There was nothing to be solved right now, Holly decided. She finished with her hair, then dressed and headed downstairs. Jordan was in the living room, sitting on the sofa in front of the Christmas tree. The quilt was gone, as were the fire and the empty bottle of champagne. Even so, her gaze was drawn to the place where they had made love.

She remembered the beautiful lights on the tree and the scent of the fire. She remembered Jordan touching her with his hands and his mouth, loving her until the world disappeared and they were alone in the universe.

He stood up as she entered the room. He'd showered, too, and his dark hair was brushed away from his face. A worn sweatshirt hugged his shoulders, and faded jeans clung to his thighs with the familiarity of an old lover. She'd seen him dressed that way countless times before. It didn't matter. Once their gazes met, her heart rate increased and her legs started to tremble.

He stepped toward her and pulled her into his embrace. His arms were strong and sure. She felt comfortable next to him. As his mouth brushed hers, she parted for him. Her body began to heat in antic.i.p.ation.

He cupped her behind and pulled her hips toward him. Something hard pressed into her belly. Now she knew what his arousal meant. He wanted to make love, and she did, too.

She broke their kiss. "Jordan, I-"

He silenced her by placing a finger on her lips. "This is all going too fast for you."

She stared at him. "How did you know?"

He touched her face, then reached down and took her hand. "I can see it in your eyes. You're confused and afraid. Last night was great, but reality is difficult to deal with. You've got to be at the shop in-" he glanced at his watch "-an hour. You've got other things to do. I'm a complication you don't need."

Her eyes burned, and it took her a second to figure out she was fighting tears. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He hugged her. "Don't cry, Holly. Please don't be upset. I understand. You need time to think about everything that happened."

"I know." She rested her forehead on his shoulder. "I'm not crying because I'm upset, I'm crying because you're being so nice."

"I thought being nice was a good thing."

"It is." She raised her head and smiled at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." His eyes darkened. "I do have one request."

"Which is?"

"Don't leave me until after the holidays."

She thought about what he was asking. The store was doing so well, she had the money to get another apartment. But the thought of leaving hadn't occurred to her.

"I'll stay," she said. "To be perfectly honest, the thought of leaving never crossed my mind."

"Good." He winked. "Let's try breakfast again. This time in the kitchen."

"Sounds great."

He headed that way. Holly started after him then stopped in her tracks. Why wasn't she thinking of leaving? There was no future for her here, and even if there was, she didn't want a future with Jordan or any man. She didn't trust people.

But she did trust Jordan. She cared about him and enjoyed being with him. She wasn't sure how or when it had happened, but she'd come to trust him ... and care about him.

She wasn't sure when she'd started to trust him and let him inside. Maybe that first day when he'd gone back into her apartment and saved Mistletoe. Maybe the first time he'd kissed her. Jordan Haynes was everything she'd ever wanted in a man. How was she supposed to resist him?

She loved him. With all her heart.

She closed her eyes as emotions overwhelmed her. She loved Jordan. Loved him, loved a man who was terrified of love. She must never let him know. She would have to be strong. She could continue to be his friend, and he would never know the truth.

An odd combination of joy and sadness filled her. She was finally ready to trust someone enough to fall in love, and he wasn't going to want her. In his own way Jordan was letting her down just like everyone else, but that didn't make her love him less. She couldn't help her feelings. It wasn't fair, but she didn't want to take her heart back. Jordan would have it forever, whether he wanted it or not.

Chapter 15.

N ine-year-old Mandy shrieked in delight when she unwrapped the huge box. The Victorian dollhouse had been built by hand from a kit, then painstakingly painted and decorated. Her big eyes got bigger, then filled with tears. She leapt to her feet, ran to the sofa where her parents sat and threw herself at Travis and Elizabeth.

Jordan watched his brother hug her close.

"I'm glad you like it," Travis said, his voice thick with emotion. "All your uncles worked on it with me."

Mandy sniffed, then faced the rest of the adults. "Thank you so much. It's the best dollhouse I've ever seen."

Holly shifted on the floor where she was sitting and glanced up at him. "When did you guys build it?" she asked.

"At the end of summer." He grinned, remembering the complicated directions and short tempers. "We used to build model airplanes together, but that was a long time ago."

She raised her eyebrows and smiled. "Did some of you forget how to play well with others?"

"I think so. But it was fun." He leaned toward her and lowered his voice. "With everyone having girls, we figured we'd better learn how to build dollhouses, or we were going to be in a lot of trouble."

She glanced around the room. Jordan followed her gaze. Most of the children had already gone outside to play with new toys, bikes and inline skates. Torn pieces of wrapping paper littered the floor. There were piles of bows, empty boxes and discarded directions everywhere he looked.

Did Holly see the mess, or did she see the happiness in the room? Jordan touched the top of her head, earning himself a quick smile. He knew what she saw. She had a gentle heart and a sweet spirit. She would see the good in the situation.

Travis carried the dollhouse up to the playroom. Mandy ran and got her cousin Nichole, who was her age, and both girls went upstairs with their new dolls. When Travis returned, he settled next to his wife and sighed.

"So what did I get for Christmas? I know I was good all year."

"How do you figure that?" Elizabeth asked.

He grinned. "You kept telling me."

She swatted his arm. Everyone laughed.

"I've been good, too," Kyle said. "So what has Santa brought me?"

"Wallpaper for the dining room," Sandy told him, then grinned when he groaned.

Jordan saw Holly smile at the conversation. Although she had been a little shy at first, she seemed to enjoy spending time with his family. He liked watching her interact with them. His brothers were protective and caring, and his sisters-in-law had claimed her as one of their own. He'd seen her whispering with the other women. They all had secrets, and he hoped she was comfortable enough to share hers. A part of him was curious as to what the females were always talking about, but then he figured he was probably better off not knowing.

Sandy said something, and Holly responded. As she spoke, she rested her head against his knee. He leaned back in the sofa and enjoyed her closeness.

He wanted her. Making love hadn't decreased his attraction. Instead, he could now picture her naked and beneath him. He knew what she felt like when he was inside her, and he wanted to be with her again. But he understood her caution. Relationships were new to her, and she didn't want to mess up.

h.e.l.l, he was hardly an expert at relationships, either, he reminded himself. He'd never had one that worked. In his heart he still believed that love was destructive. It would be safer for everyone if they just stayed friends. Friendship he understood and trusted.