Defend, parry, attack.

One corner of my mind sent prayers to Danu that we would live to retreat and regroup.

Another part of me took a fierce, almost sexual joy in fighting beside Harlan. We passed targets off to each other as if we'd practiced it for years.

My speed.

His strength.

He dug in, an immovable, unassailable bulwark that sent one creature after another off bleeding into the shadows.

I spun, danced, maneuvered, guarding his flank, creating a double-bladed whirlwind that nothing penetrated.

Nothing much. I became aware of a few nasty bites singing with blood and pain when there were, at last, no more comers. I weighted back in one leg, ready to spring, surveying the twitching bodies, scanning the rustling leaves. No movement in my arc. In the corner of my eye, Harlan cut the head from a large black wolf, grunting with the effort, then performed a similar scan.

"Clear?" I asked.

"For the moment, it seems." He was out of breath. Understandable.

"We should move. Hopefully they didn't kill the horses. If we can't ride out, we'll have to find a more defensible location."

"A sound plan."

I moved forward, exercising caution, lest any of the fallen were thinking to ambush us. Harlan's tread seemed louder than usual behind me, uneven. I glanced back. "You okay?"

He nodded, grim. "Get to the horses."

The three were hobbled out where we'd left them to graze in a grassy meadow at the edge of the trees. Terrified, but unhurt. The Tala love animals. A foolish miss to my mind. But a stroke of luck I'd take. No doubt Terin had thought us easier to kill than that.

Harlan grunted and once again I turned back. Just in time to see him sink to his knees.

"Danu-you're injured!" In two strides, I had him under the shoulder, easing him to the ground. His arm wrapped protectively around his gut told me all I needed to know. "Stubborn man. Let me see."

"Ursula." He refused to budge his arm. "Take your steed and go."

"Not on your life."

He laughed, a hollow sound. "I'm afraid so."

Terror, keen and ice-cold, such as I'd never felt before flooded through me. "I'm not leaving you. Let me see."

I think he wouldn't have, but that unfailing strength had bled away and he couldn't resist me. Dark liver blood covered my hands before I managed to cut away his leather armor. It pulsed out, hot, fast. I pressed down to staunch the bleeding. Too much. The slick, ragged flesh shifted under my hands, sliding away.

A mortal wound.

"Don't weep, my hawk," he whispered, wrapping a hand around my wrist. "Not for me."

"Thrice-damn you," I gritted out, my vision blurry. "Don't you dare die."

"Sing for me." His voice had become thready as his lifeblood pumped into the ground.

"I won't let you die."

"Even you can't fight death, my valiant warrior. Lay my head in your lap and sing me a lullaby. You promised."

I wanted to argue I'd never promised any such thing. I wanted to badger and bully him into getting up again. But any fool could see he was dying. I'd seen enough of it to know. I rolled up his shirt and packed it into the wound anyway, to forestall death as long as possible, and then did as he asked, gently lifting his head so he could lay it in my lap.

He gazed up at me, eyes no longer sharp. "So beautiful."

I caught the sob. "I do love you. I should have said so."

"It's all right. I knew."

"Of course you did. Arrogant hire-sword."

"I wouldn't trade it. Any of it. Knowing you. Loving you. The greatest privilege of my life. Even knowing how it would end, I'd do it again."

"I'm sorry I was so hardheaded."

"You are perfect. Sing me to sleep."

So, I did. My voice croaking around the tears, I sang the only lullaby I knew.

Sleep deep, sleep now,

Under the moon, Moranu's cowl.

Danu's stars light your way

To Glorianna's dawning day.

32.

I sang it three times.

He said nothing more; his breath slowed to nothing. He was gone.

I couldn't make myself check to be sure. As if, maybe if I just sat quietly, I wouldn't have to face that I'd lost him forever.

That I sat there in an open meadow under Danu's merciless stars, all alone.

"Glorianna take you, Ursula! Where are you? I know that was you croaking in that frog's voice."

Was I hallucinating? It couldn't be Ami calling out to me. "Ami?" I said, but no sound emerged. I cleared my throat. "Ami!"

"Oh, thank Glorianna!" She burst through the trees, dressed in leathers, hair cut raggedly short, carrying a dagger. Several impossible things together. But Ami it was. She ran to me and fell to her knees beside me. "Are you hurt? You're covered in blood. Ash! Come help me."

"Ash is here?" My brain felt stupid.

"Yes. Here he comes. Ash-she needs help."

