130 Turn common, everyday events into "little celebrations"-opportunities to express your love for your partner. We're not talking passion here, but affection. (We'll get to passion elsewhere!...) A tiny bit of forethought can turn the ordinary into the special. Eat dinner by candlelight. Tie a ribbon around a cup of bedtime tea. Pop your own popcorn while watching a video at home. Turn his birthday into a birthday month! Give her a bottle of champagne as a "thank you" for doing the grocery shopping. Leave a greeting card on his car seat when he's about to run errands for you.

131 Recognize that one mode of expression isn't enough.

We all have natural patterns that we follow; behaviors that are easy, natural, habitual; modes of expression that we fall into without even thinking about it. And these modes of expression are not particularly gender-based (even though pop psychology claims otherwise). Do you talk about your feelings-or do you act on your feelings? Are you quick and spontaneous-or slow and methodical? Do you process information primarily through your head-or through your heart? Do you express yourself directly-or subtly?

There's no "right" and "wrong" here-simply "your" way and your partner's way. So the first lesson is to accept that your partner has a variety of different ways of expressing his or her feelings. Honor and respect these differences, and I promise that this alone will greatly improve your relationship!

The second lesson is to recognize your own modes of communication. Your easiest path to better communication will be through your natural channels. (See the index entry for The Acorn Principle.)

Chapter Theme Song:.

"You're Learning,"

Emmylou Harris.

"Love is the triumph of

imagination over intelligence."

-H. L. Mencken.

SENIOR LESSONS.

132.

Senior Biology: When it comes to sex and sexuality, men and women are different!

Senior Psychology: But when it comes to emotions and love, men and women are much more alike than we are different.

133 You can be yourself and it works! It's astonishing to me that so many people think that "being romantic" somehow means something other than "being yourself."

Men don't really expect women to be playmates, and women don't really expect men to be Harlequin heroes. What we all really want is the spark, the magic, the thrill of love: the experience we all had at the beginning of our relationships. This experience can be re-created through romance-that is, through the creative expression of your feelings. You never need to be someone you aren't, but you do need to stay in touch with your feelings, and then act on them.

134 Start with any basic romantic concept, then give it a twist-build on it, expand it, exaggerate it, use your creativity, put your personal stamp on it-and you'll create an endless supply of new romantic ideas.

Wow! The things you learn when you read the real psychological literature, instead of relying on pop psychology!

LE BOUDOIR GIFTS.

135 The bedroom is your private, romantic hideaway. Don't turn it into an all-purpose room.

Get rid of that TV!

No bright lights!

No exercise equipment.

Keep flowers on the nightstand.

Always have candles handy.

Massage oil is a must.

136 Don't simply have breakfast in bed-make it an elegant feast. Whip up something special: Blueberry pancakes? Cinnamon toast? Fresh-squeezed orange juice? French-roast coffee?

Serve on your good china and best crystal. Add lots of candles. And flowers, too.

137 "Breakfast in bed is 'nice'-but rather common, don't you think?" said one couple in the Romance Class. "We think the class would be interested in one of our favorite pastimes: Dinner in bed!"

138.

Canopy beds: Most Romantic Kind of Bed/ Feminine Category Brass beds: Most Romantic Kind of Bed/ Masculine Category.

Chapter Theme Song:.

"Here in My Room," Incubus After she's asleep, quietly place a greeting card in front of her alarm clock. In the morning before she arises, ask her what time it is.

The True Test of Love & Tolerance: Letting her warm her cold feet on you in bed.

LA CUISINE.

139 Get to know the owner, manager or maitre d' at your favorite restaurant.

Become a "regular" and you'll get the best tables, best service, and best wines, plus inside tips on what's really best on the menu tonight.

140 "The Great Search for the Most Romantic Restaurant in Town." Create a list of candidates garnered from restaurant reviews and tips from your friends. Visit a different restaurant each week. Rate them according to your own personal standards.

