It helped that I was the only person she ever truly let in. She liked keeping to herself, her fear of becoming like her mother and her insecurity after being abandoned by her father always looming over her. It made it easy for me to keep her to myself. The guys in school knew that she was off limits. I think even the girls I dated knew that they were flings and that Sofia was the one. It was never spoken out loud, but we belonged together.

My security in that idea was my undoing, because during the time we spent at The Shade, it seemed she let someone else in Derek Novak. I never could've seen that coming. No one was ever able to penetrate her walls, but it seemed like he did. He managed to get through to her and I couldn't understand how.

All I knew as I sat across that table from her in the library, was that I was losing her by the minute. You never know what you got until it's gone, Ben. You treated her like c.r.a.p and now, you're scrambling to fix things with her.

"I'm not trying to pressure you, Sofia..." I began to say.

"Really? That's exactly what it feels like."

I wasn't used to her being so a.s.sertive around me. She normally always heard me out yet another thing that changed about her since we left The Shade.

"I can't take this." I got up from my seat. "I'll see you after practice." Like I always did when forced into situations I had no idea how to handle, I ran.

Had it been any other guy, I would've been happy for her, but this was Derek Novak. I watched him kill Eliza, drain her of every drop of blood in her body. No hesitation. No hint of shame. He preyed on her remorselessly. I didn't care what he did or whether or not there was still any hope of good in him. He didn't deserve my best friend. Sofia deserved far better than him.

And yet, it felt as if I were losing her to him.

As I sped through the corridors of our school, weaving past people waving at me and calling my name on my way to the football team's locker room, anger began to consume me as I thought of what I lost at The Shade. The island took everything away from me. I had to break it off with Tanya, because I couldn't even make out with her without thinking about Claudia. Even if I could, I doubt I would've even felt much of it. I barely had a sense of touch after what that vampire wench put me through.

By the time I reached the locker room, I was raging mad. Sofia and I were pretending that we could gain back what we lost. That was a lie. There was no going back to the life we had. Why can't you see that, Sofia?

"Hey, man. Coach has been looking for you," Connor, one of the guys in the team, approached. "You okay?"

I brushed past him and went straight to my locker.

"Ben!" another one of the guys hollered as I dialed my combination. "Heard you broke it off with Tanya. You don't mind if I start hitting on her, do you?"

I grunted in response as I pulled my locker open.

"Whatever. We all know he doesn't give a hoot about Tanya, dude. I think he's finally ready to move on to Rose Red. So Hudson..." Jed, one of the biggest guys on the team, leaned against the locker next to mine. "Are you finally going to man up and tap Sofia like you always planned on doing?"

The hollers and crude jokes that began to fill the room rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't know why it all got to me. Jokes about me not going after Sofia were standard fare inside the boys' locker room. This time, however, it just grated on my nerves.

As if I was not irritated enough already, Jed prattled on. "I hope Rose Red's worth your wait, Ben, but just one look at her... and you got to believe she'll make a good lay."

I began seeing red. I ground my teeth in a failed attempt to maintain self-control, but it was a lost cause. I slammed my locker door shut and faced Jed. "Don't talk about her that way." He didn't see it coming but Jed's face quickly got a violent introduction to my fist. Connor tried to intervene, so I punched him too.

They came at me and I didn't care if they were attacking me or simply trying to hold me back. I fought back, fully aware that it wasn't really the guys on the team I was fighting. Every time I threw a hit, it was at Claudia, at Derek and at every other bloodsucker at The Shade. I was. .h.i.tting them back for taking everything I held dear away from me.

By the end of the whole bout, I was bruised and b.l.o.o.d.y, and though I was burning up with anger inside, keenly aware of the pain and the desire for vengeance taking hold of me, my body was as numb as my soul was aware.

No matter how I got beat and cut up, my body could barely feel a thing.

CHAPTER 17: SOFIA.

"Sofia?"

Still in the library, I looked up to find one of the people I least expected to find there the football team's linebacker, Connor James. The first thing I immediately took notice of in the tall, dark senior was the fresh new shiner on his right cheek.

"Hey..." I muttered, not quite sure what to make of him approaching me. "What happened to you?" I pointed to his a.s.saulted cheek with my pen. I was absent-mindedly fiddling with it while I read the same paragraph in my book for the fifteenth time.

"This? It's nothing." He looked almost timid, a reaction I found strange. He was usually one of the loudest, most outgoing guys in our cla.s.s.

Is he blushing? I was beginning to find the encounter uncomfortable. Connor had barely spoken a word to me before. "Aren't you supposed to be at football practice with Ben? Did something happen?"

He twisted his body to one side, the expression on his face showing his discomfort. "That's kind of why I'm here... We had this epic battle at the locker room... Well, Ben's at the clinic. He got banged up pretty bad. Thought you might want to know."

