11.

Chapter 20.

Valium is not my friend.

The next morning, Marvin was still laughing at my antics from the previous evening. He begged to be the one to tell Kalen what happened, but I thought it would have more impact if Angela pa.s.sed the story on. I wanted to laugh along with him, but the Stanky Legs gave me one h.e.l.l of a headache. Marvin ate his breakfast quickly, eager to get down to the booth and see what Angela had to say. I took her advice and stayed in the room.

I spent the morning reading and rereading the speech. I wasn't satisfied until I'd memorized the whole thing. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror reciting it to my hungover reflection, trying to look confident and composed. I failed miserably. Even alone I couldn't stop myself from fidgeting. I knew in front of a room full of people, I'd be worse.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was ready to jump out the window. Marvin brought me something to eat, but I couldn't force anything down. My stomach was a bundle of nerves.

"The ma.s.sage was a good idea." Marvin looked at me compa.s.sionately. "If we pay a little extra, we might be able to get someone up here on short notice. Want me to try?"

I nodded as I chewed at my nails. I'd never done it in my life and wondered what the appeal was. I grabbed a pillow off the sofa and tried to squeeze it to release some tension. That didn't work, either.

"Someone will be up within the hour," Marvin said as he took a seat next to me. "Angela didn't say a thing about last night. I waited all morning for her to bring it up, but she was tight-lipped.

12.

*I finally asked what happened in the bathroom, and she told me that you put Zoe in her place." Marvin threw back his head and laughed. "That's all she would say, but she sure had a funny look on her face."

I wanted to laugh, too, but I couldn't. I felt a little bad for what I'd done. I probably didn't do Angela any favors with that stunt, and I felt even more pressure to do well on the speech.

Marvin left me alone with the ma.s.seuse. She was a tall woman with broad shoulders. I figured she'd wrench every kink out of my body with a flick of her wrist. She kept telling me to relax. At one point, she had to tap me on the shoulder to get me to release the legs on the table so that she could work my arms.

When it was all said and done, I was no better off.

I soaked in the tub and sipped on the water that she told me I had to drink. I was just about to call Marvin up to the room and tell him that he'd have to give the presentation when I remembered the Valium that Kalen had given me. I got out of the tub and dug out the bottle with the two tiny pills. There was a V stamped in the middle of each one, and I wondered how that wafer-thin tablet was going to calm me down. Half of it was missing because of the logo.

I looked at the clock and realized that I had less than two hours to make a fool of myself and ruin Angela's career. I popped a pill in my mouth and swallowed it with what was left of my water. Thirty minutes later, I didn't feel any different, so I made myself a strong b.l.o.o.d.y Mary. As I showered, I felt a calmness wash over me. I can do this, I thought.

Marvin commented on how relaxed I looked as he did my hair and makeup. He thought it was the ma.s.sage, and I didn't tell him about the wonder pill. After we were dressed, we went downstairs to have a c.o.c.ktail with Angela. I had another b.l.o.o.d.y Mary, and I was feeling good.

I leaned against the bar and listened to Marvin and Angela chat about their day in the booth. I couldn't keep from smiling, even though they were talking about colors and rinses. It sounded perfectly delightful.

1.

*"Shannon, do you have," Marvin began as he turned and looked at me. His jaw slid open and one eye began to twitch.

"Good G.o.d, you're drooling."

Angela had turned and begun talking to someone else. She didn't see Marvin usher me from the room. He held me by my lapel and slapped at the elevator b.u.t.tons. As the doors opened, he shoved me inside. "Are you drunk?" he asked, looking horrified.

"No, I only had two Stanky Marys."

Before we could get to the twenty-first floor, the elevator stopped and a woman got on. She looked at me and smiled.

"Hey," I said and liked the way it came out in a growl.

Marvin moved between us and began fussing with my face.

"Your lipstick is smeared, honey," he said cheerfully, but his eyes were huge. He held a finger to his lips.

"Are you shushing me?" I asked with a grin.

When we got back to our suite, he ran around the room for a minute cussing and screaming. I just stood there giggling. He was so funny.

He picked up his cell phone, then threw it down, picked it up, and threw it again. "Okay, we need coffee." He went to the bar and pulled out the pot. I watched as he put two pre-measured packets in the strainer. "Shannon, your pupils are huge. Are you sure you only had two drinks?"

