Holly straightened and wiped her fingers across her face. "Am I wrong not to marry him?"

"Only you can answer that."

Holly nodded. She already knew the truth. Hearing it from Louise confirmed everything she knew. "Since I was fifteen years old, I've been scared to trust anyone. My world wasn't secure at all. I've made my peace with that. I've learned to trust again. I trust Jordan and I love him. But if he can't trust and love me back, then I can't be with him."

"You're very brave," Louise said. "I wish I could be like you."

Holly frowned. "I don't understand."

Louise wrapped her hands around her coffee mug and squeezed until her knuckles turned white. "I keep thinking about what you said about my daughter. I want to get in touch with her. I want to give her a choice."

For the first time since the proposal, Holly smiled. "Do it, Louise. You've lost so much time with her already. If she doesn't want to see you, then you'll have the answer to your question. I know that would be painful to hear, but at least then you'll know. I suspect she's going to be thrilled to hear from you. Wait until she finds out she has four half brothers."

Louise shrugged. "I might not tell her that all at once. I wouldn't want to scare her away." She thought for a minute. "You're right. I'll do it. We've lost twenty-eight years already. I don't want to lose another minute."

Holly was pleased. At least one of them had a chance at happiness.

Jordan opened the front door and stepped inside his house. He knew right away that something was wrong. He wasn't sure if it was the absence of sound or movement, or just a sixth sense kicking in.

He started to take the stairs two at a time, then turned back and headed for the study that had been his makeshift bedroom. The closet door was partially closed. He flung it open and stared at the clean, bare floor. He didn't have to look any further. Mistletoe was gone, and with her, Holly.

He walked to the chair next to the rented hospital bed that was being returned in the morning. He sank down, rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

Gone. Just like that. Without warning. Without saying goodbye.

As soon as she'd refused his proposal, he knew he'd done everything all wrong. He should have planned his words better. But the truth was, he hadn't thought he would be proposing. He'd been thinking about not wanting to lose her when he'd blurted everything out.

He'd been a fool. Worse, he'd hurt her. Now she was gone and he didn't know what he was going to do.

"She left a note."

He glanced up. Louise had silently entered the room. She stood in front of him and held out an envelope. He took it, then opened it and glanced at the contents.

Jordan,

I'm sorry to leave this way. It seems so cowardly, but I'm the first to confess I don't have the courage to face you right now. I'm leaving because I can't stay. Before it was easy to pretend I didn't love you. I can't do that anymore. I know this doesn't make sense. After all, if I really loved you why wouldn't I jump at your proposal? Maybe I'm being foolish and wishing for the moon. I don't know. The only thing I am sure of is that I want a man who can love me back. One who trusts me enough to give his heart. I don't blame you for not being able to do that. I wish it could have been different.

Much love,

Holly .

He read the paper over and over until he'd memorized every word. Until he couldn't breathe past the pain or focus on anything but the ripping hole in his chest. Then he crumpled the note in his hand.

"She's gone," he said, too stunned to realize he'd spoken the words out loud.

"This morning." Louise took a step closer to him. "I know you don't want to hear this from me, and you're not going to believe me, but I'm sorry, Jordan. Sorry for both of you." She paused. "I'm leaving, too. You're back on your feet, and with Holly gone you don't really need me."

He nodded without saying anything. She started from the room.

"Wait!" he called, springing to his feet and hurrying after her. "Where did she go?"

Louise's gaze saw far too much. "Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"She's rented the gate house on Kyle and Sandy's property." She touched his forearm. "You have your reasons for hating me," she said. "I don't agree with them, but I understand. Even so, I'm going to give you a piece of advice. You're a fool if you let her go."

He tightened his fist around the small ball of paper. "It's none of your business."

She laughed. "You're right, it isn't. So what? Are you going to get mad at me? Jordan, you've carried a chip on your shoulder for nearly twenty years. I don't care what you think anymore. You can continue to act like a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, but I don't give a d.a.m.n."

Maybe it was the rawness of the pain, or the shock. For once Jordan wasn't able to hide behind a mask of indifference. For the first time since that afternoon so many years ago, he allowed himself to really look at Louise.

Her plastic Christmas-tree earrings caught the light and twinkled. There were lines around her eyes, and her skin wasn't as tight as it had been, but other than that, she was the same woman she'd always been. She had a good heart. Her willingness to put up with him proved that.

Jordan thought about how empty his world was going to be now that Holly was gone. If his father had felt a tenth of the same feelings for Louise, then maybe Jordan could understand some of his actions. He still didn't excuse them, but he could almost understand.

If he was willing to go that far for his father, the truly guilty party, then what did he owe the woman in front of him? She had made a mistake. One she'd paid for every day of the past twenty-nine years. She'd only been seventeen. He'd hated her for destroying his family, when the truth was his family had never been more than a collection of unrelated parts. Earl Haynes had made sure there was nothing left to destroy.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Her gaze narrowed. "What'd you say?"

"I'm sorry. I blamed you for everything, and it was never your fault."

She planted her hands on her hips. "Dammit, Jordan, I just got this thing figured out. Don't you go confusing me again."

He shook his head. "I wanted to blame you because it was safer than blaming my father. It's been a whole lot easier to be angry with you. I've made your life h.e.l.l. An apology can't change that or the past, but it's all I have."

She pursed her lips, then wiped at the corner of her eye. "I can't believe this. Now you've got me all weepy. Apology accepted."

He didn't believe her. "Just like that?"

"Would you feel better if I punished you first?"

"Yes."

"It's not my style. I have a big heart, Jordan. I can forgive. I'm not saying I won't be snippy a time or two when I remember how mean you have been, but I understand why you did it. If you're sincere, then I'm willing to forgive."

He reached out and drew her next to him. She was stiff at first, then she relaxed against him. "Now I know why my father fell in love with you."

She swatted his arm and stepped back. "You Haynes boys were always sweet-talkers. Stop wasting time with me. Go find Holly and bring her back."

Now it was his turn to be uncomfortable. "I can't."

"Figures you couldn't be good-looking and smart. Tell me why not."