87th Precinct - The Frumious Bandersnatch - Part 21
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Part 21

A: Well, not alone. He wasnat working alone. I gave him all the information about the launch, and he told me he thought he could do it with just three people. Himself and two other people.

Q: Who were these two other people?

A: I have no idea.

Q: Do the namesaexcuse me. Steve, what were those names again?

A: (from Detective Carella) Calvin Wilkins and Kellie Something, we donat have a last name for her.

Q: Do those names mean anything to you, Mr. Loomis?

A: Nothing at all.

Q: So the only person you dealt with was Avery Hanes.

A: Yes.

Q: Was the kidnapping his idea?

A: Well, it sort of evolved.

Q: How do you mean?

A: From talks we had. We discussed all sorts of approaches, heas really a quite brilliant young man. Primarily, I was concerned with how to make the debut alb.u.m a success. I had such faith in Tamar, I wanted so much for her to make it in a big waya Avery didnat care how he spent my money, of course, well, you know how young people are, nothingas impossible to them. All these big ideas about ma.s.sive in-store promos, and TV ads, and subway posters, and ads on the sides of busses, ten cities, twenty cities, a hundred cities! He was talking about millions in advertising and promotion alone, a prohibitive approach, really, on top of everything else wead be doing.

At first, we met in my office. Head come up on his lunch hour, and wead discuss his ideas. I like to encourage young people, Iam very good with young people. And he was soaenthusiastic,do you know? One day, he said something about five minutes of fame, fifteen minutes of fame, whatever it was, Andy Warholas famous saying. He said if only we could do something that could give Tamar just those fifteen minutes of fame, was what it was, then the rest would follow. Like if she broke her leg onstage during a concerta aBut she wonat be doing any concerts till after the alb.u.m release,a I told him.

aOr got hit by a busaa he said.

aOh sure, hit by a bus.a aDo you remember when this writer Ira Levin wrote a book calledA Kiss Before Dying, where the last chapter is this girl gets pushed off the roof? Well, right after the book was published this girl in real life fell off a roof someplace in New York, and she had a copy of the G.o.dd.a.m.nbook in her pocket! Something like that, you know?a aSure, weall push Tamar off the roof.a aCome on, Barneyaa He was calling me Barney by then.

aaIam talking about something spectacular. Something that will make headlines.a aLike what?a aLike she gets smacked around by some goon in a discoaa aNo, no.a aaor somebodyas stalking heraa aThat wonat make headlines.a aaor she gets kidnapped or something,a Avery said, and we both looked at each other.

Thereas that moment, you know?

Thereas that moment when you realize this is it.

Avery suggested fifty thousand dollars as the ransom, but I said wead never find anyone to do it for that kind of money, so he said, aOkay a hundred, how does that sound?a and I said that still sounded too low, one minute heas talking about spending ten million dollars in as many cities, and now heas down to a hundred grand! I told him that would sound phony as h.e.l.l, and besides, no one would risk a kidnapping for a lousy hundred thousand dollars! So we batted it back and forth until we hit on two-fifty, which was, after all, a quarter of a million dollars, a not unreasonable asking price for someone who was not yet a star.

I donat think he was playing me, do you think he was playing me? I mean, I donat think he knew all along that he was the one whoad be doing the actual kidnapping, I donat think he was bargaining for a higher fee. There was an innocence about Averyawell, he double-crossed me later on. But at the time, I think he genuinely was just so enthusiastic about the idea, justinto it, you know, working with me to find what would sound like a reasonable ransom demand, not too low, not too high, two hundred and fifty thousand dollars had just the rightring to it, the way the whole idea seemed absolutelyright.

But then we faced the reality.

Never mind the fifteen minutes of fame. Who were we going to find whoad risk getting caught doing something as serious as a kidnapping? And who could we trust to keep quietif they got caught? Who could we trust not to say that Barney Loomis of Bison Records had engineered the kidnapping of his own young recording artist?

aYou could trustme, a Avery said.

I looked at him.

aIad do it,a he said.

Q: When did you hatch this brilliant scheme?

