KITTY. Oh, that is nice!

OLD BAILEY [_to_ Sh.o.r.eDITCH]. But when will you pay me?

[_Sings_] "When will you pay me? says the bell of Old Bailey."

Sh.o.r.eDITCH [_sings, smiling_]. "When I grow rich, says the bell of Sh.o.r.editch."

OLD BAILEY. That's all very well, but it's a long time to wait. You put back that orange and give me back the pennies.

[_They begin fighting, their bells making a noise as they do so.

Enter STEPNEY and BOW, ringing bells, STEPNEY in front._

STEPNEY. Stepney!

BOW. And Bow!

STEPNEY. Stepney!

BOW. And Bow! [_They look at the boys fighting._

BOW. What's all this about?

OLD BAILEY. I've lent this Sh.o.r.editch boy twopence, and he says he'll pay me when he grows rich.

STEPNEY [_to Sh.o.r.eDITCH, sings_]. "When will that be? says the bell of Stepney." [_Sh.o.r.eDITCH shakes his head and laughs._

BOW [_in a deep voice, sings_]. "I'm sure I don't know, says the big bell of Bow."

OLD BAILEY. Don't know, indeed!

BOW. Well, don't quarrel on Bellringers' Day. Let's make a great noise and disturb the neighbours, that's much more amusing. Come on now, let's each shout something.

[_Each one sings a line, ringing the bell on the first beat of the bar._

KITTY. Oranges and lemons, says the bell of St. Clement's.

ST. M. You owe me five farthings, says the bell of St. Martin's.

OLD BAILEY. When will you pay me? says the bell of Old Bailey.

Sh.o.r.eDITCH. When I grow rich, says the bell of Sh.o.r.editch.

STEPNEY. When will that be? says the bell of Stepney.

BOW. I'm sure I don't know, says the big bell of Bow. Capital. Now, all together, about the chopper. [_All sing very loud._

Here comes a candle to light you to bed, And here comes a chopper to chop off your head.

NEIGHBOURS. Oh, what a noise!

BOW. It's Bellringers' Day, ma'am. We may make as much noise as we like.

Now then, all together.

[_They stand in a row and sing the song straight through. Then they either march round in single file without singing, but ringing their bells, while the tune is played on the piano, or else dance. In either case the neighbours may join in._

CURTAIN

[Ill.u.s.tration: 5. ORANGES AND LEMONS.

Oranges and lemons, says the bells of St. Clements. You owe me five farthings, says the bells of St. Martins, When will you pay me? says the bells of Old Bailey. When I grow rich, says the bells of Sh.o.r.editch.

When will that be? says the bells of Stepney, I'm sure I don't know, says the big bell of Bow. Here comes a candle to light you to bed--and here comes a chopper to chop off your head!]

RIDE A c.o.c.k-HORSE

SCENE I

_TIMMY and JIMMY in separate beds, feet to audience, as the curtain goes up. TIM sits up cautiously._

TIM. Jim, are you asleep?

JIM [_sitting up and laughing_]. Yes, sound, are you?

TIM. Yes. I _do_ think it's so boring being in bed, don't you?

JIM. Horrid. I hate being asleep.

TIM. But it's so difficult to keep awake sometimes, even if one has a book to look at.

JIM. I can't think why Nurse doesn't like us to bring our book to bed.

This is just the time to have it. It gives one nice dreams. [_He takes up book from the ground by his bed._] Look, I've got mine.

TIM. It would be safer to wait till she's been.

JIM [_putting it under pillow_]. Perhaps it would.

TIM. I _do_ like it when Nurse looks in very softly and then says to Mother outside, "They're sound asleep, ma'am," when we're awake all the time!

JIM. Take care, here she comes.

[_NURSE opens door with precaution, comes to beds, looks at both boys, who pretend to be sound asleep. She goes on tiptoe to door, opens it, says, "They're sound asleep, ma'am," and goes out quietly. The boys put out their heads, listen, and then sit up._

TIM. Now the book!