The number of voters was little more than thirty; and the first business, after our arrival, was to invite them to a dinner. It has long been remarked that men in a body will be guilty of actions of which individually they would each be ashamed. In an a.s.sembly, however, the purpose of which is conscious iniquity, few, who have not witnessed such scenes, will be aware of the efforts that each man will make to argue himself into a belief of his own upright intentions: or of the eager a.s.sent with which his endeavours will be seconded by his a.s.sociates.

In the present instance, for example, what were the motives of the worthy electors? Sir Barnard explained them, to the perfect satisfaction of all parties.

But what were they? The love of the const.i.tution: the honest struggles that honest men were making to displace a corrupt minister: their very eager and laudable attempts to free an oppressed and ruined country, relieve it of its taxes, recover its trade, and revive the glory of old England: to effect these great and good purposes was the whole and sole end at which they aimed. Were all the electors through all the boroughs, cities, and counties of Great Britain but as virtuous as those of the borough of ****, it would indeed be a happy land.

Yet, strange to say, what different masks does self-a.s.suming virtue wear! State the per contra. Imagine only how many free and independent electors were at this period exulting, in a similar manner, at the purity of their own conduct; while giving their votes for the support of government, the maintenance of order, and to preserve the immaculate statesman, the saviour of the nation, the great financier, the first of orators, the admiration of Europe, and the wonder of the world, in power!

Who will deny that a general election is the season when all the disinterested virtues, all the pure patriotism, all the most generous and best qualities of the soul are called into action? How are the morals of the people improved! To what a height of grandeur does human nature rise; and how captivating is the point of view in which it is seen! aera of incomprehensible excellence!

Can it be supposed that I, who was to be the representative of such free and n.o.ble souls, through whose lips their patriotic spirits were to breathe, I, in whom one five-hundredth part of the virtue of the whole island was to be compressed, and bottled up ready for use, being as I was in company with sages whose office it was to choose one still more sage than themselves, thus circ.u.mstanced, was it possible that I should not imbibe some portion of their sublime wisdom? Had I no sympathy? Were all my affections and pa.s.sions and patriotism extinct?

Oh no! Mocking, says the proverb, is catching: and, however in my sober moments, among sober people, reasoning on objects at a distance, I might systematise and legislate for the conduct of myself and others, being an actor in the scene, whether its atmosphere were healthy or contagious, I never yet found that I could wholly escape imbibing a part of the effluvia. I gave toasts, made speeches, sung songs, ay and wrote them too, and became so incorporated with my const.i.tuents, lovers as they were of liberty, that, the cut of our cloaths and countenances excepted, I might in this moment of overflowing sapience have been taken for one of themselves.

I was little aware, however, when I consented to make this journey, of its consequences. Disinterested as these worthy voters were, and purchased by wholesale as they had been when the family of the Brays bought the borough, they yet had wives and daughters; who wore watches, and rings, and gowns; and who would each of them think themselves so flattered, by a genteel present from me, that there was no describing the pleasure it would give them! Every _particular_ about me told them I was very much of a gentleman.

Beside which, one lady had a great affection for a few pounds of the best green tea, bought in London. Another discovered that the loaf sugar in the country was abominable. A third could not but think that a few jars of India pickles, and preserved ginger, would be a very pretty present. It would always remind her of the giver. A fourth could not but say she _did_ long for a complete suit of lace; cap, handkerchief, and ruffles: and so on through the whole list.

The men too were troubled with their longings. With one it was London porter: with another it was Cheshire cheese and bottled beer. They would both drink to the donor. Their neighbour longed very vehemently indeed for the horse I rode: and, finding that the animal was too great a favourite to be parted with, he compounded for twelve dozen of old port.

When these hints, which looked very like demands, were first given me, I applied to Sir Barnard; doubting much whether any of them ought to be complied with: but he let me understand that such things were politic, and customary; and that a seat in parliament, even when bestowed, was not to be had free of expence.

What could be done? To have required him to pay these disburs.e.m.e.nts would have had so much the appearance of meanness, that it was what I could not propose. To request a loan in advance of Mr. Evelyn was sufficiently grating to the feelings: but he had a liberal spirit, it was the least painful of the two, and I had no other resource. Fortune was whetting the darts she soon intended to hurl.

CHAPTER VI

_News from Mowbray pet.i.tioning for aid: The period o; universal uproar arrives, and the Baronet pursues his patriotic purposes: A few sketches of a county contest at a general election: Hector loving in his liquor: Qualms of conscience, which are thought very unseasonable and very ridiculous: The incomprehensible defection of Sir Barnard, and the suspicion that lights on me_

While we were spending our time in this 'pleasant manner, and advantageously to the Baronet's interest,' we received intelligence of our quondam friends, the Earl and young Mowbray; who were canva.s.sing the county, in which they had vowed opposition to each other, with indefatigable zeal: so that a ruinous contest, probably to both parties, was predicted.

In this county Sir Barnard himself had some interest: for he had some lands there: and Hector prevailed on a common friend to write in a very urgent style to the Baronet, requesting his aid. How could so great a lover of his country as Sir Barnard, indignant too as he felt himself at the apostacy of the Earl, refuse a request by which his own patriotic purposes might be forwarded?