"Not me." I grabbed her hands as Ash came striding up, a bundle strapped to his chest. "Harlan. Ash, you have to heal him. Can you?"

Ami stared down at Harlan's face. "Who is he? I've never seen this man before."

"It's a really long story. Ash, please! I'll pay any price."

Ash's uncanny green eyes flashed from my face to Harlan, and he unstrapped the bundle, handed it to Ami, and knelt down. "Let me see."

"His side. I tried to stop the bleeding, but . . ."

"Essla." Ami kept her voice soft. "I think he's-"

"Don't say it." My voice cracked, along with my heart. "I can't bear to hear the words. Please try, Ash." With a sense of desperate despair, I prayed with all my might to Danu, offering her whatever she required of me. Surely she would not have guided Ash here at this moment, only to hand Harlan over to Glorianna's arms. I didn't know how to withstand that kind of crushing defeat. I'd watched Ami receive the corpse of her true love and badgered her terribly. Awful of me. "I'm sorry I was cruel to you, Ami. When you were grieving. I didn't know how it felt."

"You were right to do it. You kept me from going off the cliffs long enough to heal."

Heal. An impossible concept.

"He's alive," Ash said, sounding terse, "but barely. I need some room here."

"Wait." Ami put a hand on his shoulder. "At what cost? You can't endanger yourself."

Ash looked at me instead. "How much does he matter to you, Your Highness?"

"Everything," I admitted. I didn't even care to weigh the words, what I promised or how it might mortgage the future. None of that mattered. "I'll pay any price."

"Done, then." He nodded solemnly, but the starlight caught the craggy lines of his scarred face, showed the twist of his smile. "Now, get out of the way."

"Come on, Auntie Essla." Ami tugged me away as Ash held Harlan's head. "He needs privacy and peace to do this. Hold your nephew and I'll fetch our packs. Is that Fiona?"

I laughed a little, that she would notice, and took the baby, trying to hold him without getting blood on his blankets. Most of it, though, had dried. We'd sat there some time. Then, exhaustion crashing over me, I folded my knees and sat where I could watch Ash work, fancying that a soft green glow emanated from his hands. Astar hiccupped and I angled my arms to better drink in his sleeping face.

"Does he do nothing but sleep?" I asked Ami when she returned, leading two horses.

"Believe me-you're grateful he's asleep. I swear he has all of your meanness and none of my sweet nature. The child is a brat."

"You don't look like a brat," I cooed at Astar and kissed him on his forehead. He smelled of milk and soft, sweet new life. Something to hold on to.

"Here." Ami tugged out one of my hands and splashed water from a canteen over it, wiping the blood away with a cloth. "Is any of this yours?"

"Some maybe. Most of it is Harlan's."

"And he is?"

My lover. My love. My unlooked-for partner for life. All the names for him tangled in my head. "A Dasnarian mercenary," I finally said, knowing he'd be amused that's what I'd settled on. "How came you to be here? Terin said he had you captive. He gave us your hair."

"As you can see, that's the only part of me that rat bastard has. Not for lack of trying." She gave me my cleaned hand back and reached for the other.

"He has Andi now. Lured with the threat to your life. Some kind of plan for her to do something with Stella. Rayfe is tracking her. We were attacked and sorely pressed. Harlan injured. They could be back anytime." The thoughts seemed to come in disconnected bursts. From a distance, I considered that I might be in shock.

"There's no Tala about. We had to stay away from the area until they cleared out."

"How do you know?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Can't you smell them? Especially Terin's lot. I can smell their particular stink a league away."

I giggled and Ami stared into my face, using the cloth to wipe the blood away, then to cool my brow.

"You're bad off, Essla," she said, a worried frown creasing her forehead. She should be rubbing it away, to prevent wrinkles, but she didn't. "What can I do for you?"

"I don't know." I looked down at Astar. "I don't know anything anymore."

She gently lifted the babe from me and I missed his warm weight immediately, a chill making me shiver. "Drink this water and lie back. Let me tend to you."

"You sound like Harlan." I did as she bade and she tucked Astar into the crook of my arm.

"Then he must be a good man."

"He is. I'm in love with him."

"Quite the development." She worked on the side away from the baby, removing my clothes in pieces, washing the various bites and scrapes she found. "You've lost a lot of blood, I think. You're hurt more than you knew. Drink more water."

"He wants to kill Uorsin, though."

"Good."

Something about her terse agreement penetrated the dreamy haze. "How can you say that?"

She moved Astar to my other side and set to work again, unbuckling my sword belt. I stopped her. "No."