I held up four fingers. "Yep, only two. And I took one of Kalen's pills."

Marvin stopped what he was doing and walked over to where I was kind of standing. "What pills?"

"She gave me those pills with the little V carved in them."

Marvin pulled me over to the couch and sat me down. He went to the coffeepot and poured me a cup. "Have you ever taken Valium before?" he asked when he returned.

"Yep, that's what they're called. And no, I've never taken one before. I tell you what, though, I'm gonna take 'em all the time now because I feel good! Let's go downstairs, I'm ready!"

Marvin looked at his watch and whimpered. "Drink this,"

he said as he shoved the coffee cup into my hands. "Do you remember any of the speech?"

14.

*I took a sip of the coffee; it tasted like burned oil. "I want another Stanky Mary." I shoved the cup back into his hands.

"Shannon, focus. Do you remember the speech?"

I cleared my throat and sat up straight. "h.e.l.lo, motherf.u.c.kers, it's a pleasure to be with all of you fur jockeys tonight."

"Oh, my G.o.d," Marvin screamed and pulled at his carefully coiffed hair. "Give me the speech, Shannon."

"Hey," I said smoothly as I pointed at my head. "It's all in here, no need to worry. You need a Stanky Mary."

Marvin sank down onto his knees and looked at me beseechingly. "You cannot rewrite Kalen's speech. You cannot call these people motherf.u.c.kers. Now, Shannon, please," he said as he took my hands into his. "Where is the speech?"

"I don't know."

Marvin jumped up and ran into my room. I could hear him throwing things around. He ran back into the sitting area and searched around the bar, then buried his face in his hands.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It's an honor to be among you tonight..."

"Yes! Yes, that's it." Marvin crossed the room and knelt in front of me again. "Drink more of this." He handed the coffee to me, and I did as he asked because he was so d.a.m.n funny with his hair sticking out on all sides.

I had to pee three times before we left the room. Marvin insisted that I drink every bit of the coffee he'd made. Though it wasn't a Stanky Mary, I still felt pretty d.a.m.n good. As we rode down in the elevator, I stood leaning against the wall calm as a cuc.u.mber. Marvin stood in the corner praying aloud.

"Where have you been?" Angela asked when we met in the hall. "Wardrobe malfunction." Marvin smoothed his hair.

Angela fussed with my collar. "You're on as soon as this speaker wraps up. He'll introduce you."

"Your lips are the sweetest I've ever tasted," I said, looking her in the eye.

She moved closer, and for a second, I thought she was going to kiss me. I puckered up.

1.

*Angela's eyes narrowed as she looked into mine. "Her pupils are the size of baseb.a.l.l.s. What the-"

"Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome-"

"That's me." I pulled away from Angela's grasp. Her voice was shrill and Marvin's was even higher as they argued. I just kept on walking.

Angela, Marvin, and I sat around the sitting area of our suite.

Angela held an ice pack to her head. Marvin was drinking gin straight from the bottle.

"Well, she did it," Marvin said with a s.p.a.cey gaze.

Angela groaned. "It could've been worse. We could have done without the laughing and pointing, though."

They talked as though I weren't in the room. Frankly, I wasn't.

I was floating on a cloud of serenity.

"You have to admit she had the room laughing right along with her. The rest of the speakers were duds." Marvin took another healthy swig.

Images of Hailey undressing me and putting me to bed flashed through my mind. I reached for her, but she pushed my hands away. "Drink this," I heard her say as something cool was pressed to my lips. Her voice didn't sound the same.

"You're always pushing me away," I said, reaching for her again.

"Go to sleep." I felt her pushing me down onto the bed.

"Please stay," I said. "I just want to be with you." The words seemed heavy as they left my lips. The bed was pulling me in deeper.

I felt a hand softly stroke my brow and words whispered. "I will."

1.

Chapter 21.

Homecoming of uncertainty.

I awoke the next morning alone with the gnawing feeling that I'd forgotten something. My mouth tasted like I had been licking a car tire. After brushing my teeth twice, I wandered into the sitting area. Marvin was asleep on the sofa with an empty gin bottle clutched in both hands.

"Hey." I gave him a nudge, and he opened one eye and looked at me.