"So am I," said Zel. "Any idea why?"

"Nope," said Dawn. "But lets just keep going until we find out."

"I like that plan," said Faith.

And beneath the penetrating gazes of her three friends, who, she knew, wouldnt relent until theyd gotten to the truth, Mercy finally gave in. "OK, fine," she said in exasperation. "You win. I give up. The reason our conversation was so short was because we got sidetracked by s.e.x."

At that bombsh.e.l.l there was a stunned silence and Mercy instantly wished shed put it a bit more delicately. Or not at all.

"s.e.x?" said Faith, the first to recover.

"You and Seb?" said Dawn.

"Its not what it sounds like," said Mercy, backtracking, although really, what was the point?

Dawn gave her a look. "How can it not be what it sounds like?"

"Seb distracted me," said Mercy, feeling a bit sick as she turned to Zelda, willing her not to hate her for what shed done. "He seduced me. Deliberately, I now know. I went to talk to him because I couldnt believe what you said about him not being interested in what you got up to. I thought that it was just because youd been out of touch and he didnt know. I thought that if he knew youd gone into rehab, that you were sorting yourself out hed help. But he shut the discussion down before it even started."

"With the s.e.x?" said Faith.

"Yes."

"b.a.s.t.a.r.d," said Dawn.

"No," said Mercy, swivelling round and shaking her head. "Well, yes, maybe. I mean, he started it. But I wasnt exactly an unwilling partic.i.p.ant." Far from it. Shed been very willing indeed. Mortifyingly so.

"Why didnt you tell me?" said Zelda, no longer looking quite as stunned as she was a minute ago.

"It was hardly my finest moment, Zel. Id gone to talk about you and ended up in bed with him. I felt terribly guilty. I was disgusted by my behavior, and then appalled at his when I realized some time later that it must have been nothing more than a diversionary tactic. I just wanted to forget about it. Besides, I couldnt tell you at the time. You had enough to be dealing with. And then later I thought that maybe youd be horrified if you knew, betrayed most likely, and I didnt want to lose you."

"You wouldnt have."

"I wasnt sure."

"You wouldnt have. Really."

"Theres something else," said Mercy, feeling even more sick. "Seb had a nightmare about the accident the night we spent together. It made me wonder whether he blamed himself and think that maybe he did. I should have told you. Im sorry I didnt."

Zel frowned for a moment as she absorbed this, then her face cleared. "In all honesty, I doubt Id have believed it," she said. "I wasnt exactly in a good place. But whatever you did or didnt do, Mercy, you wouldnt have lost me and I wouldnt have felt betrayed." She paused. Studied her drink for a moment then looked back up, a faint smile curving her lips. "In fact I think Im kind of tickled."

Mercy stared at her. "Tickled?"

Zelda nodded. "You rattled him, which proves hes not entirely made of stone. Hes at least partly human. And you got through to him. He listened to you. Twice, now. And he must have cared about me a bit to come and see me in rehab." Her expression turned thoughtful. "And perhaps its a good thing I didnt know about your one night stand. If Id known about the shabby way he treated you I might have given up on him once and for all and that would have been a shame."

"Dont let it come between you now," said Mercy, meaning every word of it. "Please."

"Really?" said Zel, a wicked gleam appearing in her eye. "I could beat him up for you if youd like."

"Id rather you didnt mention it to him at all, actually."

Zel looked at her for a moment, then nodded. "OK, I wont. But the offer still stands."

"Thank you, but its fine," said Mercy, aiming for dismissive with a small shrug and a quick smile. "It was a long time ago anyway. Water under the bridge. Entirely forgettable."

"Oh," said Faith, looking a bit deflated. "Was it? You used to have some pretty explicit dreams from what I remember. Did the s.e.x not meet up to your expectations?"

"Im not sure I need to hear this," muttered Zelda with a wince.

"Aw, come on," said Faith. "I have to live with the knowledge that you and Dawn are banging my brothers. What goes around comes around." She turned to Mercy. "So spill."

