LADY MACPHAIL.

Madam, a Macphail can always walk under any circ.u.mstances.

DOWAGER.

[Reading the telegram she has written.] "If--in--doubt--amputate."

[LADY MACPHAIL, MACPHAIL, VALENTINE, LADY EUPHEMIA, EGIDIA, and the DOWAGER go out.]

MRS. GAYl.u.s.tRE.

[Weeping till the others are out of sight.] Joseph will die of remorse!

[Calling.] The coast is clear, Joseph. Jo!

[As she goes out LADY TWOMBLEY enters in great agitation, clutching an important-looking doc.u.ment.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Kitty, what have you done! Kitty, what have you done!

[LEBANON enters.]

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Lady T! Thought so! [Seeing the paper.] Oh my goodness, what has she got there?

LADY TWOMBLEY.

I must--I must find Julian! Oh!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

[s.n.a.t.c.hing the paper from her.] Excuse me!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Ah! give me back that paper!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Lady T, oh, Lady T!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

[Following him round the table.] Give me back that paper! Dear, sweet Mr. Lebanon!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

[Reading the paper.] Ha!

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Ah! don't read it!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

My friend Sir Julian's own writing! The Rajputana Ca.n.a.l is a blessed fact! Lady Twombley, I forget my wounded pride, I forgive the blow to my self-respect. You have won a place in Jo Lebanon's heart.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Give me back that paper and forget it!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

[Returning the paper.] Give it you back? Delighted. Forget it? Oh, Lady T, Lady T.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Devil!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Lady Twombley, Joseph Lebanon is, above all things, a man of honour.

[Handing Bills to LADY TWOMBLEY.] Lovely woman's Acceptances.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

I won't take them. I won't buy them back at such a price.

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

Natural delicacy. [Laying the Bills on the table.] You can pick 'em up when I'm gone.

LADY TWOMBLEY.

Oh, what a wicked woman I am!

MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.

I can get out of these beastly clothes, drive to Strachlachan Junction, and wire to town before feedin' time. The city is on the eve of a financial earthquake! Joseph's name will be a 'ouse'old word from Mile End to Kensington! Lady Twombley, we meet at the hop to-morrow night for the last time--in Society. [Boisterously.] Whoop! Dash Society! [He performs a few steps of a Highland dance.] Excuse my humour. [He goes out.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.

The Bills! The Bills! They mustn't lie there.

[As she goes to the table SIR JULIAN, looking very white and dishevelled, enters, and, standing opposite to her, takes up the Bills and presents them to her.]

LADY TWOMBLEY.