If this is

the real end – 3

            Silver

hairs and purple eyes, that were my little sister’s attributes. Since her birth

Silvia had been special for our parents. Even though I didn’t ask her to, a

young maid who loved to gossip had told me various information I had not wished

to hear. Like the fact that those colors my parents didn’t possess had probably

come from her biological mother. 

“… You are having your lunch in such

a place?”

            In

the back yard of the academy, I was seating on a lonely bench that had been left

alone as if it had been forgotten, the light meal prepared by the chef of the

estate spread in front of me, when suddenly a quiet voice echoed. When I looked

up, the student’s uniform told me he was from the knight curriculum. Since the

color of his necktie indicated he was an uppercla.s.sman, I tried to stand up to

greet him but he brushed his hand to force me to stay seated. From that

gesture, I sensed he was someone of high standing. I was asked if it was

alright to sit beside me, but I promptly shook my head to refuse. It wasn’t good

for a person with a fiancé to be alone with someone of the opposite gender. It

would be a different story if maids and servants had been with us, but after I quickly

looked around I saw that no one was there. While inside the academy it could be

said we were all fellow students, because everyone was from the n.o.bility it was

simply better to be careful. The fact that everyone was of n.o.ble origin meant

there was a high possibility that everyone had a partner decided since

childhood. Just shaking my head might not convey my refusal clearly enough, so

I softly phrased my rejection. But when I did that the man from the knight

division made a puzzled expression and tilted his head. It was an expression

that said he never expected to be turned down. Gazing at his face, I realized

that it seemed vaguely familiar. When you were part of the high society, you

will become acquainted with most people. I had never talked to him but when I

was looking from afar, I might have seen him have a friendly chat with Soleil.

The way he carried himself seemed to indicated n.o.body ever refused him, meaning

he was of a high social standing. Perhaps he was the person from the rumors

that started several weeks ago, the foreign student who came from the neighbor

country.

            If

I remembered correctly, it should have been someone from an eminent n.o.ble

family.

            If

so, rejecting his request was not a profitable option. However, I wasn’t

confident he really was the man from the rumor, so I thought I should not act

carelessly since there was no positive proof. Even at the best of times, rumors

that Soleil and I had some discord between us were already circulating. If it

became known that I had been alone with someone of the opposite s.e.x, the blame

would likely fall on me. No matter how Soleil conducted himself, it was hardly

probable he would be criticized. Because that was what it meant to be the son

of a marquis. 

            Keeping

my face down to avoid to meet his eyes, I put the fruit I was holding back in

the basket. I knew fully well it wasn’t a proper att.i.tude, however, if I abided

by the custom of this country, it was not the time to inquire about his mood. Because

I didn’t know if someone would see us, I must leave that place as soon as

possible. In the case he was really the foreign student from the neighbor

country, I thought that my impolite behavior might become a problem, but there

was no other choice but to feign and pretend being completely ignorant. 

“… You, under that expressionless

face of yours, you are thinking about various things, right?”

            Apparently,

he seemed to have been observing me all that time. Mixed in his voice was a

clear puff of laugher. I understood I was been laughed at but because I had not

expected such a foolish manner of speaking I rose my head in spite of myself.

Then, I met eyes with him who was standing, looking at me. When I swallowed a

small breath and slightly bent my upper body,

“Don’t be frightened so much” he

said with a bitter smile.

            That

gentle and intimate atmosphere strengthened my wariness on the contrary. In all

my lives which repeat constantly, the people who tried to trick me always made

a friendly expression. The great number of experiences I had acc.u.mulated until

now taught me how to avoid danger, but it wasn’t always useful. No matter how

careful I was and how many precautions I took, at the moment I failed, I’d

fall. And once that happened, I couldn’t stop it with my own strength.  

“While I might be lacking in some

aspects… I am also a n.o.bleman’s daughter, so being alone with a man other than

my fiancé is…”

            Although

I didn’t finish my sentence to explain it wasn’t a good thing, my expression

said it all. I specially chose words that would convey that staying here was

troublesome for me since I had a fiancé. If the other was not greatly

thickheaded, then he should comprehend my meaning. However, that man answered

flatly with a dull, “Is that so?” before falling silent.

