the bandana I had hid in my pockets and wrapped it around her head. I wasn't so skilled with that knot tying business, so when I was finished, she looked like a gypsy.

'Okay, done.'

She got up and walked to the mirror. When she saw the reflection of herself, she started to laugh.

'Oh, cool, where did you find that?'

I had given her an orange towel with sunsets, palm trees and surfboards on it. 'I walked into it by chance on a flea market. You better keep wearing that to be in style, we're going surfing!'

'I like it, it's so colorful. Thank you.' She hugged me again. 'So are we going to Hawaii?' She joked.

'Would be cool but I rather thought about something around here. You have the choice between somewhere in the Adirondacks, Lake George or Cape Cod and we're staying one night as Couchsurfers.'

'And you think, somebody would let us stay with them?' She pointed at herself and me.

'Yes, why not? The only problem I see is with your parents. You might have to invent a different story for them because I have a feeling that they wouldn't let you leave with me.'

'I guess so.' She stated.

'So, are you in?'

'I don't know what to say.' She was quiet for a moment.

'Let's have a look on the website.' I suggested and we sat down at the laptop. Although Lucy was a bit skeptic at first, afterward she was all for it. She decided that she wanted to go to Lake George. To play it safe that somebody would host us, we picked three people and I took the task upon me to write them.

Eric was finally back from college and I accompanied him to the mall for some errands he had to run.

'Working for Bullers isn't the same without you.' Eric referred to my former boss at the construction site.

'We can still hang out afterward. I do feel better now actually but due to the medication I still tire pretty quickly.'

'And believe me, I'm happy for you that you are going on a small holiday but is Fiona okay with it that you are going on vacation with a girl?' He looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

'I don't know. I haven't told her yet. There haven't been any letters from her in a few days.' I pursed my lips. I felt this inner tension I imagine a smoker would feel that longs for his next cigarette. I needed Fiona's daily words. I wanted to know that she was safe and it let me know that we were still on the right track if she dedicated so much effort to writing to me during her vacations.

'I don't think she'll like it.' Eric shook his head.

'But it's the same as if I'd go away with you. She's a good friend.'

'But she is a girl.' He stated.

'In whom I don't have a deeper interest.'

'How will you convince Fiona of that if you spend so much time with Lucy?'

'Ugh.' I sighed. 'How come you have such an insight into girls?' I said defeated. 'Now that you aren't even in a proper relationship.'

'That's what growing up with three sisters teaches you.' He winked. 'Plus, this "no strings attached" thing is very recommendable. We're both having fun but still enough time for our hobbies and goals.'

I shook my head. 'What happened to the world? I feel like you turned into me and I turned into you.'

Eric understood what I meant and clapped on my back.

'Fiona will come around and fully be with you again. You were good together and the way you still talk to each other despite the distance proofs that there still has to be something.' He said.

'I sure hope it won't take her much longer.' I replied.

The couch requests were successful. In my messages, I told them about the situation and Lucy's wish to "surf". In the end, we just picked the first one who had replied which was a young couple, 27 and 28 and the woman was heavily pregnant.

Subject: Florence Hey Fiona Now I finally have something exciting to tell you too. All your talk about traveling and Couchsurfing made me itch to have something exciting in my life as well. So, I planned a trip to Lake George. I used to go there as a child and I can't wait to see how it is today. I will also stay with Couchsurfers.

Thank you for all your postcards and letters. Soon, my whole bedroom wall will be plastered with pictures from Europe J.

I miss you Xoxo Kev Two days later a whole envelope with letters from Fiona arrived. As always, I locked myself into my room. I wanted to seize her handwriting and absorb her words, since I didn't have anything else from her.

Hey Kev!

Milan, fashion metropolis of Italy=) And we did do some shopping but mostly on the market or in stores you can also find in the US. Unfortunately, Dolce & Gabbana and their friends are a little bit over our budget. But nice to look at their vitrines anyway. Here, we're staying with another Couchsurfer. He is a student from Denmark who is living and working in Italy for a year. He takes his role of a host pretty serious and takes such good care of us. First, he took us to the town center. We got out of the metro at Duomo and the first thing we saw when we climbed up the stairs was this huge cathedral. That was amazing! We walked around a lot and saw many beautiful buildings. However, I think one day is enough to see the most important parts of Milan. I would have liked to see the original painting of Da Vinci's "Last Supper" though. But Jens had been right of course, when we arrived there, they told us that it was booked out for the next two weeks. We should have signed up to see the painting... I mean, come on, you walk in there, have a look for a few minutes and then you go out again. How can it have too many people who do this for the next 15 days?!

In the evening, Jens took us to Navigli. It's a part of town where many bars and restaurants are lined up along the river. We paid 7 Euros for a delicious and beautifully made c.o.c.ktail and included in the price was also a buffet with food. Moreover, the food was amazing! And the atmosphere along the river was nice. I guess, I'd like to spend some more evenings here, but you should be here too! But I am looking forward to Switzerland tomorrow. I'll probably sleep well tonight. Amanda and I both have our couch=) So, good night!

I miss you.

<3 fiona="" good="" night.="" although="" it="" was="" 9.30am,="" i="" imagined="" how="" fiona="" would="" cuddle="" up="" next="" to="" me="" whispering="" these="" phrases="" into="" my="" ear.="" i="" tossed="" the="" card="" from="" milan="" aside="" which="" had="" a="" picture="" of="" this="" duomo="" on="" its="" front="" and="" dedicated="" my="" attention="" to="" the="" second="">

Sal =) How are you today? We arrived at the house of Amanda's relatives in Bern. Switzerland really is beautiful and I'm glad we will be spending a whole week here! On top of that, Amanda's relatives completely spoil us. They give us so much food, they must think that we haven't eaten anything since we've arrived in Europe.

They showed us the city with the parliament building and a little park with bears. There also is the river Aare which is cutting through Bern. With its bright blue-green water it's a beautiful contrast to the houses and trees. From a bridge we saw that there were hundreds of people in the water. The Eggers said that on hot summer days almost every habitant of Bern would jump into the Aare and float down the river, accelerated by nothing but its current. We wanted to do that too, so we got back to get our swim suits. They warned us that we shouldn't underestimate the current and that we really have to hold on to the handlebar of the exit and then quickly get out of the water. I couldn't have been in there for too long anyway, the water of the river was FREEZING!!!! But it was so much fun! You don't have to do anything; the water just carries you down the river.

For dinner, we had a Rsti and Bratwurst. And for dessert the best chocolate cake ever! Gaby, Amanda's aunt, wrote down the recipe for me, I'll also put it in this envelope.

Tomorrow, we're all going to Zermatt and we'll stay there for a night. From there we should see the famous Matterhorn.

Hope you're well.

Fiona Sounded nice, that floating down the river part. Everything sounded nice actually and attached was another postcard which I could hang over my bed. I also found the recipe for the chocolate cake. I'd try that sometime this week.

I found another postcard. I didn't even have to turn it around to read that it was the Matterhorn. Even I know the model for the small Toblerone chocolates. Of course there was another letter, too.

Hey, it's me again=) I'll put several letters into one envelope this time because I didn't have the opportunity to run to a post office yet.

Right now I'm sitting on the terrace of our hostel from where I have a view over the small town of Zermatt. The houses in the village are exceedingly pretty, most of them are made out of wood.

Everything is rather expensive here; luckily dinner is included with the overnight stay at the hostel.

After dinner, we made a little walk in the outskirts of town, from where we could see the Matterhorn perfectly. The shape of this mountain beyond doubt is unique.