She put down the knife and turned to look at Alexander, her eyes moist. She said, "Of course I know that, Alex. It's like his father, Richard. Richard was often around me ... and," she started to cry, "he's been with me since James died. I've not told anyone but, oh Alex ..."

Alexander got up from his chair and went to Catherine and put his arms around her and held her close. "Sure he has. Both of them have been right at your side. You need to celebrate that. You need to tell Daniel, tell your children, tell his wife."

"You're so right, Alex," she said. "Thank you. Sometimes your wisdom can make life seem so easy."

He said, "It is easy, we just make it too hard sometimes, don't we?"

Lucinda had been going through the motions of living since she had buried her husband. Five days a week she left her home and went to the schoolhouse and taught her students.

Then nearly every afternoon she would return home and fix a little supper, correct school papers and plan the next day's lesson, then crawl into bed, and there she would stare at the ceiling or cry into her pillow. Day after day, night after night, for weeks and weeks.

There were times when she would wonder who was she crying about, her loss of James, her husband, or the loss of Benjamin, her former lover.

Her grief was like a mixture of emotions that she could not fully identify and sort out. She would be thinking of James and tears would come, and then maybe thoughts of Benjamin would replace her thoughts of James.

She realized that James had been off to war for more than two years. And she wondered why he had not come home when his enlistment time had been up prior to his death. Had he reenlisted without telling her? There had been very few letters over the last several months, actually not a lot of communication since her rape and the trial. And now she would never know if that was what had bothered James to the degree that his feelings had changed for her. It had become obvious that he hated Benjamin. But did he blame her?

It was Sat.u.r.day and she had slept in late, had gotten up and made breakfast, nearly in time for lunch, and now was sitting at her desk, writing a letter to her Aunt Maggie. When she finished her letter, she thought it time to go through the box of James's belongings that the army had sent her. She had set it aside unopened, not wanting to deal with the contents.

She cut open the box, and inside was a small box and clothing. She opened the small box and saw her photograph and a photograph of James in his uniform. And she saw a locket, an expensive looking gold locket and chain. She shook her head, now remembering the letter and the list of his belongings had included a locket but she had not given a locket to her husband.

Maybe James had bought this for her and had not got around to sending it home. She pulled it out of the box, opened the clasp and inside was a lock of dark auburn hair, and a photo of an attractive woman, a woman she did not know. She turned it over and monogrammed on the reverse side was the name Rebecca.

The letter from someone named Beck. She reached for the envelope and opened the letter from this person "Beck." She had not looked at it since the day it arrived. The handwriting was very neat.

Dear Mrs. Garrison, I want you to know what a good person, a compa.s.sionate person, James was. He was loved by everyone. He will be greatly missed. My sincere sympathy, R. Beck Lucinda put the letter down, stared at the gold locket in her hand for the longest time, and then she threw the locket across the room hitting the far wall and watched as it slid on down to the floor.

"d.a.m.n you, James!"

Chapter Fifty-seven: Tuesday, the 6th Day of December 1864.

De Valls Bluff, Arkansas Dear Jane, I am writing a few lines to inform you that I am well and hearty at present. Several of your letters arrived from more than two months ago.

I heard the sad news of James before letters came from home. I hope your mother is doing better and Lucinda, too.

You say that clothing is very high, that it costs so much to clothe you and the two children. I don't know what you would do if you had half a dozen children to clothe and maintain with only the wages of a soldier to do it as a great many women do. I want you to clothe you and the sweet children comfortably if it takes one hundred dollars. I am glad to hear you bought two sheep and if you can get two or three more then do it, then you will have enough to make your clothing and it will be a great deal better than buying clothes. They will not be very much bother to you until I get home if I am so lucky as to get home. I expect sheep is very hard to get at present. All I have to say is to do the best you can and you will please me.

We have come back from Brownsville and I am well pleased with the exchange. It was muddy all the time we were there. We have a very nice camp here and we moved into houses that the 46th Illinois built. The house is about fourteen feet square covered with boards. It is the best quarters that we have had since we left St. Louis. There is hope of our staying here all winter.