            For

some reason he didn’t show any signs of intending to leave, so I made up my

mind to surrender that place myself. As I got up while tidying up my meal,

“… It seems like I somehow got in

your way, right?” he said as he sat down on the bench without asking for

permission this time.

            I

shook my head and told him, “No, I was thinking it was about time to return to

the cla.s.sroom.” The indigo blue eyes of the man looked up at me who was

standing. That color that couldn’t be described as bright awaken a feeling of

nostalgia. If you saw it from a more sunny place, that color would surely be

close to black.

“But you haven’t eaten at all.”

            That unexpected retort caught me off

guard just when I had bend a knee to say farewell.

“I think there is no need to be in

such hurry. There’s still plenty of time left. So, won’t you lend me a bit more

of your time?... Ilya Il Machisse-sama.”

            While

I was considerably shaken to hear him say my name without any hesitation, the

thought, “as expected he knew,” also crossed my mind. If he was from an

important family from the neighboring country, then he probably had learnt the

custom of the place he intended to study in. Then he knew it wasn’t desirable

to be alone with someone of the opposite gender who had a fiancé, and he

purposely decided to disregard it. Despite being from a third ranked earl

family of ancient and honorable descent, it was only a family lineage that was

neither bad nor good, so him knowing my name brought me a sense of discomfort.

Moreover, I was also convinced that he knew I was Soleil’s fiancé. Since

Soleil’s home was a well-known marquis house, everyone knew about it. Moreover

it wouldn’t be strange for his family to have friendly ties with high ranked aristocrats

from other countries.

“…Oh? You don’t seem surprised.”

            His

carefree voice echoed in that extremely quiet garden. To begin with, this place

was located at the most secluded inner part of the backyard, somewhere people

seldom came. That was why I was having my lunch here. Because I didn’t have to

mind the gazes of others, I didn’t have to deceive people with words, and I

think I needed to have some time alone.

“No, I am quite surprised.”

            In

fact, because of the excessive astonishment words wouldn’t come out and I

needed to take a small breath to calm down. As if they were trying to not miss

the slightest of my movements, those indigo eyes were staring fixedly at me. If

he had something to tell me I wished he would do it quickly.

“Your face won’t show your true

nature. You’re the same as me.”

            He

laughed softly, and his attractive expression was full of youthfulness, but

with this few minutes of conversation, I understood he wasn’t a person whose

words and expression should be taken at face value. It wasn’t my first time

confronting someone whose real intention couldn’t be read, but I had no

intention to bargain with a complete stranger like him. In other words, I had

no interest in learning what kind of person he was.

            However,

once you missed the right opportunity, it was hard to grab the chance to leave.

            By

deliberately observing me with his fixed gaze, by making me aware of this

action of his, he wanted to see how I would react. Because human beings were

creatures whose true nature came out in a momentary action.   

“… By the way, the fact you’re here

all by yourself, is it because Soleil-dono is in the cafeteria with your little

sister?”

            The

eyes of this man who said that like it was something of very little concern

looked at me as if they wanted to probe me. Did he plan to launch a sudden

attack? But when I was about to frown because of this odd feeling of tension he

purposely created, I reflexively smiled instead. Seeing that, my opponent

showed an evident admiration and blinked several times. He probably thought I

was just an ordinary young girl and looked down on me. Certainly, if it had

been before that tea party, I might have become fl.u.s.tered and raised my voice.

On the contrary, I would probably have even denied the fact that Soleil and

Silvia were together. Even if I knew the truth I wouldn’t have accept it. If it

had been the me from several months ago, there is no doubt I would have react

like this.

“Soleil-sama is taking great care of

my little sister. I have also been quite spoiled and allowed to depend on him.”

“… Spoiled and dependent?”