Abandoning her drink Zel clapped her hands over ears and started humming to herself.

"It more than met my expectations," said Mercy in a low voice, going warm with the memory of it. "The whole night was incredible." Until the morning, when it wasnt.

Faiths mouth dropped open. "The whole night?"

Mercy nodded. "Pretty much."

Faith sighed dramatically. "So Im the only one of the four of us whos never had really great s.e.x. How unfair is that?"

"Your time will come," said Dawn, reaching over and pulling Zeldas hands from her ears.

"And to be fair, Ive only had s.e.x like it the once," said Mercy.

"No one else has matched up?" asked Faith.

"Something like that," she hedged, although it was actually worse than that. There had been no one else, period. Seb had seen to that. Ever since him, every time she dated anyone she invariably found herself questioning their motives, and any mood that might be developing swiftly died. Frustrating didnt come close.

"Maybe you should go for it again," said Dawn.

Mercy started. Blinked. "Go for what again?"

"s.e.x with Seb."

"Lalalala," said Zelda, clamping her hands over her ears.

Mercy ignored her and stared at Dawn, who had for some reason clearly lost her ever-loving mind. "Why?"

"Why not?" said Dawn. "Youve always wanted him and it sounds to me like hes attracted to you."

"No, he isnt." He really wasnt. That night had been all about manipulation, nothing more.

"Do you honestly think he would have taken you to bed just to shut you up?" said Dawn. "Bit drastic if you ask me."

"She has a point," said Faith.

No. She didnt. She hadnt been there. Dawn had simply come down with a bad case of I-want-everyone-to-be-as-happy-as-me-itis. "He knew I had a crush on him," said Mercy. "He can hardly have failed to. I mean, I wasnt exactly subtle about it, was I? Firstly there was that Christmas I spent with you, Zel." She cringed inwardly as the mortifying lengths shed gone to to get Sebs attention fluttered into her memory. "I batted my eyelashes at him so much I pulled a muscle in my right eyelid. And he couldnt have been less interested. Every time I tried to engage him in conversation he simply walked away. So embarra.s.sing... And then remember that morning we were all sitting outside the Mother Superiors office? I sighed like a pathetic lovestruck fool and he looked at me like he could see right into my soul. If he hadnt guessed before, he certainly knew how I felt about him then, and he stored it up and used it five years later to manipulate me."

Dawn looked at her shrewdly. "Did he actually say that, though?"

Mercy frowned, trying to remember the conversation from that Friday night three weeks ago. "Well, maybe not exactly," she conceded. "But I put it to him, and he didnt deny it."

"Thats not quite the same."

"Close enough."

Dawn hmmed. "Did he try the same thing when you confronted him after the party?"

"No."

"Why not?" she said. "Same circ.u.mstances, right?"

"More or less."

"And he let you give him a piece of your mind?"

Mercy nodded. "All of it. Until I left."

"Why didnt he do that the previous time?"

Mercy opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again. "I dont know," she said, confused.

"Consider this, then," said Dawn, evidently seeing the finishing line and going for it. "If Seb really hadnt wanted to talk five years ago he could have simply thrown you out. He didnt have to seduce you. And he didnt have to carry on doing so. Its a pretty difficult act to keep up if youre not really into it."

Yes, it was quite, wasnt it? But "Youre wrong."

"I dont think I am."

Mercy frowned, now totally muddled. "Either way," she said, trying to get a grip on something she did know. "I dont have time for s.e.x."

"Everyone has time for s.e.x," said Dawn, who was clearly getting a lot of it. "Good s.e.x, anyway."

"Not me," said Mercy, shaking her head and ignoring the stab of envy. "Im six weeks into a tough two-year MBA program and Im not going to screw it up for anything, least of all a relationship."

"Whos talking about relationships?" said Dawn. "Does Seb even do relationships?"

"No evidence of it," put in Zelda, who stopped humming to contribute. "In the months I was living at the Mausoleum I never saw any sign of a date."

So what was Dawn suggesting? "I couldnt just use him for s.e.x," said Mercy, faintly appalled.

