She controlled her reaction. "Congratulations. Will you practice here?"

"Oh, G.o.d no! I'll just use it for weekends and vacations. You know." She knew.

He had a practice in White Plains, child and adolescent psychiatry. "Very busy, long hours. This place, it'll be like heaven to me."

They all three moved out into the backyard toward the barn, past the half dozen hives.

"You going to keep bees?"

"No."

"Want to sell the hives?"

"Well. You can have them, glad to have you take 'em away. I'm thinking of putting a pool and a deck out here, and I'm allergic to bee venom."

Bowditch cautioned that R.J. didn't want to try to move the hives for another five or six weeks, until they had a serious cold snap that would put the bees into dormancy. "Actually ..." He consulted an inventory list. "David owns eight more hives that he's rented out to Dover's Apple Orchards. You want those too?"

"I suppose I do."

"Buying the house the way I'm doing raises some problems," Kenneth Dettinger said. "There are clothes in closets, bureaus to be cleaned out. I don't have a wife to help me get the house shipshape. Only just divorced, you see."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh." He grimaced and shrugged, and then he grinned ruefully. "I'll have to hire somebody to clean everything out of the house and get rid of it."

Sarah's clothes.

"Do you know anyone I could hire to do a job like that?"

"Let me do it. No money. I'm ... a friend of the family."

"Why, that would be fine. I would appreciate it." He was studying her with interest. He had chiseled features. She didn't trust the strength she saw in his face; perhaps it meant he was accustomed to getting his way.

"I have my own furniture. I'll keep the refrigerator, it's only a year old. Anything you want, just take it. What's left ... give it away or ask someone with a truck to haul it to the dump, and mail me a bill."

"When will you need the house emptied of things?"

"If it can be done by Christmas, I'll be grateful."

"All right, then."

That fall in the hills was especially beautiful. The leaves turned wanton in October, and the rains didn't come to buffet them off the trees. Everywhere R.J. drove-to the office, to the hospital, to make a house call-she was struck by color viewed through a prism of cold, crystal air.

She tried to go back to living her life normally, concentrating on her patients, but it seemed to her that she was always one step behind. She began to worry that her medical judgment might be affected.

A couple who were near neighbors of hers, Pru and Albano Trigo, had a sick kid, Lucien, ten years old. They called him Luke. He was off his feed, without energy, had explosive diarrhea. It persisted, on and on. R.J. did a sigmoidoscopy, sent him for upper GI X rays, an MRI.

Nothing.

The boy continued to fail. R.J. referred him to a gastroenterologist in Springfield for a consult, but the Springfield physician couldn't find anything wrong, either.

Late one afternoon she crunched over dry leaves on the trail. Just as she reached the beaver pond she saw a body flash away underwater like a sleek, small seal.

There were beaver colonies up and down the Catamount River. The river ran through the Trigo property, just downstream from R.J.'s.

She hurried to her car and drove to the Trigos' house. Lucien was lying on the couch in the living room, watching television.

"Luke, did you go swimming this summer? In the river?"

He nodded.

"Did you swim in the ponds made by the beaver dams?"

"Sure."

"Did you ever drink the water?"

Prudence Trigo was paying very close attention.

"Oh yeah, sometimes," Lucien said. "It's real clean and cold."

"It does look clean, Luke. I swim in it myself. But I just happened to think that the beaver and other wild creatures defecate and urinate in it."

"Defecate and ..."

"s.h.i.t and p.i.s.s," Pru said to her son. "Doctor means they s.h.i.t and p.i.s.s in the water, and then you drink it." She turned to R.J. "You think that's it?"

"I think it might be. Animals infect water with parasites. If somebody drinks the water, the parasites reproduce and form a lining in the gut, so the intestine is no longer capable of absorbing nourishment. We won't be sure until I send a stool sample off to the government lab. In the meantime, I'll start him on a strong antibiotic."

When the test came back, the report said that Lucien's digestive tract was laden with Giardia lamblia protozoa and showed traces of several other parasites as well. Within two weeks he was eating again, and his diarrhea had disappeared. Several weeks after that, another test revealed that his duodenum and jejunum were free of parasites, and his pent-up energy had found such release that he was getting on his mother's nerves.

He and R.J. agreed that next summer they would swim in Big Pond instead of in the river, and that they wouldn't drink the lake water either.

