Chapter Theme Songs:.

"Always," Bon Jovi "Always," U2 "Always," Blink 182 When's the last time you really played together?

Books to enhance the fun in your life:

Play Therapy with Adults,

by Charles E. Schaefer.

Play Therapy: The Art of Relationship,

by Garry L. Landreth.

Beyond Love and Work:

Why Adults Need to Play,

by Lenore Terr.

162 Always remember that there are many-thousands, millions!-of ways of expressing love. And remember that your partner has the right to express his or her love in ways that may not be what you want or expect. When you insist that romance take a particular form, this reflects your rigidity or insecurity.

You do, of course, have the right to have some of the romance come to you in the form you desire. But don't expect your partner to read your mind! If you want something in your life, you must take responsibility for manifesting it. You might simply talk with your partner about your wants and needs. Some people recognize subtle hints while others need lists and reminders.

If you work with your partner's personality instead of against it, your relationship will be much happier.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER.

163 When you're talking with your lover on the phone, never, never, never interrupt your conversation to answer another call via Call Waiting. Let your answering service pick up that incoming call! A+ Couples know it's important to give one another their undivided, focused attention.

164.

Never, never, never wallpaper together.

Never, never, never disrespect her.

Never, never, never embarrass him in public.

Never, never, never give checks as gifts.

Never, never, never nag.

Never, never, never forget your partner's birthday.

Never, never, never throw out something that belongs to him or her.

Never, never, never betray a confidence.

Never, never, never refer to your wife as "My Old Lady."

Never, never, never give her practical gifts.

Never, never, never say, "Yes, dear," just to appease her.

Never, never, never joke about her PMS.

Never, never, never withhold sex to punish him.

Never, never, never give her the "silent treatment."

Never, never, never return his car with an empty gas tank.

Never, never, never say "What's for dinner?" before saying "I love you."

Never, never, never say, "I told you so."

GIFTS, GIFTS, GIFTS.

165 The Forty-Six Kinds of Gifts This list may inspire your thinking, give you a creative kick, or simply serve as a reminder.

The Surprise Gift The Trinket Gift The "Just what I always wanted" Gift The Classically Romantic Gift The Perfume Gift The Sexy Gift The "Oh, you shouldn't have!-But I love it!" Gift The Obligatory Gift The Optional Gift The Kooky Gift The Keepsake Gift The "How did you find it?!" Gift The Homemade Gift The Unbelievably Expensive Gift The Gag Gift The Gift that Keeps on Giving The One Gigantic Item Gift Theme Gifts Personalized Gifts The Gift of Travel The Gift of Food The Gift in His or Her Favorite Color The Meaningful Gift The Funny Gift The Practical Gift The Frivolous Gift The First-Class Gift The Custom Romance Certificate Gift The Gift-Within-a-Gift-Within-a-Gift Gift The Beautifully Wrapped Gift Birthday Gifts Anniversary Gifts The Gift of Time The Gift of Cash The Gift Certificate The Gift of Yourself The Cheap Gift The Charming Gift The Gift of Flowers The Gift for No Particular Reason The Family Heirloom Gift The Gift of Art The Decadent Gift The Gift of Chocolate The Gift Cruise The Gift in a Teeny, Tiny Package.

SEX, SEX, SEX.

166 Here's something that may surprise you: "The Torah obligates a man to pleasure his wife so that she reaches sexual climax before [he does]." This practical/sexual/ spiritual advice is from the amazing book Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy, by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

167.

Time yourselves: How fast can you make love??

Time yourselves: How long can you make sex last??

Chapter Theme Song:.

"SexyBack,"

Justin Timberlake Hang mistletoe over your bed. (Not just for Christmas only!) The Playboy Catalog. Call 800-423-9494, or visit www.playboy.com.

168.

Increase the frequency of your lovemaking by 33%.

Increase the time you spend on foreplay by 150%.

Increase the quality of your lovemaking by 21%.

Be 15% less inhibited in your lovemaking.

169 Learn to program your TiVo-it could lead to more sex! Record his or her favorite TV show. Make love during that time slot. (Hint: Choose his favorite hour-long show, not his favorite half-hour sitcom.) 170 Use props to enhance your lovemaking. Here's tonight's assignment: First, buy a derby. (Yes, a derby. One of those old-fashioned hats.) Then rent the movie, The Unbearable Lightness of Being. You'll learn how to make effective use of the derby.

LOVE NOTES (V).

171 Put a tiny little love note inside a balloon. Insert the message, blow up the balloon and tie it. Then attach a pin to the string.

172 Be prepared with greeting cards. Go out to his weekend and buy $50 worth of greeting cards. Don't ask questions, just do it! Head for your nearest card shop and spend a solid hour reading hundreds of cards. Get some sentimental cards. Get some sexy cards. Get several birthday cards. Get some friendship cards. Get cards with no inscription, so you can exercise your creativity.

Don't forget to file some of these cards at work.

Prestamp the envelopes (with Love Stamps) to save time later.

173 Some creative twists to your basic love letters, love notes, poetry, verses, and romantic twists.

Write them on nice parchment paper.

Turn them into scrolls, tied with ribbon.

Frame 'em.

Have them rendered in calligraphy.

Have your poem set to music.

Have the new song recorded.

Publish your love letters in a book.

Place a love note in the newspaper classified section.

Create a poster of a love poem.

Write it up on your computer; add flourishes.

Write a letter in code.

Cool idea! Have your poem set to music! See the index listing for "Songsmith."

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

-Robert A. Heinlein

LOVE NOTES (VI).