Little touch of sarcasm there, Carella thought. Be careful, Nellie. Heall spook and tell you to go to h.e.l.l, no more questions.

Q: Mr. Loomis? When did you and Mr. Hanes decide that he would be the one to carry out the kidnapping scheme?

A: It must have been in March sometime. We set everything in motion in March. That was when he found the house at the beacha Q: The house at the beach?

A: South Beach. He rented a house there. To take Tamar to. He had his team together by then, he told me they were both experienced people, it should go off without a hitch. As a matter of fact, it did. Though I have to tell you I could havekilled whoever that was with him on the night of the launch, when he slapped Tamara Q: The name Calvin Wilkins still doesnat mean anything to you, is that correct?

A: I never heard of him.

Q: And the first name Kellie?

A: No. Whoever it was, the deal was n.o.body lays a finger on her, Avery knew that. Keep her for forty-eight hours, collect the ransoma"which was really his fee for his role in all thisa"and then let her go safe and sound. That was the deal. He knew all the details of the launch party, Iad provided him with those, he even had a floor plan of theRiver Princess. It was frightening as h.e.l.l when they came down those stairs, wasnat it? Did you see the Channel Four tape? It looked real as h.e.l.l, didnat it?

Q: Itwas real, Mr. Loomis.

A: Well, certainly. To the observer, itlooked real, especially when that idiot hit Tamaras partner with the rifle and then slapped her, I couldave killed him. But it was allfake, you see, it was all a hoax, you see. We kept reminding ourselves of that all the time we were planning it. Itas a hoax, stupid, itas a hoax.

Q: Yes, but it was real.

A: It only became real when he double-crossed me. Asked for a million instead of the two-fifty wead agreed upon. Well, sure, he saw what was happening, Iam sure he was glued to that television screen day and night. Tamar had her fifteen minutes of fame, all right, in spades. It worked, you see! She was a diva overnight!

aA dead one,a Nellie said.

And Loomis buried his face in his hands and began sobbing again.

15.

BERT KLINGfelt uncomfortable because the comic was telling jokes about black people. Even holding hands with Sharyn Cooke, even sitting at a table with her and Artie Brown and his wife, Kling felt uncomfortable. Maybe that was because he was the only white man in the place.

This was a black comedy club uptown in Diamondback, highly recommended by Brown, seconded as a good idea by Sharyn, who now seemed to be enjoying the black comicas interpretation of an addict hitting on his mother for money.

aLike this is the first time the poor woman has heard this hard luck story, you know whut Iam sayin?a the comic asked. aMama, I just needs a lial bread to tide me over till mornin, Mama, Iall pay you back then, I swear on Grandmaas grave, may she rest in peace.a Laughter.

Even from Artie Brown, whoad dealt with a few addicts in his lifetime.

aSame tale he tell her ever time he strung out,a the comic said. aHe Mama sapose to believe it now. He goan take that money, friens, and shoot it in his arm or sniff it up his nose. He Mama know that! Yaknow whut she should give him? A swiff kick in thebee -hine!a Applause now.

aNow whutas all this fuss about this Tamar whutever her name is, some La-tino name? Ainat she never dance with a black man before? She got to know, you dance with a black man, he goan rape you. Now thatas it, man. He just goan get all woody in his pants, and he goan rape you. How many of you ladies here has danced with a black man dinat get all woody on you? Am I right? You know whut Iam sayin, ladies, donachoo?a Everybody laughed again.

Kling was not laughing.

Sharyn looked at him.

aWhat?a she said.

aNothing,a he said.

aNo, what?a she asked again, and squeezed his hand.

He shook his head.

She looked into his eyes.

aReally,a he said. aNothing.a But she knew him.

And it was something.

THEY HAD BEENsitting in Ollieas car, listening to music and discussing the movie, which he couldnat get over.

aIt was so helpful to an emerging artist like myself,a he told Patricia. aCharacter,a he said. aWhoad have thought a person had to worry about character? With all the other things that burden a writer?a aIam so glad you enjoyed it,a she said. aI was so afraid you might not.a aHey, just being with you would have been enough,a he said.