I would as soon stay here all winter as anywhere unless it is New Orleans. It is not so cold there. We left Brownsville the 30th of November and arrived here the 1st of December. Our quarters have been inspected nigh every day and I suppose that is to see whether we live like hogs or humans. It has been so long since we have lived in houses that they think we do not know how to keep them clean and nice. We are very nicely fixed if we had (as the colonel told two of our boys) a woman a piece then we would think we are in paradise. Our major went home this fall and married a girl and brought her to the regiment. She is here now. She is a very good looking woman.

This place is improving very fast and Northern people came here and went into business of some kind or other.

Well Jane, you said you rented out some acres to Uncle Perry and that is fine by me. You spoke of buying some timber reasonable. If you can sell that piece of land for $250 dollars or for as much as you can get for it, you can if you will, buy three or five acres of timber. If the timber is not very good have nothing to do with it. You can tell better what to do or ask Pap if you can't. I was preparing to buy that piece of land joining the grove on the north, that piece we could see so plain from your daddy's house. It was very high ground and timber on the northwest of it. If I had the forty west of mine I would not sell for any consideration so I doubt Rodgers is going to sell that. But don't mention to Rodgers that I would like to have those acres or he would raise his asking price to a thousand dollars.

It is reported that we are to go to the Shenandoah Valley. I suppose we have to report to Memphis whether we go any farther or not. Two regiments of our brigade was at the Bluffs. The adjutant general came from there the other day and he said that the two regiments had embarked for Memphis. I think we will go soon as we are a lost brigade here.

If nothing happens, Dave Perin and I are going to Little Rock tomorrow. Well Jane, I can say without bragging that I can sew and make clothes and repair them as well as most of the fair s.e.x. I made me a vest and the boys say it is hard to beat for the first. If I live to get home you will know. You probably think I am blowing but I am not.

We had brigade drill this afternoon on the prairie. It is about one mile from our camp. It is a splendid sight to see a lot of troops drilling on the prairie. The prairie is very level and nice for troops to drill on. I suppose we will have to drill every day if the weather is favorable unless we are on fatigue. I like to drill when it is battalion or brigade drill if the weather is not too warm.

Jane, I wrote yesterday that Dave Perin and I were going to Little Rock. We went up to Little Rock on the early morning train and the train following us went off the track six miles from Little Rock. A yoke of cattle was on the track and when the train came to them instead of them running off the track they run up the track and came to a bridge and then fell through. The cars ran on to them, tore the bridge down, threw the engine and tender and seven cars off and completely smashed them, some falling from the right side, other cars from the left. The road and bridge was eight and ten feet high. Two flat cars were all that stayed on the road. One or two soldiers were killed and several badly hurt. One lieutenant had one arm and both legs broken and was hurt in the breast and head. He was not expected to live. An Irish woman and girl 12 or 14 years old and a boy 8 or 10 years old was taking her husband to Little Rock to bury him. The flesh on the woman's thigh was cut off to the bone to her knee but the bone was not broken. The little girl had her foot and ankle mashed and could not get loose until helped. The little boy had his leg broken. The woman is not expected to live. They had to cut people out of the cars. The conductor said it was a wonder that anybody escaped. Five men were on the engine and not hurt. The car was loaded with commissaries, princ.i.p.ally pork and flour. I heard a great deal of talk of smashup on the railroad and if this is the way they smash up I do not want to be on them when it occurs. I never seen things smashed up so bad in my life.

Dave and I stopped at Little Rock until our pa.s.s ran out and came to the conclusion we would have to get down some way. We got on a flat car that was running out and stopped an hour or two and an engine and a flat car was there and they run to Brownsville so we hopped aboard. We got back safe. The road will be repaired in three or four days. Little Rock is a nice town. Business seems to be going on very brisk.

I saw Sam Thompson the night before and he said that he seen you just before he left home. He said I have a very smart boy. I expect he will be big by the time I get home. I saw several of my old school mates in the 36th Iowa.

Deserters come in here every few days from Reb General Price's Army and they say that Price's men are considerably scattered and are deserting him as fast as they can. Everything is quiet on this side and bushwhacking is very nigh dried up.

I will close for now. The boys are all in bed.

Your affectionate husband, Silas.

Chapter Fifty-eight: A New Year, 1865.

Christmas came and went quietly, as did New Year's Day. It appeared the mood in Iowa for many was one of indifference. The continuing war, the deaths of soldiers from local communities, the grief suffered by many, put a damper on all feelings of optimism. Yet newspaper reports and even reports from soldiers in their writings home, seemed to indicate the war was winding down.