What did you get yourself into, Ben? I urgently gathered up my belongings and stuffed them inside my bag. It'd been years since Ben got himself into a fight. It was way back in middle school, when one of the guys in cla.s.s a bully I always did my best to avoid tried to kiss me against my will. The bully came out of the fight with a few scratches and a broken nose. Ben, on the other hand, got for himself a broken arm and rib.

Of course, Ben found a way to milk his injuries for all they were worth and stir himself into becoming more popular than ever, but after all the sermons he got from Amelia, Ben never got into a fight again.

That's also when he started having martial arts lessons at the local gym. It didn't take long for him to drag me to the Sat.u.r.day lessons. I obliged him, because at that time, I never could say no to him, but it was how I realized that I was a pacifist at heart.

As I rushed through the school hallways, I couldn't help but smirk at how useless those cla.s.ses were to me. Certainly no use against vampires. Then again, I never actually had enough presence of mind to use what I learned against Derek or Lucas. Stopping in front of the clinic's door, I found myself bothered by the thought that I never actually fought back. As much as you chastised yourself to not become the victim, that's still what you were at The Shade.

I was disappointed and angry with myself when I twisted the k.n.o.b of the clinic door and pushed it open. I let out a gasp the moment I saw Ben. He had a large black, purple and blue bruise occupying nearly half of the left side of his face. He also had a deep gash lining the right side of his torso.

"Ben..." was all I could manage to say. It came out in a breathless whisper. I wanted to grab him by both shoulders and shake some sense into him. I made my way to his side and brushed my thumb over the line of his jaw.

"What the h.e.l.l were you thinking?" He refused to look me in the eye.

Our school doctor walked in and gave me a curt nod. "Miss Claremont, kindly step aside. This won't take long."

I got out of the doctor's way and watched as he dressed Ben's wound. "May I ask how you came upon this cut, Mr. Hudson?"

"Coach already told you, Doc. I got into a fight."

"And your teammates cut you?"

"No... One of them tackled me to the ground... don't even remember who... it was so crazy. I was trying to get away from him and my side rubbed against one of the benches. It's just a scratch. Barely even felt it."

Pacifist or not, I suddenly felt the urge to take the violent route and sock him in the jaw. The sight of his bare torso and the "scratch" he'd just added to all the scars that were already there was making my stomach churn.

"How did you ever get such ugly cuts?" The doctor stepped back after finishing up bandaging the gash on his side. He stared at Ben's body, his face marred with concern. "What happened during your absence, Ben?"

"I'll tell you the same thing I told the police and that other doctor who did my physical exam. I'd rather not talk about it." Ben even had the gall to add flourish to his statement by flashing his biggest smile. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his body. He got up from the clinic bed, made his way toward me and took my hand. "Come on, Sofia. Let's go home."

I wanted to pull away from him, but the last thing he needed was to be dragged into a fight with me. I forced a smile at the school doctor as we brushed past him. "Thank you, Doctor."

"Oh yeah..." Ben nodded the doctor's way. "Thanks, Doc."

We were out of the clinic and a good distance headed for the parking lot when I stopped walking and pulled at him to stop.

"What? Let's just go, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"Since when did you start getting into fights again, Ben?"

"What part of 'I don't want to talk about it' don't you understand, Sofia?"

I pursed my lips and nodded. I pulled my hand away from his grasp and began walking. "Let's go then." I didn't miss the wounded look on his face when I pa.s.sed by him.

We reached the black pickup his parents recently bought him. He had his eye on it since summer and apparently, Lyle and Amelia thought that the best time to get it for him was a week after we got back from Mexico.

Ben tossed me the keys. "You drive."

I got in the driver's seat and started the car. I was already backing up when Ben asked a long overdue question.

"Why did you come back with me? Why did you choose me over him?"

"Since when was the choice between you and Derek?"

I flinched when he hit the glove compartment in frustration. "Can you really be so dense, Sofia?"

First I'm naive. Now I'm dense. Great. "I came back because it was the sensible thing to do. You have no idea what I went through in there, Ben. There wasn't a day that pa.s.sed by that I didn't think of escaping. Heck... I even tried as soon as I got the chance."

"You tried to escape?"

"Yes I thought I already told you that. I got as far as the wall lining the island before two vampire guards caught me."

"What happened?"

"They were going to kill me. One of them was already licking one of my scratches when Derek showed up." I could sense Ben tense at the mention of Derek, but I decided to ignore him. This was my story to tell and it was he who opened up this can of worms. Suck it up, Ben. "He asked who had a taste of my blood. One guard admitted to it. Derek ripped the vampire's heart out and let the other one go."

"And you still don't think he's a murderer?"

"I'm not saying what he did was right, but he did what he thought was necessary to protect me. Once a vampire gets a taste of a human's blood, they will crave that particular human. Derek knew that as long as I was around, the guard would have an urge to hunt me."

"Then why didn't he do the same thing to his brother? Lucas fed on you, didn't he?"

"He was going to." I recalled the look in both brothers' eyes that night. I knew that Derek was more than willing to end Lucas' life. I also knew that he would never be able to forgive himself for doing it. "I stopped him."