141 Does your partner have a favorite meal that he or she always orders when dining out? If so, write-up a "custom description" of the meal and secretly tape it into his or her menu. ("Pasta Prima Patricia." "Beefy Bob Wellington." "Eggs a la Lisa.") 142 Have lunch or dinner in an unusual place. Museums have quirky cafes. Airports have restaurants with great views. All-night diners are cool places to hang out.

143 Get up extra early on a weekday and go out for breakfast with your lover. It's a great way to start the day in a totally different way.

Chapter Theme Song:.

"Hungry," Eric Clapton.

LOVE NOTES (III).

144 Write one love letter on twenty-five different index cards. Hide these all over the house. Finding all of them will be the first challenge. Putting them in order will be the second challenge.

145 Let comic strips speak for you. Tape them to the refrigerator. Hide them in her purse. Hide them in his briefcase. Pack them in her suitcase.

Blondie and Dagwood's marriage issues Cathy's dating dilemmas Charlie Brown's unrequited love Rose and Jimbo's ongoing romance Brenda Starr's wry observations about love Dilbert's disastrous attempts at dating 146 If you're not much of a writer, create an audio love letter. Sit down with a digital voice recorder and just talk to her for ten minutes. Then upload the sound file to your computer and email it to her.

147 Add flair to your love notes and envelopes with festive, wacky, or personalized rubber stamps. (You can even have a photograph made into a rubber stamp!) Call Creative Mode at 608-838-8011; or write to 2934 County Road MN, Stoughton, Wisconsin 53589; or visit www.creativemode.com.

LOVE NOTES (IV).

148 Finding special meaning in various items is a romantically useful habit to develop. Here are a few album titles that might inspire you.

Attach an appropriate note to the CD and give it to your lover. Or create a musical "Love Coupon" with a theme that matches the title of the CD.

Come Away with Me, Norah Jones Love Scenes, Diana Krall August, Eric Clapton Greatest Hits, Mariah Carey Desire, Bob Dylan Fantasy, Carole King Lovers Rock, Sade You Sing to Me, Marc Antony In the Dark, The Grateful Dead Keith Urban, Keith Urban No Name Face, Lifehouse You Light Up My Life, Leann Rimes Still Crazy After All These Years, Paul Simon Savage Garden, Savage Garden No Angel, Dido Romance (Music for Piano), on the Narada Label Beauty of Love, Shardad My Heart, Martina McBride No Ordinary Love, Sade Let's Talk About Love, Celine Dion Fields of Gold, Sting Dressed to Kill, Kiss Heart to Heart, David Sanborn Let's Live for Today, The Grass Roots You Got What It Takes, The Dave Clark Five Dirty Mind, Prince Love to love You Baby, Donna Summer Please Love Me Forever, Bobby Vinton Which albums in your collection have especially meaningful titles?

Personal recommendation: Aaron Skyy's CD Skyy's the Limit. Includes some great romantic R&B songs like "Love Letter" and "Can't Stop Lovin' You," as well as the hit "The One."

"I LOVE YOU"

This tradition was started during World War I as soldiers and their gals wrote love letters back and forth, including this "love code."

149 "I love you." The all-purpose, over-used phrase...that we never tire of hearing. Say it. Say it often. Say it with feeling. Mean it.

150 Upside-down stamps on envelopes mean "I love you."

151 You could learn how to say "I love you" using sign language. These two books will show you how: The Joy of Signing, by Lottie Riekoff A Basic Course in American Sign Language, by Tom Humphries If you get more ambitious, you could move beyond a simple "I love you" and learn how to have silent and intimate conversations of love with one another across crowded rooms.

152 Call her from work for no other reason than to tell her, "I love you."

Chapter Theme Songs:.

"I Love You," Climax Blues Band "I Love You," Faith Hill "I Love You," Donna Summer "I Love You," Sarah McLachlan "I Love You," Celine Dion "I Love You," Mary J. Blige.

"AI SHITE IMASU"

153.

English: "I love you"

Apache: "Shi ingolth-a"

Arabic: "'Ahebbek"