*So, there is Rajji mama, Lappa mama, Shipra masi and your mother a in that order, right?' Ananya said.

*Yes, and since my mother is the youngest, she needs validation from all of them to do anything in life,' I said.

*Fine, let me understand first. Minti and Rohan are Rajji mama's children,'

Ananya said and took out a notepad. *And who is the girl you gave the vodka to?'

*That's Tinki, and she has a younger sister Nikki, both in college. They are Lappa mama's children. And Shipra masi has a son and a daughter, Bittu and Kittu. That's it, my mom only has me.'

*OK, OK,' Ananya said as she finished taking notes.

*Krish, come here,' my mother screamed. She stood next to the stage.

*Let's go,' I said and pulled Ananya's hand.

Ananya hesitated at first, but came along. My mother sat with an eighty-year- old lady who wore a gold necklace. It had a pendant bigger than the Olympic gold medal.

*She is Swaran aunty, my masi,' my mother said.

My grandmother had died a couple of years ago. Swaran aunty was the senior- most family member who was brought out at weddings and other auspicious occasions to bless everyone.

I bent forward to touch her feet. I signaled and Ananya followed.

*Kavita, teri noo hai?' Swaran aunty said in Punjabi, asking if Ananya was my mother's daughter-in-law.

My mother explained she was a friend.

*What is friend?' Swaran aunty asked me.

*Aunty, you need chaat?' I countered.

*Yes, nobody is getting me anything,' she complained.

I returned with a plate of chaat. Ananya sat next to Swaran aunty and my mother.

*She is Madrasi?' Swaran aunty said in a voice loud enough to belie her age.

*Tamilian,' Ananya said.

*But she is fair complexioned?' Swaran aunty said, genuinely confused. For her years, her eyesight wasn't bad at all.

Shipra masi passed by, looking expensive. Everything she wore a clothes, jewellery, handbag and shoes a contained real gold of varying proportions.

*Shipra, see this, a gori Madrasin,' Swaran aunty screamed.

*Hello Kavita, how are you Krish?'

*Fine aunty, meet my friend, Ananya,'

*Oh, we all know what kind of friend. Yes, she is fair.'

Shipra masi called for Rajji mama and Lappa mama's wives, Kamla and Rajni, respectively.

*Come, see Krish's friend. The Madrasin Kavita told us about,' Shipra masi shrieked.

Rajni aunty and Kamla aunty came over. We exchanged polite greetings. My mother explained how my father had viral fever so he couldn't come. Everyone knew the truth but nodded in total support. Shipra masi even suggested some medicines.

*Ananya Swaminathan, aunty,' Ananya repeated her name to Kamla mami as she hadn't caught it the first time.

*You are so fair. Are you hundred percent South Indian?' Kamla mami asked.

She is also an IIMA pass out and a brand manager at HLL, I wanted to say. But those are things you discuss in Chennai, not at the Taj Palace, Delhi, during the Talreja's sagan ceremony.

*By South Indian standards, she is quite pretty,' Shipra masi added insight.

*I know, otherwise how black and ugly they are,' Kamla mami said.

Everyone laughed, apart from Ananya. She had braved a smile all along, but it disappeared. I moved next to her and gently patted her back.

I didn't want her to react. Smile like a ditz and your chances of being accepted will improve. Sometimes, love is tested in strange ways.

*The boy's side has come!' Kittu, my youngest cousin, came running inside like Amitabh Bachchan had lost his way and rung the doorbell.

*Let's go, let's go,' Kamla mami hauled up all the ladies. The ladies deposited their gold sequined bags with Swaran aunty. Her immobility made her an ideal cloakroom.

*So, what is the surprise gift?' my mother egged on Kamla aunty.

*You will see it soon-ji. But the expense has broken our back. Minti's daddy had to take a loan.'

*It's OK, you have only one daughter,' Shipra masi said as all of them walked out.

Ananya let out a huge sigh after the Punjabi aunty gang left.

*You OK?' I said. *No, let me guess. You are not OK.'

*I need a drink, let's go to the bar,' Ananya said.

*But stay a few steps away. I'll order the drink,' I said.

We reached the bar. Tinki and Nikki came running to me, their lehngas lifted up to their ankles with their hands.

*Krish bhaiya, get a full glass of neat vodka. My friends from college have come.'

*Why can't the girls take drinks themselves?' Ananya asked.

Tinki and Nikki turned to Ananya, puzzled. At nineteen and seventeen, they looked overdressed in their designer clothes.

*Tinki, Nikki, this is Ananya,' I said.

*Oh, you are the one,' Tinki exclaimed.

*The one who?' I said.

*She is your girlfriend, no, Krish bhaiya?' Nikki said.

I didn't respond.

*You are blushing,' Tinki said, and turned to Ananya. *I love your earrings.

