She allowed Qin Linfeng to lead her back to the orphanage, taking her to one of the rooms upstairs where the children were waiting for their return. She'd noticed that they'd washed up and changed their clothes to new ones after playing outside. 

Qin Linfeng asked her to take a seat on the vacant chair near the window, but it was enough to see the children from her spot, before he stood in front and asked for everyone's attention with a clap. 

Her thoughts were cut short when Qin Linfeng reminded the children to behave and not to argue especially now that their 'Sister Ying' was visiting them despite her condition. He also told them to treat this encounter as a first meeting once again. 

And just like that, the children sat up straight with serious expressions on their faces. One by one, they re-introduced their names in a polite manner, which amused Li Chuntao. Her visit today had broken some of her false a.s.sumptions. 

"Since your Sister Ying cannot lead our activity today, would you mind if I lead this session?" Qin Linfeng asked them and the children told him they didn't mind at all. They were used to having Sister Ying listen to their worries and fears, but now they didn't know how to start. 

"Alright. I'll start first. When I heard that Miss Ying was involved in an accident, I was really scared…" Qin Lifeng's intro immediately captured everyone's attention. Some of the children nodded their heads as they felt the same way. 

"You see, Miss Ying is one of my closest friends. Someone who never gets tired of listening to my complaints and is always willing to offer me some solutions to solve those problems." 

Little Su Mei raised her hand to get Qin Linfeng's attention. 

"Me too! Me too! I cried when they said Sister Ying was hurt!" She said with a pout. 

The boy beside her snorted and nodded his head. 

"Yes, yes. We know about it, Su Mei. You have been crying for days begging everyone to bring you to Sister Ying." 

Li Chuntao was moved to hear such words from other people who loved her sister, aside from their family. She understood now that she wasn't alone. There were other people who also cared about Ying and would be devastated if they found out the truth. 

Qin Linfeng looked at her way and smiled knowingly. This was the same reason why he decided to agree to keep Li Xiuying's death a secret. However, this also meant that Li Chuntao would have to take care of everything Ying has left behind. 

She had a choice to continue what Ying had started or drop everything all together. No one will blame her if she does since she wasn't really Ying in the first place. 

Li Chuntao silently listened as Qin Linfeng and the children continued their talk and by the looks of it, she can't really abandon them like this. Not when their innocent eyes were watching her expectantly. 

"Does Sister Ying also feel the same? Do you also fear and worry that you're not remembering anything?" One of the children asked her. 

Li Chuntao automatically smiled at the question. Which person have never felt worry and fear in their lifetime? Even a person with a heart as cold as ice would experience feeling lost and vulnerable. 

"Of course, I also feel the same. There were times when I wondered what I could have done in the past to avoid the accident from happening. There were so many what-ifs that crossed my mind, but I know it doesn't matter now since I can't change anything in the past and can only make sure to do better in the future." She paused, watching as Qin Linfeng smiled at her, but she ignored it. 

Doctor Qin was impressed that she was taking the question seriously, answering the children truthfully as Li Chuntao, not as the Sister Ying they were accustomed to. He was aware that Li Chuntao also had to face this herself.

"Mistakes do happen but we can't let them get the rein in our lives, forbidding us to move forward." She added. 

The talk then s.h.i.+fted to one of the children about them not being adopted by any family. The child was worried that it was because she was a sickly child and not beautiful enough so parents wouldn't choose her. 

Li Chuntao wasn't sure how to answer her. Ying might have known the right words to say to make another person feel better but she didn't. She wasn't good at this. She never was good enough at expressing her true emotions. 

Thinking about it, it must have started since their parents' death. Li Chuntao remembered crying for days, making Li Yuren and Ying worry about her. Seeing that she was causing them trouble, Li Chuntao had decided to keep everything to herself, to deal with her own problems alone. 

While she somewhat understood what it feels like to be an orphan, Li Chuntao never considered herself to be one even as a kid. Growing up, she and Ying were lucky to have their Uncle Yuren and Auntie Yue by their side. The parental love they needed was fulfilled by them. 

"You know, it's hard to change one's opinion, especially if they already have a prejudice even before you attempt to explain your side, but is this an issue? Would you change yourself for a person who doesn't really see your value? If you want to change or improve, do it for your own sake not because someone asks you to." Qin Linfeng answered them instead of Li Chuntao who was still trying to come up with her own answer. 

"Just look at your Sister Ying. She had suffered from memory loss but do you love her less now that she'd forgotten about you?" 

The children simultaneously shook their heads. How can they not like their Sister Ying? It's impossible. They can never hate her ever. She was the big sister they never had. 

"Does she need to earn back her memories first before you accept her again as your Sister Ying?" He added. The children shook their heads again. "See? If a person likes you, they'll be able to see past your flaws. They'll be able to love you for who you are. If those families refuse to take you in, you have a family here on your own. You have your Sister Ying who loves you so much."

Li Chuntao was astounded by his patience in explaining his opinion. Although these kids were still young, they were able to comprehend what Qin Linfeng was saying. If it was her, she might have said, 'Who cares? The only thing that matters is how you perceive yourself.'

She was someone who learned not to put expectations on other people because once you expect too much, they will take advantage of you. No matter how one tries to be a better person, she must understand not all people have the same heart as hers. 

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