87th Precinct - The Frumious Bandersnatch - Part 14
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Part 14

Into the phone, Carella said, aThe place is overrun with rats. Tell me what you want us to do, okay?a aGo up to the first floor. Apartment 14. The numerals are still on the door.a aAre you walking us into a trap?a Carella asked.

aYouave got a gun in your hand,a Avery reminded him.

They started up the steps, Carella in the lead. The hand railing was gone. They braced themselves against the opposite wall. The building stank of garbage and human waste. Loomis covered his nose with a handkerchief. Carella felt like wretching. A single unboarded window on the first-floor landing cast uncertain light into the hallway. Apartment 14 was the fourth door down the hall.

aWeare here,a Carella said into the phone.

aGo inside.a They went into the apartment. They were standing in the middle of a small kitchen. There were still boards on the only window in the room. In the semi-darkness, they heard the scurrying of more rats.

A dead Golden Retriever lay on the floor in front of a gas range that had been disconnected and overturned.

It looked as if the dogas throat had been recently slit.

Flies were still buzzing around the open wound.

aDo you see the dog?a Avery asked.

aYes?a aThatas what weall do to the girl if there are any tricks.a Carella said nothing.

aSee the refrigerator?a Avery asked.

aYes?a aOpen the door, Steve.a Carella opened the door.

aThe fridge doesnat work, Steve,a Avery said. aNo electricity in the building. I hope you didnat bring us hot money.a He sounded almost jovial now. Big joke here, the son of a b.i.t.c.h. Slits a dogas throat, rats running all over the place, he jokes about hot money.

aWhat do you want me to do here?a Carella asked.

aYou sound peeved, Steve.a Carella said nothing.

aYou didnat answer my question.a aWhat did you ask?a aIs the money hot?a aNo.a aI certainly hope itas not marked or anything.a aItas not marked.a aBecause I wouldnat want anything to happen to the girl.a aItas not marked. Just tell me what you want me to do, okay?a aWhatas he saying?a Loomis asked.

Carella shook his head.

aPut the dispatch case on one of the shelves, Steve.a Carella slid the case onto the shelf under the ice cube compartment.

aNow close the door and hang up. When youare outside the building, Iall call again.a Carella closed the refrigerator door, and hit the END b.u.t.ton.

aLetas go,a he told Loomis.

They stepped out into the hallway again. Everywhere around them, there was the sound of chittering little creatures in the near-dark, glittering little eyes suddenly disappearing as the rats turned and ran off. He remembered being a rookie, remembered other cops telling him about babies in their cribs getting their faces chewed to ribbons by rats. Moving slowly and cautiously, he sc.r.a.ped his feet along the floor, feeling his way toward the stairwell.

aHere it is,a he told Loomis.

With his right hand, he felt for the wall again. With his left foot, he reached out for the first stair tread, afraid he would step on a rat. Behind him, Loomis said, aHeas gone too far. Whyad he kill that dog?a aTo show us heas serious,a Carella said.

aThat wasnat the deal.a aHe wanted me along to bear witness. So Iad go back and tell the others heas serious about killing the girl.a aWe already knew that. He alreadytold us that.a aShow is better than tell, Mr. Loomis.a aThat wasnat the deal,a Loomis said again, sounding very much like a petulant child. an.o.body gets hurt, that was the deal. He didnat have to kill the G.o.dd.a.m.n dog.a They came down the stairs and out of the building. Both men blinked against the sunlight.

aDo you think theyare holding her in one of these buildings?a Loomis asked.

aI hope not,a Carella said.

The phone rang immediately.

ah.e.l.lo?a Carella said.

aThis is what I want you and Mr. Loomis to do,a Avery said. aAre you listening?a aIam listening.a aWalk back to the car. Put the phone to your ear again when you get there.a The two men walked back to the limo. Carella put the phone to his ear again.

aWeare here,a he said.

aI see you,a Avery said. aJust stand right where you are. Iall call you again when we have the case. You can hang up now.a Carella hit the END b.u.t.ton.

THEY CAME DOWNfrom the seventh floor of the building at 5107 Ambrose, from which theyad been watching the action across the street at 837 South 185th. Hidden by the building itself, they crossed the empty lot behind it, and entered 837 through the rear door. They were both carrying the AK-47s theyad used on the boat gig two nights ago, but this time Calas rifle was fitted with a scope. On the first floor of the building, he told Avery he felt like shooting himself some rats. Avery told him to resist the urge.

They found the black dispatch case in the refrigerator, right where Carella had left it. Cal threw the beam of a flashlight on it, and Avery unclasped it. There was no time to count the money right now, but those looked like a whole lot of nice brand-new hundred-dollar bills in there.

They went downstairs and out the back door again. This time, they crossed the lot to where theyad parked the stolen Montana behind a twelve-story building on La.s.ser. Carella and Loomis may have heard them starting the car, but it wouldnat matter, anyway. The girl was their insurance. n.o.body was going to do anything stupid while they had the girl.