Where did you get them from?'

*Coimbatore,' Ananya said.

*Where is that?' Tinki said.

*Tamil Nadu, that is where I come from,' Ananya said.

*Stupid, didn't you read it in geography?' Nikki scolded her sister and turned to me, *Your girlfriend is so pretty. And her sari is also so beautiful.'

*Thanks,' Ananya said. *Both of you look great. I want a lehnga like that.'

I took a full glass of vodka from the bar and poured it into three glasses. I topped the drinks with Sprite and brought it for the girls.

*I don't drink. It's only for the DJ later,' Tinki clarified. *Anyway I am eighteen now.'

*You went to IIMA, no? You must be so intelligent. Can girls get into IIM? Nikki said.

*Of course, why not? What's it got to do with being a girl,' Ananya said.

I stepped away from them. The girls talked for the next ten minutes. If nothing else, Ananya had bonded with the younger set of my family. Why was it so much harder to win over the older generation?

*Where are you?' my mother's angry voice cut into my musings. *The ceremony is about to start.'

I collected the girls and we went to the stage. Minti sat on the floor of the stage with Duke in front of her. A priest sat alongside.

As my aunts would say, Duke was on the healthier side.

*He is fat,' Ananya said flatly.

*Shut up, someone will hear you,' I said.

*Oh, people really are careful about what they say around here,' Ananya said, sarcasm shimmering in her words like the sequins in her blouse.

*C'mon Ananya, they are not even aware they are being offensive. You will like them once you know them.'

*Please, I like your cousins, let me be with them,' Ananya said, her voice defiant from the vodka.

*We like her,' Nikki and Tinki certified as they gave Ananya a hug. Just like men, women too become friendlier after alcohol.

Duke was indeed fair as milk. The chubby cheeks and fair complexion made him look like a solely Cerelac-fed adult. He wore a shiny maroon kurta, of probably the same fabric as one of Ananya's mom's saris. Damn, I was remembering Ananya's mother here. Focus, I said to myself.

Minti wore an orange lehnga studded with Swarovski crystals and other precious stones. According to my mother, it cost twenty thousand rupees, while the wedding sari had cost thirty thousand. Ten percent of the wedding budget is bridal costumes, my brain made a useless calculation.

The priest chanted mantras. Minti gestured at her cousins to ask if she looked fine.

Nikki put her right thumb tip and index finger tip together to signify she looked fab. Nikki also put her right middle finger on her forehead to show Minti she needed to adjust her bindi. Minti followed the instructions and fixed her bindi with the left hand even as the priest tied a thread on her right. I learnt three facts about women: a) they never lose track of how they look; b) they help each other out by giving instructions in any way possible; and c) they can multi-task. Of course, my mind couldn't focus on the ceremony. I thought of ways to make my family like Ananya.

Duke pulled out an engagement ring from his kurta pocket. He displayed it for the cameras. A collective sigh ran across the women as they realised it was a solitaire.

*One-and-a-half-carats at least,' Shipra masi curated it immediately.

Duke put the ring on Minti's finger and everyone clapped. Minti gave a shy smile as she brought out a ring, a simple gold band for Duke. She put the ring on him.

*She looks so sweet,' Tinki said and the two sisters gave each other hugs, their eyes wet. Women have surplus emotions and they don't need a big trigger to spill them out.

Duke's family waited after the ring ceremony in anticipation. Rajji mama took out a little box from his shirt pocket. He passed it on to Duke. Duke refused three times. Rajji mama insisted until Duke accepted it. Duke opened the black box. It had a key with the Hyundai Motors sign on it.

This time the women and men gave out a collective sigh. Yes, Rajji mama had outdone the solitaire.

*They've given a car,' Shipra masi said, to make it clear in case somebody hadn't got it.

Grown-ups from both sides opened their respective sweet boxes and force-fed the other family. All of us went on stage one by one and congratulated the couple.

Minti's parents gave gifts to all of Duke's uncles and aunts. Duke's parents returned the favour. My mother and Shipra masi received a sari each.

*Show me yours,' Shipra masi said to my mother. Fortunately, they found them similar. Duke's parents could not be accused of aunt favouitism.

Rajji mama gloated after everyone complimented him on the masterstroke gift.

*Uncle, start the DJ,' Nikki said to Rajji mama.

Rajji mama nodded towards the dance floor. DJ pussycats from Rajouri Garden comprised of two fat surds who had waited hours for that signal. They started with dhol beats. All the younger cousins hit the dance floor. The uncles needed a few more pegs and the aunties needed a few more elbow pulls from the younger kids to come and groove.

*They gave a car?' Ananya said in shocked voice even as Nikki dragged her towards the dance floor.

*Yeah, a silver Santro,' Nikki said, *come no, didi.'