At length parliament was dissolved; and the whole kingdom was immediately in a tumult. Driving, rioting, and uproar began. G.o.d help the poor post-horses, hostlers, and chambermaids!

The writ for the Baronet's borough was made out, his agents were ready, and, as there could be no opposition, our business was soon over. It was high time: for my pocket was tolerably drained. And as the worthy electors very industriously compared notes, when any one of them discovered that the present made to his neighbour was of greater value than the _compliment_ which he had received, I had immediate intimation of my own injustice: which it was expected I should correct.

This serious business settled, and these accounts closed, the Baronet now had leisure to think of his friends; and he turned his thoughts to the annoying of Lord Idford. He had purchased me as well as his borough: for he had made me his own member, and meant to profit by me in all possible ways. He had discovered my electioneering talents. I was very engaging among the women: a matter of no small moment in such affairs: and 'though I was rather shy of my gla.s.s, yet I could sing an excellent song, which I could likewise make, quite suitable to the occasion.' He therefore proposed that we should both journey into my native county, and there exercise all our wit and ingenuity, to aid in bringing in my old school-fellow, Hector.

It cannot be supposed that, in an affair where the family and the brother of Olivia were so seriously implicated, I could be totally unconcerned. With respect to the question of who was the most virtuous, or the most wise, who the greatest orator, the best patriot, or the properest person to take a seat among the grand national council of sages, the Earl or the 'Squire, that was not easily determined. It was a point therefore that did not disquiet my conscience. My compliance was consequently given with a hearty good will; and we both prepared for the holy work.

How it happened that the vice which inevitably attaches itself to such conduct, self-evident, gross, and glaring as it is, fatal to private morals and public virtue, odious in its practice and h.e.l.lish in its consequences, how the baneful complexion of this monster vice should at first so totally escape me is more than I can declare. Hurry of thought, confusion of intellect, and eagerness of pa.s.sion are the only probable conjectures I can make. My mind was so intent on the manner in which I could best prove my respect for Olivia, and all that related to her, that this appears to have been a gulph vast enough for all recollection, sense, and idea!

A post-chaise and four soon brought us to the field of battle; and then I own my blood began to circulate, and my feelings to awaken.

Still it was but gradually that my spirits mounted to the proper tone.

Before we entered the place where the election was to be held, we heard the jangling of bells and the shouts of men. The postillions spared neither whip nor spur; and, as we galloped furiously along the streets, the people came swarming out: the women and children saluting us with their shrill trebles; and, it being dark, the men crowding to follow with torches and more sonorous hubbub. Every inn was a scene of confusion. When we drove up to that which was the head-quarters of Hector, his partisans immediately flocked round us, and, a courier having previously announced our arrival, saluted Sir Barnard with all the force of lungs they could heave: elated in proportion to the uproar they made.

The 'Squire and his friends, vociferous though they were, and heated with antic.i.p.ated triumphs, wine and wa.s.sail, heard the glorious din, learned its cause, and came reeling forth to embrace their puissant ally. Quitting as they did the fumes of b.u.t.tocks and sirloins, gammons and hams, turkies and geese, wines, brandies, beers and tobacco, they all came reeking; each involved in his own atmosphere.

Their joy was boisterous, and not to be repulsed. Hector was as drunk as the animal that brought the royal David his sucking pigs; and as loving as the monster in the Tempest. He could not indeed curse so poetically: but what he wanted in variety he supplied by repet.i.tion; and his oaths and his raptures were countless.

He bestowed a part of them upon me; for, not only did feasting make him fond, but, he had just memory enough left to recollect that I was now become an M.P. and he was not quite sure whether, till he had gained his election, I might not at present be almost as great a man as himself. I was moreover his electioneering friend: which virtue would, for a fortnight to come, be inestimable.

I had been disgusted with the eating and drinking required at the ready-bought borough of ****: but that was abstinence itself, compared to the scene in which I had consented to become an actor. Away the Baronet and I were dragged, by the most jovial crew: Hector our leader, and seating himself in state at our head.

'Clean gla.s.ses!' bellowed the hero; and, seizing his own, smashed it against the wall: commanding us to follow his n.o.ble example. Midway drunkenness disdains to think: all arms were raised, and destruction was impending. Fortunately, there were two sober men in company; and, seeing what had happened, we both loudly called--'Forbear!' 'You have cut one of the waiters,' added I; addressing myself to Hector, and pointing to a man whose face was smeared with blood. 'd.a.m.n him!'

retorted the brave Hector. 'Put him down in the bill.' The mighty man was pleased at his own second-hand wit; and, as an old joke is the soonest understood, they all joined in the laugh.

Eager to make the new comers welcome, that is as drunk as himself, Hector insisted that the Baronet and I should drink three b.u.mpers each; and, as the fatigue of travelling had rendered this no difficult task, we complied.