“I also have times when I wish to be

alone and slip out from everyone’s view. However, my little sister enrolled in

this academy just recently. She might become uneasy so it is best to have

someone stay by her side. Originally it should have been my role to take care

of her, but that child adores Soleil-sama like an older brother, so I entrusted

her to him.

            The

words flew out without needing me to think deeply about it. There were many

people who were suspicious of Soleil and Silvia’s relations.h.i.+p and were probing

me, his fiancé, about it. They either were simply harboring a sense of justice

and were trying to expose Soleil’s faithlessness, or trying to ridicule me. Or

there were also those who wanted to meddle in Soleil and Silvia’s relation to

help them achieve their love. There were various reasons. Every time, I

answered with that appropriate excuse. And now it was evidently that time. Time

to do the ‘work’ I had completely become accustomed to.  

“…A ‘brother’, you said. That’s…”

            My

remark made him heave a long sigh. That elegant and eminent n.o.ble from a

foreign country made a subtle expression both like a sarcastic smile and a

discouraged face. I didn’t know what kind of reactions he was trying to draw

out from me, but what he expected was surely different from my reply. However

after a short moment of silent he took a small breath and continued,

“But, that’s not how others see it,

right?”

            It

was the reaction I had imagined.

“… Well, it is hard to tell. I

cannot fathom what other people think.”

            When

I showed him an expression of complete curiosity, he heaved a truly heavy sigh.

That exaggerated breath would effectively make your opponent shrank if you were

in his position. I didn’t understand what he was after, but…

“Somehow, you… are different from

what I imagined.”

            That

pair of eyes which was looking up at me with a thoroughly perplexed appearance,

had in fact become the gossip of the academy lately. Originally, n.o.bles would

often get married with fellow aristocrats of beautiful appearances, so they had

quite gorgeous looks, but even among them it could be said that he stood out

quite a lot. That this plain appearance of mine was unnoticeable might be

because this kind of person existed. The expression “standing out in a bad way”

was surely a perfect description for me.

“I do not know how you imagined me

to be but… will you be done soon?”

            If you have no business with me, I want to

leave immediately. I said this frankly. Then, the man shrugged both

shoulders and declared without any shame, “But I haven’t even start talking

with you yet.”

            I

felt like your exchange was somewhat meaningless.

“… What kind of business do you have

with me?”

            The

way things were going, it didn’t seem like he would disclose his intentions, so

there was no other choice but to take the stand to hear his story.

“Well, first. Let me introduce

myself. Because you don’t seem to know me.”

            He

laughed and his smiled deepened, making me notice the situation wasn’t heading

in a good direction for me. It wasn’t appropriate to interrupt his words here.

But if possible, I wanted to keep not knowing his name. Once we knew each other

name, from that moment we would become something similar to “acquaintances”. If

that happened, from now on, I won’t be able to pretend I didn’t know him when

I’ll meet him. He probably completely understood this. That was why he was

showing this smile that looked so refreshed it was unpleasant. 

“Let’s start once again, young lady.

My name is Saion Topias. I came from a nearby country to study.”

“A nearby country…?”

            Since

it wasn’t an official presentation, he didn’t say his full name. If it had been

a formal event like a ball, abbreviating one’s name was strictly forbidden. It

would be seen as making light of the other party. According to his expression,

it didn’t seem like he was looking down on me, but there might be some deeper

meaning to the fact he didn’t give me his formal name. Besides, why did he not

say the name of his country? If he was the foreign student from the rumor, then

there would be no need to investigate and it would be easy to find out.

            And

more than anything, there was his name, “Saion”. If I didn’t hear it wrong, at

that lunch several days ago Soleil and Silvia had brought up that name,

moreover they said it with quite some familiarity. That being the case, it

meant he was certainly acquainted with the two of them. And he had especially

come in contact with me, Soleil’s fiancé. Although I also took in consideration

that he happened to stumble upon this place by coincidence, that possibility

was quite low. It would still have been more natural to approach me through

Soleil.    

“Ah, it’s good. That expression.

That’s the expression I wanted to see.”