They didnat call again until almost an hour later. By that time, theyad dumped all the cell phones theyad used since three this afternoon. It was now close to five-thirty, and Avery was using yet another stolen phone when he called from the house out on Sands Spit.

Barney Loomis answered on the second ring.

ah.e.l.lo?a he said.

aYou can go back to your office now,a Avery said. aWeall call you again after weave counted the money. If itas all here, youall get the girl back tonight. I promise.a aWhere will youa?a Loomis started, but Avery had already hung up.

10.

TAMAR GUESSEDshe should have felt honored.

This was just like a summit meeting.

Yasir Arafat was smiling. So were Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush. All three of them were smilinga"or at least their eyes werea"but only Arafat was talking. Tamar figured he was the leader of the gang, the one whoad told her his eyes were brown. She could still see that his smiling eyes were brown. He was the same dude, all right.

aWe have the money,a he told her. aEverything went off without a hitch.a No wonder he was smiling.

The other two nodded in agreement. They were still smiling. George Bush had nice t.i.ts; Tamar wondered which one she was sleeping with.

aIam telling you all this,a Arafat said, abecause I want to warn you again not to do anything stupid.a Do anything stupid! She was still handcuffed to the radiator!

aWeare going to count the money now. If itas all here, weall drop you off someplace, and youall be home before you can spell your last name,a he said, and she wondered if that was an ethnic slur.

aOkay, fine,a she said. aThank you,a she added.

For nothing, she thought.

aSo be a good girl, honey,a Hussein said, smiling, and all three jacka.s.ses went out of the room.

She heard the lock clicking shut behind them.

OLLIE STOPPEDfor a snack after he was relieved at a quarter to five, and then walked crosstown to his piano teacheras apartment, right here in the Eight-Eight. He had called her early Sunday morning to ask if she could get him the sheet music to Al Martinoas aSpanish Eyesaa aNot the one the Backstreet Boys did,a he cautioned.

aand she had promised she would try. Now, at seven minutes to six on this Monday night, the fifth of May, Ollie climbed the steps to the fifth floor and rapped on the door to apartment 53. He was glad he couldnat hear the sound of a piano inside. This meant her previous student had already left. Helen Hobsonas apartment was tiny, and if she was still giving a lesson when he arrived, he had to wait outside in the hall.

She was smiling when she opened the door for him. A woman in her late fifties, rail thin and wearing her habitual green cardigan sweater over a brown woolen skirt, she said, aWell, Detective Weeks, youare right on time this evening.a aAlways a pleasure to come here,a Ollie said, which was the truth.

aCome in, come in,a Helen said, and stepped aside to let him by.

The grand piano always came as a surprise in this small apartment. Walking toward it behind his teacher, Ollie always felt as if he was being led onstage at Clarendon Hall. Sitting beside her on the piano bench, he always felt as if he was about to begin playing a duet with Arthur Rubenstein or Glenn Gould or one of those guys.

aWell, I got it,a Helen said, turning to him and beaming.

For a moment, Ollie was puzzled. Then he realizeda a aSpanishEyes a?a he asked, his own eyes brightening.

aYes, indeed. I tried half a dozen different stores before I found it at Lennyas Music, all the way downtown. I was about ready to give up, Mr. Weeks, I must tell you.a aIam glad you didnat,a Ollie said.

aOh, so am I. Itas a lovely song.a aYou played it?a aThe moment I came home. Itas truly lovely. Andso romantic,a she said. aWhat made you decide to learn this particular song?a aWell, like you say, itas very romanticaa aOh yes.a aAnd uh truly lovely,a he said.

aIndeed. So what shall we do first? Would you like to play what youave been practicing, or would you like to bust your chops on the new one, as they say?a aWhy donat we just bust my chops?a Ollie said, grinning.

aVery well,a Helen said, and turned to the piano.

aSpanish Eyesa had a picture of Al Martino on its glossy front cover. With a flourish, Helen threw the cover back to reveal the actual sheet music.

Ollie was looking at a whole h.e.l.l of a lot of notes.

aGee,a he said, aI dunno.a aOh come now,a Helen said. aIs this the man who mastered aNight and Daya?a aYeah, butaa aPut your hands on the keyboard, Mr. Weeks,a she suggested. aPlease note that this is written in the key ofaa THEY LEFT THEmasks on because being Arafat and Hussein and Bush made them feel like big shots. Sitting at the kitchen table, the television set going in the other room, they kept reaching for banded bundles of money in the dispatch case, counting each bundle and writing down their separate tallies. Each bundle had twenty hundred-dollar bills in it. That came to $2,000 a bundle. Altogether, there were a hundred and twenty-five packets in that dispatch case. That didnat seem like very much, but thatas what $250,000 in hundred-dollar bills looked like.