He then swore we would _set to_ for the night; but I perceived that his night would not be a long one. Toasts were called for, however, and liquor was swallowed, till its vapours half deprived the redoubted Hector of the faculty of speech. At this period, he began to mutter nonsense, on a subject on which I should have been better pleased with his silence than his praise. He made the lovely Olivia his theme; and in the fulness, not of his heart, but, of his stomach, told me how dearly she loved me--'Yes, my boy, she does, by G----! And she's right! d.a.m.n me, she's right! I say it; by G----, my boy, she's right!

You are my friend!--You are my friend, and she's right. And as for Lord kiss ---- d.a.m.n me, he's a sneaking scoundrel! I say it, a sneaking ----! So she's right! d.a.m.n me, she's right!'

He continued to repeat his oaths, and 'She's right,' till, entirely overpowered, he sunk; and would have dropped from his chair, if the waiter whom he had cut with the gla.s.s had not caught him. Some of the guests had withdrawn, some were sleeping, and some were senseless: but the few who could open their eyes, and see to such a distance, triumphed in the defeat of their leader: which they considered as victory to themselves.

Riot now paused per force. The Baronet pleaded fatigue, and retired.

I followed his example, and once more found myself alone; left to ruminate on the methods which men take to make each other happy; on their different modes of happiness, in their different stations: and on waiters who, being maimed or killed, are to be charged in the bill.

Though these thoughts were not of the most delightful kind, they did not prevent me from sleeping. The new day brought new cares; and presented projects, in which I was required to take my part, that led me to very serious meditations indeed. The poll was to begin that day week; and Hector and his friends, roused from the torpor of overloaded revelry by the importance of the business, a.s.sembled to consider how they should best collect and marshal the voters of whom they supposed themselves to be certain, and cajole and bring over such as they imagined might be gained.

Of this labour each man was to take his allotted share; and direct bribery was openly proposed as the general medium by which the great end in question was to be promoted.

This was what I had not foreseen. I was not only young but, as I have before remarked, I had thought but little on the affair: except as it continually presented the image of Olivia to my mind. I now found myself most painfully situated. I had discovered principles of human conduct in which I had gloried. I had a.s.serted them unsparingly; and had promised myself that from them I would never depart. In doubtful cases, I might decide and act erroneously: but, when the way was clear, my conduct should be the same.

These principles I was required to abandon; and the shock was severe.

The transactions which had lately pa.s.sed in the Baronet's borough increased the difficulty. In what light could the presents that I had made be considered? In what were they different from and how much better than bribes? To these I had submitted when my own interest was in question. Again: for what purpose had I consented to accompany Sir Barnard, if not to exert myself in favour of his friend? And not only his friend but the brother of Olivia; though this was a silent grief, known only to myself. However I stated my scruples: which, as soon as they were heard, were the subject of laughter. I repeated them in a still more serious tone, and was reminded of the facts, and motives which I have just been mentioning.

The struggle was violent. The arguments I had to urge were something like insults, on every body present that heard me; and I was answered sometimes with ridicule, at others with anger, and not unfrequently with something very like contempt.

The Baronet in particular augured very unfavourably, concerning the subserviency which he expected from me; and once or twice spoke in a very dictatorial tone: but, finding himself answered with no little indignation, he had no remedy but to chew the cud in silence.

a.s.sailed on all sides, as it happened I had the good sense, in despite of every mockery and insinuation, to remain firm; and the only part I could be prevailed upon to take determinately was that of aiding in a fair and open canvas, leaving those who were less conscientious to distribute bribes. As it was imagined however that I possessed some abilities, my services were accepted on my own conditions.

Meanwhile the waste that was committed, the bribes that were paid, and the money that was squandered in every way, as well in London, where voters were eagerly purchased and sent down by coach loads, as in distant parts of the county and kingdom, convinced me that the sums which this election would cost must be enormous. I even thought it my duty to take an opportunity, in one of Hector's half sober moments, to remonstrate with all the arguments and energy I could collect; and endeavoured to persuade him to decline the poll. But my efforts were useless. He was equally vain of his wealth and his influence. His purse perhaps was as deep as that of the proud peer; his friends as numerous; and he would carry his election though he were to mortgage every foot of land he possessed.

Finding him resolved, I became anxious in his behalf, strained every nerve, rode in all directions night and day, and so effectually exerted myself in enquiring who were the independent men likely to be influenced by honest motives, that I procured him above fifty votes.

With respect to himself, the continual drinking, vociferating, and riot of the scene had made him so hoa.r.s.e that, previous to the day of election, his husky whispers were not audible.

The evening before the poll opened, an incident occurred for which, at that time, I knew not how to account. It was no less amazing than incomprehensible. I had returned very much fatigued, after hard riding, and found a message had been left for me by Sir Barnard; who desired to speak with me immediately.

I obeyed the summons, and found him alone. He opened the conversation in a strange bl.u.s.tering tone: complaining of having been neglected, or insulted; he did not seem to know which; and, to my astonishment, declared his satisfaction at the scruples which I had professed. He knew not what to say to such corrupt proceedings. Perhaps an honest man ought to have no concern in them; and, for his own part, he certainly should trouble himself no farther on the present occasion.

He had met with but little thanks for what he had already done; and he had come to a resolution not to bring up his voters.