            I

was probably showing a suspicious expression. Saion smiled delightfully and

leaned his upper body on the back of the bench. … That unfathomable

self-introduction he gave, I guessed it was merely to stir me up. After all

this, I didn’t feel like continuing to keep up appearances and decided to

simply watch the situation upfold.

“In my country, political marriages

are becoming a bad habit of the past era.”

            Suddenly

his eyes that were looking at me narrowed. A third party might have wondered

why he abruptly started to talk about that, but in light of the circ.u.mstances

surrounding me, I could naturally see where this topic was headed.

“Of course, it doesn’t extend to the

aristocracy. The profits brought by political unions are large, there are also

some times when choosing this is preferable in order to carry out one’s duty as

a n.o.ble. So, well, in the end, it mainly concerns the general populace.”

“…”

“But, still it means that there is a

bigger understanding and acceptation of marriage out of love than in this

country.”

            Until

a certain time, more precisely until that tea party, there was no doubt it was

quite visible. I would personally speak with Soleil in the academy, and while I

didn’t remember being particularly close to Soleil, before I knew it, my eyes

would always chase after his silhouette. I kept in check the women who

approached him, so it was very easy to understand what emotions I harbored

toward Soleil. But after the tea party, Silvia started attending the academy,

and as the distance between her and Soleil shortened, I began intentionally

avoiding them. Soleil was my fiancé, Silvia was my little sister. So, if the

two of them were having lunch together, I could also join them. It wouldn't be unnatural,

rather for Silvia’s sake it might have been better.

            However,

I didn’t do that. Seeing them together was painful. Being at their side was distressing.

When I was with them, memories I didn’t want to remember would surface. That

was why I tried to keep some distance between us. But because of these emotions

I couldn’t abandon, completely distancing myself was impossible.

“Say, what are your thoughts about

separating two people who have feelings for each other?”

            Saion

who slowly got up from the bench stood beside me and whispered this like he was

telling me a secret. Those words sank to the depth of my ear as if their had

the weight of stones. When one’s standpoint changed, the viewpoint would also

change. That’s was a matter of course. From my standpoint, the one who was separating

I and Soleil was Silvia. From Silvia’s standpoint, the one who was tearing her

and Soleil apart was me. As for the people around us, they would side with

their friends and allies and look at our relations from that standpoint. In other

words, Saion wasn’t my ally.   

“You should release him.”

            Right? Saying this like it was a trivial

thing, Saion turned his heels. I had no words to return at that departing

figure. I wondered if my existence was such an eyesore? Even though instead, the

one who wanted to be set free was me. I couldn’t tell what I should say or do.

            In

one of my previous lives, that Soleil and Silvia were able to get married was

because the circ.u.mstances had allowed it. Because the wedding ceremony couldn’t

be cancelled, and I had fled two days before it. As it had been necessary to

find a replacement for me, inevitably Silvia had to take on the responsibility.

Unless it was that much of an impending situation, my parents would not have let

go of Silvia. Since that was so, with the current situation even if Soleil and

I were to cancel our marriage, I didn’t think that Silvia would be chosen as

his partner. To begin with, because the Silvia at this point in time didn’t possess

enough refinement and education to become the next marquis’s wife, no matter

how much Soleil yearned for her, his house won’t approve it.

            All

those various circ.u.mstances, Saion wasn’t aware of them. And precisely because

he didn’t know, he was chasing after his ideals and wishes, seeking to fulfill

his hopes.

            As

their friend, it wasn’t strange for him to dream about a future where the two lovers

could be together.    

“… Hey! You, how long do you plan to

stay in such a place?”

            From

a little far away, Saion who had turned toward here said that in a loud voice.

It might be to inform me that lunch break was over, or he might be trying to make

me aware of my current condition. But, yes, really…

            …

I, how long, will I stay in that place?

Nocta’s thoughts:

I’m not really good with coming up

with name from the katakana. I don’t dislike Saion (it’s not as worse as having

to write Soleil= Sun in French for a name) but if anyone has a better

suggestion, feel free to share it.

Saion Topias

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