Primitive Love and Love-Stories - Part 38
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Part 38

and no wonder, for among these Kaffirs there is "no feeling of love in marriage" (161). The German missionary Alberti relates (97) that sometimes a Kaffir girl is offered to a man in marriage. Having a.s.sured himself of her health, he claims the further privilege of a night's acquaintance; after which, if she pleases him, he proceeds to bargain for her permanent possession. Another competent and reliable observer, Stephen Kay, corresponding member of the South African Inst.i.tution, who censures Barrow sharply for his incorrect remarks on Kaffir morals, says:

"No man deems it any sin whatever to seduce his neighbor's wife: his only grounds of fear are the probability of detection, and the fine demanded by law in such cases. The females, accustomed from their youth up to this gross depravity of manners, neither manifest, nor apparently feel, any delicacy in stating and describing circ.u.mstances of the most shameful nature before an a.s.semblage of men, whose language is often obscene beyond description" (105). "Fornication is a common and crying sin. The women are well acquainted with the means of procuring miscarriage; and those means are not unfrequently resorted to without bringing upon the offender any punishment or disgrace whatever.... When adultery is clearly proved the husband is generally fully satisfied with the fine usually levied upon the delinquent.... So degraded indeed are their views on subjects of this nature ...

that the man who has thus obtained six or eight head of cattle deems it a fortunate circ.u.mstance rather than otherwise; he at once renews his intimacy with the seducer, and in the course of a few days becomes as friendly and familiar with him as ever" (141-42).

"Whenever the Kaffir monarch hears of a young woman possessed of more than ordinary beauty, and at all within his reach, he unceremoniously sends for her or fetches her himself.... Seldom or never does any young girl, residing in his immediate neighborhood, escape defilement after attaining the age of p.u.b.erty (165)."

"Widows are constantly constrained to be the servants of sin" (177).

"The following singular usage obtains universally ...

all conjugal intercourse is entirely suspended from the time of accouchement until the child be completely weaned, which seldom takes place before it is able to run about. Hence during the whole of that period, an illicit and clandestine intercourse with strangers is generally kept up by both parties, to the utter subversion of everything like attachment and connubial bliss. Something like affection is in some instances apparent for awhile, but it is generally of comparatively short duration."

Fritsch (95) describes a Kaffir custom called _U'pundhlo_ which has only lately been abolished:

"Once in awhile a troupe of young men was sent from the princ.i.p.al town to the surrounding country to capture all the unmarried girls they could get hold of and carry them away forcibly. These girls had to serve for awhile as concubines of strangers visiting the court.

After a few days they were allowed to go and their places were taken by other girls captured in the same way."

Before the Kaffirs came under the influence of civilization, this custom gave no special offence; "and why should it?" adds Fritsch, "since with the Kaffirs marriageable girls are morally free and their purity seems a matter of no special significance." When boys reach the age of p.u.b.erty, he says (109), they are circ.u.mcised;

"thereupon, while they are in the transition stage between boyhood and manhood, they are almost entirely independent of all laws, especially in their s.e.xual relations, so that they are allowed to take possession with impunity of any unmarried women they choose."

The Kaffirs also indulge in obscene dances and feasts. Warner says (97) that at the ceremony of circ.u.mcision virtue is polluted while yet in its embryo. "A really pure girl is unknown among the raw Kaffirs,"

writes Hol. "All demoraln sense of purity and shame is lost." While superst.i.tion forbids the marrying of first cousins as incestuous, real "incest in its worst forms"--between mother and sons--prevails. At the ceremony called _Ntonjane_ the young girls "are degraded and polluted at the very threshold of womanhood, and every spark of virtuous feeling annihilated" (197, 207, 185).

"Immorality," says Fritsch (112),

"is too deeply rooted in African blood to make it difficult to find an occasion for indulging in it; wherefore the custom of celebrating p.u.b.erty, harmless in itself, is made the occasion for lascivious practices; the unmarried girls choose companions with whom they cohabit as long as the festival lasts ... usually three or four days."

After giving other details, Fritsch thus sums up the situation:

"These diverse facts make it clear that with these tribes (Ama-Xosa) woman stands, if not morally, at least judicially, little above cattle, and consequently it is impossible to speak of family life in one sense of the word."

In his _Nursery Tales of the Zulus_ (255) Callaway gives an account, in the native language as well as in the English, of the license indulged in at Kaffir p.u.b.erty festivals. Young men a.s.semble from all quarters. The maidens have a "girl-king" to whom the men are obliged to give a present before they are allowed to enter the hut chosen for the meeting. "The young people remain alone and sport after their own fancies in every way." "It is a day of filthiness in which everything may be done according to the heart's desire of those who gather around the _umgongo_." The Rev. J. MacDonald, a man of scientific attainments, gives a detailed account of the incredibly obscene ceremonies to which the girls of the Zulu-Kaffirs are subjected, and the licentious yet Malthusian conduct of the young folks in general who "separate into pairs and sleep _in puris naturalibus_, for that is strictly ordained by custom." The father of a girl thus treated feels honored on receiving a present from her partner.[140]

INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCE FOR--COWS

The utter indifference of the Kaffirs to chast.i.ty and their licentiousness, approved and even prescribed by national custom, were not the only obstacle to the growth of sentiments rising above mere sensuality. Commercialism was another fatal obstacle. I have already quoted Hahn's testimony that a Kaffir "would rather have big herds of cattle than a good-looking wife." Dohne a.s.serts (Shooter, 88) that "a Kaffir loves his cattle more than his daughter," and Kay (111) tells us that

"he is scarcely ever seen shedding tears, excepting when the chief lays violent hands upon some part of his horned family; this pierces him to the heart and produces more real grief than would be evinced over the loss of wife and child."

