And my round the houses I tried to dry [9]

By the Anna Maria's heat. [10]

He stuck to the I'm so to drown his cares, While I went for the far and near, [11]

Until the clock on the apples and pears [12]

Gave the office for us to clear. [13]

III

Then round at the club we'd another bout, And I fixed him at nap until I had turned his skyrockets inside out, [14]

And had managed my own to fill, Of course, I had gone on the half-ounce trick,[15]

And we quarrelled, and came to blows; But I fired him out of the Roiy quick, And he fell on his I suppose. [16]

IV

And he laid there, weighing out prayers for me, Without hearing the plates of meat [17]

Of a slop, who pinched him for "d. and d." [18]

And disturbing a peaceful beat, And I smiled as I closed my two mince pies [19]

In my insect promenade; For out of his nibs I had taken a rise, [20]

And his stay on the spot was barred.

V

Next morning I brushed up my Barnet Fair, [21]

And got myself up pretty smart; Then I sallied forth with a careless air, And contented raspberry tart. [22]

At the first big pub I resolved, if pos., [23]

That I'd sample my lucky star; So I pa.s.sed a flimsy on to the boss [24]

Who served drinks at the there you are. [25]

VI

He looked at the note, and the air began With his language to pen and ink; [26]

For the mug I'd fleeced had been his head man, [27]

And had done him for lots of c.h.i.n.k. [28]

I'm blessed if my luck doesn't hum and ha, For I argued the point with skill; But the once a week made me go ta-ta [29]

For a month on the can't keep still. [30]

[1: without drink]

[2: coat]

[3: rain]

[4: swell; row]

[5: get away]

[6: rap]

[7: drunk]

[8: drink]

[9: trousers]

[10: fire]

[11: beer]

[12: stairs]

[13: warning]

[14: pockets]

[15: bounce]

[16: nose]

[17: feet]

[18: policeman; arrested; drunk and disorderly]

[19: eyes ]

[20: him; advantage]

[21: hair]

[22: heart]

[23: possible]

[24: banknote]

[25: bar]

[26: stink]

[27: fellow; cheated]

[28: robbed; money]

[29: beak]

[30: everlasting wheel=mill]

WOT CHER! [Notes]

_or, Knocked 'em in the Old Kent Rd._ [1892]

[By ALBERT CHEVALIER].

I

Last week down our alley come a toff, [1]

Nice old geezer with a nasty cough, [2]

Sees my Missus, takes 'is topper off [3]

In a very gentlemanly way!

"Ma'am," says he, "I 'ave some news to tell, Your rich Uncle Tom of Camberwell, Popped off recent, which it ain't a sell, [4]

Leaving you 'is little Donkey Shay."

"Wot cher!" all the neighbours cried, "Who're yer goin' to meet, Bill?

Have yer bought the street, Bill?"

Laugh! I thought I should 'ave died, Knock'd 'em in the Old Kent Road! [5]

II

Some says nasty things about the moke, [6]

One cove thinks 'is leg is really broke, [7]

That's 'is envy, cos we're carriage folk, Like the toffs as rides in Rotten Row!

Straight! it woke the alley up a bit, [8]

Thought our lodger would 'ave 'ad a fit, When my missus, who's a real wit, Says, "I 'ates a Bus, because it's low!"

"Wot cher!" &c.

III

When we starts the blessed donkey stops, He won't move, so out I quickly 'ops, Pals start whackin' him, when down he drops, Someone says he wasn't made to go.

Lor it might 'ave been a four-in-'and, My Old Dutch knows 'ow to do the grand, [9]