"You what? Sofia, why? If I could be given the chance to end Claudia's life, I wouldn't hesitate to do it and I wouldn't feel an ounce of guilt about it either."

"Lucas is still Derek's brother. That means something to Derek... Family means something to him."

At that, Ben grew silent. He knew what family meant to me and why I would respect Derek for valuing family. I stopped at a red light and rubbed my neck with my palm, trying to ease my own tension.

"Derek... did he ever..." he hesitated.

"No. He never fed on me. He never had his way with me." I was relieved when the red light went green again. The sooner we get home, the sooner this conversation is over. "And for the record, my choice to leave the Shade wasn't about you or him. It was about me. I didn't want to live my life as a slave Derek's or otherwise. That wasn't a future I wanted for myself. I left the island because I knew that I could carve a better future for myself out here than back there."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know..."

"That's because you never asked, Ben."

For the rest of the ride home, both of us remained silent. When we reached the Hudsons' driveway and I finished parking, we lingered inside the pickup, both of us hating the strain between us.

"I feel like I'm losing you, Sofia."

I didn't know what to say to that. It sparked the memories of all those times that I wanted him to want me, of times I daydreamed of being in his arms, of becoming his girl. Is it possible that he actually felt something for me all this time?

Consumed by the silence, I took hold of his hand and squeezed tightly. "I'm right here." For now. I hoped it was enough to a.s.sure him that he hadn't lost me yet.

Our fingers intertwined and then his lips were on mine. Gentle. Chaste. Sweet. Numb. I was too surprised to respond and the kiss came to a quick end. Our eyes met for a split second before we both fumbled out of the vehicle and made our way to the door.

Amelia's mouth dropped open when she saw her son. "Ben... what happened?"

"It's nothing, mom..."

Amelia looked at me questioningly, almost as if she were blaming me for the cuts and bruises he received. We entered the house and I let Ben explain to his mother what happened. He was in the middle of telling her that either she or Lyle had to go to school and speak to the guidance counselor with him tomorrow, when I decided to retire to my room. I wondered where Lyle and Abby were and remembered that she had a play date. Lyle probably went to pick her up.

I was exhausted more in an emotional sense than a physical one. I collapsed on the bed. My phone began vibrating within my bag. I fished for it and found a text message from an unknown number. The message read: For the record, Ben was fighting for you. Connor I wondered if Ben put him up to sending the text. Either way, I was intrigued. Fighting for me? I found it confusing that Ben would suddenly in a span of one day show that kind of interest in me when he never looked at me as more than a friend for so long. Is he just doing this to get me to join him in his quest for revenge?

I opened my closet for a change of clothes. I'd just finished slipping on a red tank top and b.u.t.toning up my shorts when Ben knocked twice and opened my door.

When he stepped inside, I was taken aback by the look he was giving me.

"Ben?"

As soon as I spoke his name, he held my waist and pulled me against him. He kissed me fully this time. I shivered as I responded with gusto.

It wasn't void of pa.s.sion and no one could ever accuse Ben of not being a good kisser. He was a great kisser in fact not that I had many others to compare him with. Still, kissing him was just as I always imagined it to be. Except for one thing. I couldn't feel a thing. It was void of any substantial emotion. In fact, the whole time our lips were pressing against each other, the one emotion that stood above all was the now familiar ache I felt whenever I came face-to-face with the truth of how much I missed Derek.

CHAPTER 18: DEREK.

I sat in stunned silence as Eli Lazaroff began reporting the results of the census to everyone present at the dome. Apart from the fact that the census gave me a staggeringly clear picture of the state of the kingdom, I remained quiet because I found Vivienne's presence and Lucas' absence upsetting. Vivienne's words were still ringing in my ears and Lucas was always the constant reminder of how I lost Sofia.

Eli started with the number of the Elite. "We now number a hundred and ten." He then began listing off the breakdown of each vampire clan and where each of the hundred and ten belonged.

Each clan didn't necessarily consist of blood relatives. New members were added to a clan when a new vampire was "sired" by one of the other members of the clan.

When I went to sleep, only sixty-five vampires including me composed the Elite. The number Eli mentioned meant that through the centuries, forty-five humans were turned into vampires. As far as I was concerned, that was a staggeringly great number. The largest vampire clan was that of the Vaughns, with Xavier as head of the clan and their representative at the council. Their clan numbered fifteen. On the other hand, the smallest clan was that of Claudia's. Her clan only had one member herself.

After his report on the Elite, Eli moved on to talking about the Lodgers. The Lodgers were vampire clans who didn't belong to the original twenty clans. They were composed of those who swore fealty to The Shade in exchange for the security of becoming one of the island's citizens. The number Eli uttered made my mind reel. "One thousand three hundred and twenty six."

"What?!" I exclaimed, unable to keep myself from reacting. "We didn't even have three hundred when I went to sleep."