The cold came down from Canada, the kiss of death for all the flowers except the hardiest chrysanthemums. The hayed fields, close-cut as the heads of convicts, turned brown under the lemonish sun. R.J. paid Will Riley to bring the beehives to her place in his truck and stand them in her backyard in a row, between the house and the woods. Once they were moved, she completely ignored them, being occupied with treating humans. She had received advisories from the Centers for Disease Control warning that one of this year's influenza strains, A/Beijing 32/92 (H3N2), was particularly virulent and debilitating, and for weeks Toby had been summoning aging patients to the office for flu shots. The vaccine didn't make an appreciable dent in the epidemic when it came, however, and suddenly R.J.'s days were too short. The telephone ring became hateful. She prescribed antibiotics to some whose infections appeared to be bacterial, but mostly all she could do was tell them to take aspirin, drink lots of fluids, stay warm, get plenty of bed rest. Toby caught the flu, but R.J. and Peg Weiler managed to stay healthy despite the workload. "We're too ornery to get sick, you and I," Peggy said.

It was the second day of November before R.J. could make time to bring cardboard cartons to the log house.

It was as if she were closing out not only Sarah's life, but David's as well.

While she folded and packed Sarah's clothing, she tried to shut off her mind. If she could close her eyes too while she packed, she would have done it. When a carton became full, she took it to the town dump and placed it in the bin for Salvation Army collection.

She stood for a long time over Sarah's collection of heartrocks, trying to decide what to do with them. She couldn't give them away or discard them; finally, she packed them all carefully and carried them out to the car as if they were jewels. Her guest room became a rock room, trays of heartrocks everywhere.

She threw away the things in David's medicine chest, ruthlessly dumping Sarah's Clearasil and David's antihistamines. Inside her there was a growing coldness at him for making it necessary for her to do these hurtful things. She saved the letters she found on his desk without reading them, placing them in a brown paper bag. In the lower left-hand drawer of the desk, she opened a typing paper box and found his book ma.n.u.script, which she took home and placed on the high shelf in her closet next to old scarves, mittens that didn't fit anymore, and a Red Sox cap she had had since college.

She spent Thanksgiving Day working, but the epidemic already had started its downward curve. The following week she managed to take two days in Boston for an important occasion. Her father was ten months beyond the university's mandatory retirement age of sixty-five. Now he had to leave the chair at the medical school that he had occupied for so many years, and his department colleagues had invited R.J. to join them at a dinner in his honor at the Union Club. It was a mellow evening, full of praise, affection, and reminiscences. R.J. was very proud.

The next morning her father took her to breakfast at the Ritz. "Are you all right?" he said gently. They had already discussed Sarah's death at length.

"I'm absolutely fine."

"What do you suppose has happened to him?"

Her father asked timidly, afraid to cause her more hurt, but she had already faced the question squarely, and she realized she might never see him again.

"I'm certain he's lost in a bottle somewhere."

She told her father she had paid off one third of the bank loan for which he had co-signed, and both of them were relieved to change the subject.

What lay ahead for Professor Cole was a chance to write a textbook he had been planning for years and the teaching of several courses as a guest professor at the University of Miami.

"I have good friends in Florida, and I thirst for warmth and sunshine," he said, holding up hands that arthritis had made gnarled as apple tree branches. He told R.J. he wanted her to have the viola da gamba that had been his grandfather's.

"Whatever would I do with it?"

"Perhaps learn to play it. I don't play it at all nowadays, and I want to travel light."

"Are you giving me Rob J.'s scalpel, as well?" She had always secretly been very impressed by the antique family scalpel.

He smiled. "Rob J.'s scalpel doesn't take up much room. I'll hold on to it. You'll be getting it soon enough."

"Not for a very long time, I hope," she said and leaned over the table to kiss him.

He was going to place the apartment's furnishings in storage, and he asked her to take whatever she might want.

"The carpet in your study," she said at once.

He was surprised. It was an undistinguished Belgian rug, beige and almost threadbare, not worth anything. "Take the Hamadan that's in the living room. It's a much better carpet than the one in my study."

But she already had a fine Persian rug, and what she wanted was something that was a part of her father. So the two of them went to the apartment and rolled up the rug and tied it. Even with each of them carrying one end it was a ch.o.r.e to get it downstairs and into the rear cargo s.p.a.ce of the Explorer. The viola da gamba took up the entire rear seat as she drove back to Woodfield.

She was glad to have the instrument and the carpet, but she wasn't pleased with the fact that she kept inheriting the belongings of people who mattered to her.

34.

WINTER NIGHTS.

One Sat.u.r.day morning Kenneth Dettinger arrived at the log house to find R.J. going through the last of the Markus possessions. He helped her sort through the tools and the kitchen utensils.