While they counted, they started talking about what they were going to do with all that money, even though it didnat seem like all that much now that it was actually here in front of them.

Yasir Arafat said he was going to use his $83,333 dollars to hire 833 suicide bombers at a hundred bucks a pop to go blow up restaurants and school busses and dance halls and the like all over Israel. Avery thought he was merely speaking in character, but Kellie figured he was probably anti-Semitic.

Saddam Hussein picked up the cue and said he was going to use his share of the money to purchase intercontinental ballistic missiles to shoot at ayour father,a he told Kellie, aget the job done right this time.a George W. Bush said she would spend her share of the money on a pair of strappy Prada pumps.

aThatas not in character,a Avery told her.

aTheyall be in character if I wear them with an Armani dress,a she said.

aYouare supposed to be Bush,a he said.

aWhoever,a she said, and shrugged airily. All this money was making her a bit light-headed. Though, to tell the truth, it didnat look like so very much, fitting in the dispatch case that way.

They kept counting it.

In the other room, the six oaclock news was coming on.

The lead story was about Tamar Valparaisoas kidnapping. This immediately caught their complete attention. They got up from the kitchen table at once and en ma.s.se. Leaving all that money behinda"though now that they were used to it, it didnat seem like all that much, reallya"they went into the living room and plopped down on the sofa as if theyad just got home from school, three kids who bore unfortunate resemblances to Bush, Arafat, and Hussein. The real Bush, Arafat, and Hussein were probably watching CNN themselves at that very same moment, though probably not wearing masks. And they probably were not as interested in Tamar Valparaiso.

The anchorman was saying there were no clues as yet to the whereabouts of the kidnapped rock star.

When they heard the word astar,a all three world leaders turned to look at each other, each of them realizing that Tamar hadnat been a star before theyad kidnapped her.

The anchor was saying that neither the police nor the FBI would ascertain whether or not a ransom demand had yet been made.

aGood,a Arafat said.

This was Avery Hanes, in case Kellie or Cal had forgotten.

The anchorman said, aMeanwhile, Billboard 200 reports thatBanders.n.a.t.c.h, the divaas controversial alb.u.maa aaDiva,adid you hear that?a Hussein said.

aShhhh,a Bush warned.

aathe number-one position, having sold 750,000 copies since its debut this past Friday. This places it higher on the charts than Avril Lavigneas new alb.u.m at number four, the Dixie Chicks at number six, and Xzibit in the number-eight slot.a The anchorman took a breath.

aIn Israel this morning, another suicide bomberaa Avery got up to turn off the television set. He pulled off his mask in the next instant. Kellie and Cal, taking this as their cue, removed their masks as well. They all looked very serious all at once.

aSheas a f.u.c.kin star,a Cal said.

aI told her ten million,a Kellie said.

aWhat?a Cal asked, looking at her as if he wished she would speak English every now and then.

aI told her it would sell ten million copies,a Kellie explained. aHer alb.u.m.a aWell, it only sold 750,000,a Cal said, still looking angry.

aOnly enough for number one,a Avery said.

aShe told me we shouldave asked for a million bucks,a Kellie said.

The men looked at her.

aBut that was when I said shead sell ten million.a The men were still looking at her.

WHEN THE TELEPHONEin Barney Loomisa office rang at six-fifteen that night, Special Agent Jones was down the hall taking a pee. Endicott put on his ear phones, said to Carella, aWanna give a listen?a and waited while Carella put on the phones Jones had left behind. Endicott nodded to Loomis. Loomis picked up.

ah.e.l.lo?a he said.

aMr. Loomis?a aYes?a aMr. Loomis,a Avery said, aweave counted all the moneyaa aYes, when can we pick upaa aaand aside from the question of whether theyare marked or notaa aTheyare not marked. I promise you theyareaa aathereas the minor matter of the count being short.a aFirst tower on it.a aShort?a aYes, Mr. Loomis.a aYou saidaa aI said a million dollars, Mr. Loomis. Youare short byaa aNo, you saidaa aaseven hundred and fifty large. Now I donat know what youareaa aJust a minute, you never saidaa aatrying to pull here, but I thought the girlas safety was paramount.a aSecond toweras got him.a aYou never said a million dollars!a Loomis yelled into the phone. aYou told me two-fifty, and thatas what Iaa aWhateverI told you, itas a million now!a Avery said, yelling himself now. aGet the rest of it by three tomorrow afternoon. Iall call again then. Have a nice night,a he said, and hung up.

aListenaa Loomis started, but he was gone.

He looked blankly at the phone receiver, put it back on its cradle, looked at the detectives and the FBI agents and said almost plaintively, aWe had a deal. We agreed it would be two-fifty. He knew that. This isnat fair.a aShouldave let us do it our way,a Corcoran said.