After capturing Atlanta in November of 1864, Union General Sherman continued his march through Georgia for weeks, and stormed Fort McAllister on the 13th day of December and eight days later captured Savannah.

By February, General Sherman had marched from Georgia through North and South Carolina, destroying almost everything in their path. That same month it was reported that Confederate President Jefferson Davis agreed to send delegates to a peace conference with President Lincoln and Secretary of State William Seward. But Davis put restrictions on it, insisting that President Lincoln recognize the South's independence. Lincoln refused, and the peace conference did not occur.

During Sunday supper at Elizabeth Jane's home, the war and politics were the main items of discussion. Her parents, Catherine and Daniel, her in-laws Michael and Rachel, her sister, Madeline, William, Sadie, Lucinda, and Alexander were all enjoying the afternoon get together on a day that had been warmed up by the sun shining brightly.

Elizabeth Jane's brother Robert and sister-in-law, Mary, and children, had planned to attend but they were taking turns fending off influenza.

The Sunday dinner get-togethers had become somewhat of a routine of recent time. The women, possibly with the exception of Rachel, had become enthusiastic and pa.s.sionate about women's suffrage and other political issues.

The gentlemen were patient with the women and even found themselves either taking care of Denny and Katrina or tending to womanly house duties while the women might travel to Des Moines to hear a lecture by one of the well known suffrage figures.

Alexander looked forward to the Sunday discussions and often was fired up himself about the issues. And today was not any different. "The Rebs can't last much longer," he said. "You heard it, there's a shortage of food and all supplies in the South. Ah h.e.l.l, donkey meat and wormy crackers ain't any kind of meal. Them men are getting mighty tired of that, and I don't blame um."

Elizabeth Jane spoke up, "Silas wrote about the worms, big ones in the crackers. I thought I was going to vomit when reading his words."

"War's never pretty," William said. "They are saying that starving soldiers have been deserting General Lee's forces."

Alexander added, "Guess the blockades have been successful."

"Yes," William continued, "and interfering with their transportation, causing them big problems. President Davis approved the arming of slaves to augment his shrinking army but they've never done that."

Sadie spoke up, "Mr. William, them slaves, no way do they want to carry an arm for that Mr. Jefferson Davis. No, sirree not for that man. For Mr. Lincoln, yes, they will do that."

"According to Silas the Negroes make darn good soldiers. He still wants to lead a regiment of them," Elizabeth Jane said.

Daniel commented, "That surprises me. I never would have figured."

Alexander spoke up, "War shows men a lot of things, Daniel. When you see how the Negro is treated like animals, actually worse than most men would treat their animals, it does change your mind to the value of life, everyone's life, no matter the color of their skin."

Daniel glanced at Sadie and his daughter, Madeline. He looked embarra.s.sed as he said, "Well, don't need a war to change my mind on a few things. Sadie here is part of our family now, ain't that right, Catherine?"

"Yes, that's right," she replied. "And today I want to share a secret with all of you, one that my daughter Elizabeth Jane knows, but Daniel I haven't even told you in all these years. And Lucinda, I should have told James long ago. A couple of weeks ago, I talked with Robert about this."

All curious eyes were on Catherine, and Elizabeth Jane gave her mother a big smile, actually one of relief. "My husband Richard had Negro blood. And that means it has been carried on with Robert and James. Well, sadly with James now gone, it stops there, but Robert has his children." She told them the story of Richard's grandfather and his Negro grandmother.

Madeline spoke up. "Why did you not tell us before?"

Lucinda asked, "You never told James?"

"No, the time never seemed right," Catherine said. "But to tell the truth, I was afraid of the reaction to my children if the truth be known."

Catherine looked over at Daniel. "I'm sorry, Daniel, I should have told you. After all you were raising my boys."

He shrugged. "I guess some things don't matter at all, do they?" He looked around at everyone. "Looks like we have a whole new world ahead of us, as soon as we get this war behind us."

Madeline reached over and took William's hand. "William and I may not wait for the war to end before starting our 'new world.' My divorce will be given to me in two weeks and then we can marry."