On another page (85) he says that in time of war the poor women fall into the enemy's hands, because

"their husbands afford them no a.s.sistance or protection whatever. The preservation of the cattle const.i.tutes the grand object of their solicitude; and with these, which are trained for the purpose, they run at an astonishing rate, leaving both wives and children to take their chances."

Such being the Kaffir's relative estimation of cows and women, we might infer that in matrimonial arrangements bovine interests were much more regarded than any possible sentimental considerations; and this we find to be the case. Barrow (149) tells us that

"the females being considered as the property of their parents, are always disposed of by sale. The common price of a wife is an ox or a couple of cows. Love with them is a very confined pa.s.sion, taking but little hold on the mind. When an offer is made for the purchase of a daughter, she feels little inclination to refuse; she considers herself as an article at market, and is neither surprised, nor unhappy, nor interested, on being told that she is about to be disposed of. There is no previous courtship, no exchange of fine sentiments, no nice feelings, no attentions to catch the affections and to attach the heart."[141]

BARGAINING FOR BRIDES

The Rev. L. Grout says in his _Zululand_ (166):

"So long as the government allows the custom called _ukulobolisha_, the selling of women in marriage for cattle, just so long the richer and so, for the most part, the older and the already married man will be found, too often, the successful suitor--not indeed at the feet of the maiden, for she is allowed little or no right to a voice as to whom she shall marry, but at the hands of her heathen proprietor, who, in his degradation, looks less at the affections and preferences of his daughter than at the surest way of filling his kraal with cattle, and thus providing for buying another wife or two."

So purely commercial is the transaction that if a wife proves very fruitful and healthy, a demand for more cattle is made on her husband (165). Should she be feeble or barren he may send her back to her father and demand compensation. A favorite way is to retain a wife as a slave and go on marrying other girls as fast as the man's means allow. Theal says (213) that if a wife has no children the husband has a right to return her to her parents and if she has a marriageable sister, take her in exchange. But the acme of commercialism is reached in a Zulu marriage ceremony described by Shooter. At the wedding the matrons belonging to the bridegroom's party tell the bride that too many cows have been given for her; that she is rather plain than otherwise, and will never be able to do a married woman's work, and that altogether it is very kind of the bridegroom to condescend to marry her. Then the bride's friends have their innings. They condole with her parents on the very inadequate number of cows paid for her, the loveliest girl in the village; declare that the husband is quite unworthy of her, and ought to be ashamed for driving such a hard bargain with her parents.

Leslie's a.s.sertion (194) that it is "a mistake to imagine that a girl is sold by her father in the same manner and with the same authority with which he would dispose of a cow," is contradicted by the concurrent testimony of the leading authorities. Some of these have already been cited. The reliable Fritsch says (112) of the Ama-Xosa branch:

"It is characteristic that as a rule the inclination of the girl to be married is never consulted, but that her nearest male relatives select a husband for her to whom she is unceremoniously sent. They choose, of course, a man who can pay."

If she is a useful girl he is not likely to refuse the offer, yet he bargains to get her as cheaply as possible (though he knows that a Kaffir girl's chief pride is the knowledge that many heads of cattle were paid for her). Regarding the Ama-Zulu, Fritsch says (141-42) that the women are slaves and a wife is regarded as so much invested capital. "If she falls ill, or remains childless, so that the man does not get his money's worth, he often returns her to her father and asks his cattle back." Older and less attractive women are sometimes married off on credit, or to be paid for in instalments. "In all this," Fritsch sums up, "there is certainly little of poetry and romance, but it cannot be denied that under the influence of European residents an improvement has been effected in some quarters." He himself saw at Natal a young couple who "showed a certain interest in each other," such as one expects of married persons; but in parts untouched by European influence, he adds, true conjugal devotion is an unusual thing.

