Pa!

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

Lady Twombley!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Oh, my gracious!

[She drops on her hands and knees at SIR JULIAN'S feet.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.

You've found me out, pa! You've found me out!

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

I have found you out.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

How did you manage it?

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

By degrading myself to the position of an eavesdropper.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

That's pretty mean, pa--ain't it?

[Seeing that he is examining the Bills she puts up her hands and seizes them.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Ah! Don't tot 'em up! Don't tot 'em up!

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

Katherine, when I first saw you, three-and-twenty years ago, you were standing over a tub in the tiled yard of your father's farm wringing out your little sister's pinafores.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

[Weeping.] Oh-h-h!

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

Could I have looked forward I should have known that you would one day wring my feelings as you do now.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Pa, I've fallen into the hands of the unscrupulous.

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

Woman!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Oh, don't call me that, pa!

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

The unscrupulous! You have lost the right to ever again use that serviceable word.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

What do you mean?

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

How do you come by those Bills?

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Julian, you know! [Going toward him on her knees frantically.] Ah, don't stare like that! [Putting her arms round him.] Husband! Dear husband, you are glaring like an idiot! Listen! [She shakes him violently.]

Listen! When that reptile tempted me I ran upstairs intending to tell you all. I did. Oh, pa, don't stare at nothing! I knocked at your door; there was a drumming in my ears, and I fancied your voice answered me telling me to enter. Oh, try winking, pa, try winking! Your room was empty--left unguarded, the door unlocked. I entered. Wink, pa; for mercy's sake, wink! I sank into a chair to wait for your coming, [Taking the written paper from her pocket.] and there, on your table, right before my eyes, I saw this thing like a white ghost.

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

A memorandum in my writing that the concession for the Rajputana Ca.n.a.l is to be granted.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Yes, yes. I tried to forget it was there. But the chairs and tables seemed to dance before me and every object in the room had a voice crying out, "Kitty, you silly woman, get back your Bills from that demon who is plaguing you!" I put my fingers in my ears and then the voices were shut up in my brain, and still they shrieked, "Kitty, get back your Bills! Get back your Bills!" I s.n.a.t.c.hed up this paper and ran from the room. Even then if I had met you, Julian, I should have been safe; but whenever Old Nick wants to play the deuce with a married lady he begins by taking her husband for a stroll, and so I fell into Lebanon's clutches--and I--I--I'm done for! [She sinks into a chair.]

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

Katherine, those Bills must be returned to the creature, Lebanon.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Yes. And--and--pa, dear, you'll never speak kindly to me after this, will you?

SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY.

I trust I shall be invariably polite to you, Katherine.

LADY TWOMBLEY.