*What? Say something?'

*Can't be part of this backward conversation,' she said. *Please, discuss your woes with the Punjabi brethren.'

She stood up to leave. I tugged her down by her hand. *C'mon Ananya, aren't your parents going to flip out when they find out you have a Punjabi boyfriend?'

*No, I don't think so.'

*Have you told them?'

*No.'

*Why?'

*Waiting for the appropriate time. The convocation is in two weeks. They'll be here, I will introduce you. Tell them what you have done in life, not where your ancestors were born. They can meet your parents. They are coming, right?'

*My mother, yes. Father, I don't know.'

*What's the deal?'

*Let's not talk about it.'

*You won't tell your future wife? Have you invited him?'

*No.'

She stood up, I followed suit. *Let's go to the STD booth,' she said.

*Now?'

*This strong and silent warfare between you and your dad is becoming too much.'

*It's peak hour rates.'

*I don't care.'

We walked to the STD booth near Vijay Char Rasta. I called home. *Hi, mom, it is me.'

*Krish, we should book tickets. I am coming, Shipra masi wants to come, Rajji mama and Kamla aunty, too.'

*Mom, is dad coming?'

*No,' she said and fell silent.

*It's my convocation,' I said.

*He said he has work.'

*He's retired. What work?' the meter rode up twenty rupees.

*You talk to him, he expects a personal invitation,' my mother said.

*I won't. Doesn't he want to come by himself?'

*No, why don't you ask him to?' She prepared to put me on hold.

*Mom, no. I don't want to call him if he doesn't want to come.'

*Fine. Can masi and mama come?'

*Don't get any relatives,' I pleaded.

*Why? They love you so much. They want to see you....'

*I want you to meet someone, mom.'

*Who?'

*You'll find out,' I said.

I came out of the booth. Ananya and I walked back. Which father needs an invitation from his son to attend his convocation? Screw him,I said to myself.

*You invited him?' Ananya asked.

*Dad's not coming,' I said.

*Why?'

*We have no relationship, Ananya. Don't try to fix it ever. OK?'

*What happened though?'

*I don't want to talk about it.'

*Standard answer.'

*Yours was a standard question.'

*You do care for him. You are upset.'

*I'm upset about paying peak hour rates. Now listen, I've fended off my aunts with great difficulty. It's only my mom. You have a plan, right?'

She skipped ahead of me. *Let's make it a great first meeting of the families.

We should do something fun together.'

*Like shoot each other?'

*Shut up. It'll be fine. They'd love it that my boyfriend is from IIT.'

*They won't ask my grades, right?'

*They might. But who cares, you will be in Citibank. Listen, we organize an outing for them?'

*I am not so sure if our families would like to spend so much time together.'

*Of course, they would. You leave it to me. Your mom will love me more than you after this,' she said as we reached the campus gates.

I received my mother at the Ahmedabad railway station a day before the convocation. Ananya's parents flew down, her father using his LTC that allowed him to fly once every four years. My mother arrived with two suitcases. One had her clothes and the other contained mithai boxes sourced from various shops in Delhi.

*I'm in college for five more days. Why so many sweets?' I asked in the auto back to campus.

*We will eat them, no? And we might meet people. They will say her son is graduating and she has nothing to offer us. I almost brought packed meals. I don't want to eat the Gujarati daal with sugar. Is it really sweet?'

*It's not that sweet. Anyway, I want you to meet someone, mom,' I said as the auto struggled to penetrate the narrow lanes near the railway station.

*Who?'

*There's this girl,' I said.

*You have a Girlfriend? Girlfriend?' she asked as if I had contacted AIDS.

*A good friend,' I said to calm her down.

*Good friend? What, you have bad friends also?'

*No, mom. We used to study together. We did a lot of projects together.'

*OK. Did she get a job?'

*Yes, in HLL. It's a good job.'

*HLL?'

*The company that makes Surf. And Rin and Lifebuoy and Kissan Sauce.' I named products, hoping that one of them would impress her.

*Kissan Jams also?' she asked after thinking for thirty seconds.

*Yes. She is in marketing. It's the most prestigious marketing job.'

*She will get free jams then?'

*I guess,' I said, wondering how to bring the conversation back on track. *But that's not the point.'

*Yes, it's not. So, should we stop for lunch before we go to your college or do we eat in college? Bhaiya, any good restaurants here?' she addressed the auto driver.

*Mom, stop. I am talking about something important.'

But my mother said, *These auto drivers always know good places.'

*Stopping is extra, madam,' the auto driver said, ignoring me along with every speed-breaker on the road.

*What?' my mother said as I continued to stare at her to get her attention.

*Her name is Ananya. Her parents are also here. I want you to meet them and be nice to them.'

*I will meet whoever you want me to meet. And when am I not nice? We are nice people only.'

*Mom.....' I said before she interrupted me.

*Let's take some Nice biscuits on the way. They are good with tea.'

*Mom,' I screamed. *This is what I don't want. I want you to meet them properly and not obsess about meals or snacks or tea or whatever. They should have a good impression.'

My mother gave me a dirty look. I didn't respond.

*Bhaiya, turn the auto. I am going back,' my mother said. *One, I come all the way from Delhi to attend your convocation, get mithai from four different shops, and now I can't make a good impression. It's OK, if we can't make a good impression then we won't come.'

My mother kept mumbling to herself. She had officially entered her drama mode. The driver stopped the auto.

*What? Why have you stopped?' I asked, exasperated.

*Madam is telling me to turn back.'

*Mom,' I said as she continued to sulk.

*So, you remember I am your mother? I thought you only cared about your friend's parents?'

Anger filled my mother's voice. I had to take emergency measures.

*There is an excellent pao-bhaji place round the corner. Bhaiya, just take us to Law Garden.'

*I'm not hungry,' my mother said.

*Only for tasting,' I said. I tapped the auto driver on his shoulder. The driver turned towards Law Garden.

I ordered paneer pao-bhaji with extra butter and lassi on the side. Nothing soothes an upset Punjabi like dairy products.

*Who is this girl?' she asked after finishing the lassi.