"Hey, I'd like to keep the screwdrivers and some of the saws."

"Okay. You've paid for them."

Doubtless she sounded as depressed as she felt. He gave her a searching look. "What's going to happen to the rest of this stuff?"

"You're giving it to the church ladies for their tag sale."

"Perfect!"

They worked together for a time without speaking. "You married?" he asked finally.

"No. Divorced, same as you."

He nodded. She saw an ache fly across his features, fleeting as a bird, coming and going in an instant. "It's a h.e.l.l of a big club, isn't it?"

R.J. nodded. "Members all over the world," she said.

She spent a lot of time with Eva, talking about the old days of Woodfield, discussing events that happened when Eva was a little girl or a young woman. Always, she watched the old woman closely, made uneasy by what was clearly a winding down of vitality, a gradual fading that had begun in Eva shortly after her niece's death.

R.J. asked her again and again about the Crawford children, still held captive by the mystery of the infant skeleton. Linda Rae Crawford had died in her sixth year, and Tyrone had died when he was nine, both before they had reached child-producing age. So it was on the other two siblings, Barbara Crawford and Harry Hamilton Crawford, Jr., that R.J. focused her attention.

"Young Harry was a sweet-natured boy, but not cut out for a farm," Eva remembered. "Always had his head buried in a book. He studied at the state college in Amherst for a while, but then he got thrown out, something to do with gambling. He just went away somewheres. I think California, or Oregon. Someplace out there." The other daughter, Barbara, was a steadier kind of person, Eva said.

"Was Barbara pretty? Did she have men who ... you know, came around and courted her?"

"She was pretty enough, and a very nice girl. I can't remember her having any particular feller, but she went away to the normal school in Springfield and married one of her teachers."

Eva became impatient with R.J.'s questions and cranky about her presence. "You don't have young ones, do you? Or a man at home?"

"I do not."

"Well, you're making a mistake. I could have gotten me a good man, I know I might have, if only I'd been free."

"Free? Why, Eva, you talk as though you were a slave back then. You've always been free. ..."

"Not really. I couldn't break away. My brother always needed me to stay on the farm," she said stiffly. Sometimes while they talked she grew visibly agitated, the fingertips of her right hand plucking at the tabletop or the bedspread or the flesh of her other hand.

She had had a hard life, and R.J. saw that it disturbed her to be reminded of it.

There were numerous and growing problems involving her present life. The church volunteers who cleaned her house and cooked her meals had reacted splendidly to a crisis, but they weren't able to do it on a long-term basis. Marjorie La.s.siter was empowered to hire someone to clean the apartment once a week, but Eva needed extended care, and the social worker confided to R.J. that she had begun to look for a nursing home that would take her. Eva was querulous and raised her voice a lot, and R.J. suspected that most nursing homes would try to keep her sedated. She saw problems ahead.

In mid-December, suddenly there was snow to match the cold. Sometimes R.J. dressed in layers and ventured out onto the trail on her skis. The winter woods were still as a deserted church, but there were signs of occupancy. She saw the fresh pugmarks of a wildcat and tracks of deer of varying sizes, and a bloodied and furstrewn patch of broken snow. Now she didn't need David to tell her that a predator had taken a rabbit; it was coyotes, their dog tracks were in the snow all about the kill.

The beaver ponds were frozen and snow covered, and the winter river gurgled and rushed over, under, and through an atmosphere of ice. R.J. wanted to ski along the riverbank, but that was where the cleared trail ended, and she had to turn around and go back the way she had come.

Winter was beautiful in the woods and the fields, but it would have been better shared. She ached for David. Perversely, she was tempted to telephone Tom and talk out her troubles, but she knew he was no longer available to her. She was lonely, frightened about the future. When she ventured forth into the cold whiteness, she felt like a tiny mite lost in the enormous deep freeze.

Twice she hung beef suet in net onion bags for the birds, and each time it was stolen by a red fox. She saw his tracks and caught glimpses of him skulking, a wary thief. Finally she carried a ladder out to a young ash tree at the edge of the woods and, teetering but climbing high, hung another chunk of suet too far up for the fox to leap. She refilled her two bird feeders daily, and from the warmth of her house she watched chickadees, several kinds of nuthatches and grosbeaks, tufted t.i.tmice, a huge hairy woodp.e.c.k.e.r, a pair of cardinals. The male cardinal p.i.s.sed her off; he always sent the female to the feeder first, in case there was danger there, and the female always went, a perpetual potential sacrifice.

When will we ever learn? R.J. asked herself.