AMOROUS PREFERENCES

It is probably owing to such European influences that Theal (209) found that although a woman is not legally supposed to be consulted in the choice of a husband, in point of fact "matches arising from mutual love are not uncommon. In such cases, if any difficulties are arranged by the guardians on either side, the young people do not scruple to run away together." The word "love" in this pa.s.sage is of course used in that vague sense which indicates nothing but a preference of one man or woman to others. That a Kaffir girl should prefer a young man to an old suitor to the point of running away with him is to be expected, even if there is nothing more than a merely sensual attachment. The question how far there are any amorous preferences among Kaffirs is an interesting one. From the fact that they prefer their cows to their wives in moments of danger, we infer that though they might also like one girl better than another, such preference would be apt to prove rather weak; and this inference is borne out by some remarks of the German missionary Alberti which I will translate:

"The sentiment of tender and chaste love is as unknown to the Kaffir as that respect which is founded on agreement and moral worth. The need of mutual aid in domestic life, combined with the natural instinct for the propagation of the species, alone seem to occasion a union of young men and women which afterward gains permanence through habitual intercourse and a community of interests."

"It is true that the young man commonly seeks to gain the favor of the girl he likes before he applies to her parents, in which case, if his suit is accepted, the supreme favor is at once granted him by the girl; but inasmuch as he does not need her good will necessarily, the parental consent being sufficient to secure possession of her, he shows little zeal, and his peace of mind is not in the least disturbed by a possible refusal. Altogether, he is much less solicitous about gaining her predilection than about getting her for the lowest possible price."

Alberti was evidently a thinker as well as a careful observer. His lucid remarks gives us a deep insight into primitive conditions when love had hardly yet begun to germinate. What a worldwide difference between this languid Kaffir wooer, hardly caring whether he gets this girl or another, and the modern lover who thinks life not worth living, unless he can gain the love of his chosen one. In all the literature on the subject, I have been able to find only one case of stubborn preference among Kaffirs. Neuhaus knew a young man who refused for two years to marry the girl chosen for him by his father, and finally succeeded in having his way with another girl whom he preferred. As a matter of course, strong aversion is more frequently manifested than decided preference, especially in the case of girls who are compelled to marry old men. Neuhaus[142] saw a Zulu girl whose hands had been nearly burned off by her tormentors; he knew of two girls who committed suicide, one just before, the other just after, an enforced marriage. Grout (167) speaks of the "various kinds of torture resorted to by the father and friends of a girl to compel her to marry contrary to her choice." One girl, who had fled to his house for refuge, told him repeatedly that if delivered into the hands of her tormentors "she would be cruelly beaten as soon as they were out of sight and be subjected to every possible abuse, till she should comply with the wishes of her proprietor."

ZULU GIRLS NOT COY

Where men are so deficient in sentiment and manly instincts that one young woman seems to them about as good as another, it is hardly strange that the women too should lack those qualities of delicacy, gentleness, and modesty which make the weaker s.e.x adorable. The description of the b.l.o.o.d.y duels often fought by Kaffir women given by the British missionary Beste (Ploss, II., 421) indicates a decidedly Amazonian disposition. But the most suggestive trait of Kaffir women is the lack of feminine coyness in their matrimonial preliminaries.

According to Gardiner (97),

"it is not regarded as a matter either of etiquette or of delicacy from which side the proposal of marriage may proceed--the overture is as often made by the women as the men."

"Courtship," says Shooter (50), "does not always begin with the men."

Sometimes the girl's father proposes for her; and when a young woman does not receive an early proposal, her father or brother go from kraal to kraal and offer her till a bidder is found. Callaway (60) relates that when a young Zulu woman is ready to be married she goes to the kraal of the bridegroom, to stand there. She remains without speaking, but they understand her. If they "acknowledge" her, a goat is killed and she is entertained. If they do not like her, they give her a burning piece of firewood, to intimate that there is no fire in that kraal to warm herself by; she must go and kindle a fire for herself.[143]

CHARMS AHD POEMS

Though in all this there is considerable romance, there is no evidence of romantic love. But how about love-charms, poems, and stories?

According to Grout (171), love-charms are not unknown in Zulu land.

They are made of certain herbs or barks, reduced to a powder, and sent by the hand of some unsuspected friend to be given in a pinch of snuff, deposited in the dress, or sprinkled upon the person of the party whose favor is to be won. But love-powders argue a very materialistic way of regarding love and tell us nothing about sentiments. A hint at something more poetic is given by the Rev. J.

Tyler (61), who relates that flowers are often seen on Zulu heads, and that one of them, the "love-making posy," is said to foster "love."

Unfortunately that is all the information he gives us on this particular point, and the further details supplied by him (120-22) dash all hopes of finding traces of sentiment. The husband "eats alone," and when the wife brings him a drink of home-made beer "she must first sip to show there is no 'death in the pot.'" While he guzzles beer, loafs, smokes, and gossips, she has to do all the work at home as well as in the field, carrying her child on her back and returning in the evening with a bundle of firewood on her head. "In the winter the natives a.s.semble almost daily for drinking and dancing, and these orgies are accompanied by the vilest obscenities and evil practices."

As regards poems Wallaschek remarks (6) that "the Kaffir in his poetry only recognizes a threefold subject: war, cattle, and excessive adulation of his ruler." One Kaffir love-poem, or rather marriage-poem, I have been able to find (Shooter, 236), and it is delightfully characteristic:

We tell you to dig well, Come, girl of ours, Bring food and eat it; Fetch fire-wood And don't be lazy.

A KAFFIR LOVE-STORY