They were both silent for a moment.

It was now almost midnight, and the rain had let up, so Patricia suggested that maybe they should call it a night. Ollie got out of the car, and came around to her side to let her out. The rain had driven all the neighborhood gangstas inside, so he didnat have to flash the Glock. He took her inside her building, and they waited for the elevator together. They both had to report for work at a quarter to eight, but neither of them seemed aware of the late hour.

When the elevator came, Ollie put out his arm to hold the doors open for her.

aGoodnight, Oll,a she said, aI had a wonderful time.a aSo did I, Patricia.a aMay I take you to dinner this Sat.u.r.day night?a she asked.

He looked at her.

aWell, you said I should invite you.a aAh yes,a Ollie said, doing his world-famous W. C. Fields imitation. aI would be delighted, malittle chickadee.a aWell good then,a she said, and raised herself on tip-toes and kissed him on the mouth.

Smiling, she stepped into the elevator.

She waggled her fingers at him as the doors closed.

She was still smiling.

In the softly falling drizzle, Ollie walked back to his car. Sitting behind the wheel, he closed the door against the rain, and put the key into the ignition.

Then, for some reason he could not quite understand, he put his head on the steering wheel and began weeping.

aI KNOW ITaS LATE,a Hawes said into the telephone.

aWhat time is it, anyway?a He looked up at the squadroom clock.

aAlmost twelve-thirty,a he said. aBut we just wrapped up here, andaa aAnything I should know?a aWell, I donat know whoas going to release this, us or the Feebs.a aYou cracked it,a Honey said.

aWellaa aCome on over,a she said. aWeall discuss it here.a aItas not too late?a aI donat have to be in till six tomorrow night.a aMe, neither,a Hawes said. aQuarter to eight, in fact. Should I come over?a aSure,a she said. aThis might turn into a scoop.a aIt very well might.a a aBoy Detective Cracks Kidnapping Case.a a He visualized her spreading her free hand on the air.

aSoauhashould I come over?a he asked.

aMust be an echo in this place,a she said.

aAre you hungry?a aAre you?a aShall I bring some sandwiches?a aIf you like.a aIall see you soon.a aIam here,a she said, and hung up.

TEDDY WAS AWAKEwhen Carella got home at almost two in the morning. She turned on the bedside lamp, and then opened her arms to him, and he went to her and kissed her, and held her a moment longer before he began undressing. Looking at his face, she knew there was something. Everything this man felt showed on his face. She waited until he was in bed beside her, and then she signedWhat is it?

aHe thought I was the weakest link,a Carella said. She was watching his lips. He saw on her face that she hadnat caught it all. Everything this woman felt showed on her face. This time, he signed it.

He thought I was the weakest link.

Who did?she signed.

aBarney Loomis,a he said, signing and speaking simultaneously.

I donat know what you mean.

aHe asked for me on the case because he thought Iad never in a million years tip to what was going on. He couldnat trust The Squad to be foolsaa The Squad?

aThe Joint Task Force. So he picked the weakest link. Me. Detective Steve Carella. His insurance policy. To make sure they got away clean.a Does this mean you cracked it?

aIt means we cracked it.a Then Mr. Loomis made a mistake, didnat he?

aI guess he made a big mistake,a Carella said, and took her in his arms. aRight from minute one.a What time do you have to be in tomorrow?she signed.

About the Author.

Ed McBain is the first American to receive the Diamond Dagger, the British Crime Writers a.s.sociationas highest award. He also holds the Mystery Writers of Americaas prestigious Grand Master Award. His most recent 87thPrecinct novel wasFat Ollieas Book. Under his own namea"Evan Huntera"he has enjoyed a writing career that has spanned five decades, from his first novel,The Blackboard Jungle, in 1954, to the screenplay for Alfred Hitch-c.o.c.kasThe Birds, toCandyland, written in tandem with his alter ego, Ed McBain, toThe Moment She Was Gone, pubjlished in 2002.