"Why not?" said Dawn bluntly. "Wasnt that what he apparently did to you?"

"Well, yes, I suppose so, but-"

"Ah, revenge s.e.x," said Faith wistfully. "Could be good. That scar is s.e.xy as h.e.l.l."

"I have to agree," said Dawn. "So why dont you take a moment to think it over, Mercs? And in the meantime, Ill get some more drinks."

A moment? A moment? Mercy needed a lifetime to sort out the mess in her head and even that wouldnt be long enough.

Drinks were bought, conversation continued, laughter abounded, and it all went straight over her head because she could barely even think what with all the questions racing through her mind.

What had brought about Sebs change of heart with regards to Zelda? she couldnt stop wondering. How had he gone from so adamantly refusing to admit there was a problem between him and his sister to seeking a reconciliation? Did it have anything to do with what shed said, or was it something else? And why did the reason for it matter when surely all that was important was that something which only recently had seemed utterly impossible was actually happening?

And then and more annoyingly she kept asking herself why had he slept with her all those years ago? Did Dawn have a point? Could he have taken one look at her and been overwhelmed with l.u.s.t? Unlikely, but maybe it could have happened. After all, shed taken one look at him and had wanted him. Or not. Was he merely the manipulative pendejo shed always considered him?

Agh. She was going round in circles. Driving herself nuts. She wasnt sure how much longer she could stand it. And she was drinking orange juice now so she couldnt even drown her sorrows in alcohol. Not that that was ever a good thing because, well, look at Zel, but still. She could do with some help here.

"Are you all right?" asked Zelda in response to her sigh, which had evidently been deeper, longer and more noticeable than shed thought.

"Im fine."

"Youve been very quiet," said Faith.

Yes, well, who wouldnt be? "Things on my mind," she muttered. "Questions."

And she wanted answers, she realized suddenly. Maybe shed be prodding a hornets nest. Maybe she ought to just leave things well alone, concentrate on her studies and leave the ground clear for Seb and Zel to muddle their way through the train wreck of their relationship without interference. But generally she wasnt good at letting things lie. And she wouldnt get a moments peace until she knew.

"Would you mind if I went to see Seb and got some answers?" she said to Zelda, her heart beginning to pound because maybe that wasnt all she was asking permission for although she really didnt want to think about what else she might want from him.

Zel shook her head and smiled. "Go."

Chapter Four.

Seb was staring at his computer screen when the phone on his desk rang, although really, he didnt know why he was bothering. Hed been putting in twelve hour days at the office for the last three or so weeks, ostensibly working on the Foundations spending strategy for the next five years, but for all that hed achieved he might as well not have turned up at all. His concentration was shot and his productivity was at an all time low, and it was all because of Mercedes b.l.o.o.d.y Hernandez, who, contrary to all his expectations at the time had turned his life upside down because he didnt know whether to be grateful to her for provoking him into talking to Zelda or furious that shed meddled in the first place and caused him the kind of emotional grief hed managed to avoid for so long.

Stifling a sigh of the weary exasperation that had dogged him for days now he picked up the receiver. "Yes?"

"I have a Mercedes Hernandez in reception for you."

For a second Seb froze, then he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose because, oh, well, this was just great. As if she hadnt been on his mind pretty much constantly recently, now she was here? At his office? Why? What did she want this time?

Well, he was going to find out, wasnt he, because one of the many conclusions hed had no choice but to reach lately was that ignoring things didnt make them go away. It merely buried them until one day someone, perhaps one gorgeous, s.e.xy and irritating as h.e.l.l Argentinian, decided to dig them up. Facing up to whatever was thrown at him was what he was going to do from now on, hed decided, and if tonight that was to be Mercy then so be it.

"Thanks, Linda, send her up," he said, cutting the call, getting to his feet and walking round to the other side of his desk against which he intended to lean in a 'My turf, Im in charge sort of way. Which he most definitely was because Mercy might have blind-sided him the other night but he was more than ready for her now.