"Good for you! Congratulations!" Elizabeth Jane exclaimed. She was joined by all the others in telling William and Madeline how happy they were for them.

Alexander asked, "And when does your law practice open, William?"

"The first of the month. About the same time Lincoln will have his inauguration."

Chapter Fifty-nine: Washington D.C., March 4, 1865.

It had been raining for weeks prior to President Lincoln's second Inaugural ceremony and Philadelphia Avenue was a sea of mud and standing water. But those conditions did not keep close to fifty thousand citizens away. Inside the Capitol, Andrew Jackson was sworn in as the new Vice President and spoke for several minutes and rumor later indicated he may have had too many spirits prior to his long speech.

Finally President Lincoln came out and stood on the platform of the East Portico of the United States Capitol. Negro troops marched and stood at attention below him. He was met with a roar of applause that vibrated through the air, and went on and on, and finally died away. And at that moment the sun burst through the clouds and flooded the event with light. Some felt it was a sign that good things were ahead.

Although many may have expected Lincoln's speech to be about victory, it was not. He came forth with empathy and tolerance in his words, and then a plea to his fellow countrymen to come together for a lasting peace.

When his speech was over, he was sworn into office by Chief Justice Salmon Chase, and that was followed by cheers, artillery fire, and a parade. Later that evening, the White House had a public reception and the President was said to shake the hands of nearly five thousand who came to show their admiration and respect.

The newspapers published his address and it was read by thousands upon thousands and it appeared to most that the war was coming to a close.

This is what the newspaper printed: Fellow-Countrymen: At this second appearing to take the oath of the Presidential office there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first. Then a statement somewhat in detail of a course to be pursued seemed fitting and proper. Now, at the expiration of four years, during which public declarations have been constantly called forth on every point and phase of the great contest which still absorbs the attention and engrosses the energies of the nation, little that is new could be presented. The progress of our arms, upon which all else chiefly depends, is as well known to the public as to myself, and it is, I trust, reasonably satisfactory and encouraging to all. With high hope for the future, no prediction in regard to it is ventured.

On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending civil war. All dreaded it, all sought to avert it. While the inaugural address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Union without war, urgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war-seeking to dissolve the Union and divide effects by negotiation. Both parties deprecated war, but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive, and the other would accept war rather than let it perish, and the war came.

One-eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the southern part of it. These slaves const.i.tuted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was somehow the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union even by war, while the Government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war the magnitude or the duration which it has already attained. Neither antic.i.p.ated that the cause of the conflict might cease with or even before the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible and pray to the same G.o.d, and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just G.o.d's a.s.sistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. That of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes. "Woe unto the world because of offenses; for it must needs be that offenses come, but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh." If we shall suppose that American slavery is one of those offenses which, in the providence of G.o.d, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South this terrible war as the woe due to those by whom the offense came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a living G.o.d always ascribe to Him? Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pa.s.s away. Yet, if G.o.d wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether."

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as G.o.d gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

For the most part, Lincoln's speech was considered to be historic in nature.

In late March, Lincoln, his wife Mary, and son Tad journeyed by steamer River Queen to General Grant's headquarters at City Point, Virginia. When Lincoln concluded his visit of several days with Grant, the General was heading to the front in hopes of having a final offensive against General Lee.

Chapter Sixty: Wednesday, the 22nd Day of March 1864.

Camp 23rd Iowa, State of Alabama Beloved Wife, I seat myself to write you this letter to inform you I am well, and I hope it finds you all well and hearty. Jane, I do not know when this letter will go out for it is difficult for mail to come in or out now. I thought I would start a letter and write a few lines every day until it can go out.

I am glad to read you bought a piece of timber and you think it is worth the money you paid for it. If I understand things and the reports are true, land is going up very fast but it will take a turn and I believe that time is in the not too distant. One extreme always follows another. My idea is that I will buy little until there is a change in prices. If I can get discharged as low down as Memphis I will try and get three or four horses or mules. I can get that amount for one hundred dollars or adding twenty-five dollars more. They are Government property and are run down, and sold to the highest bidder. A great many are young horses and mules and if I can get me a span of manes I can raise me a good team of them. Some may laugh at my idea but I have heard men say that they have seen good teams taken out of such places and for a trifle amount of money. It would be much better to buy such at this time than to pay four or five hundred for a team. If I cannot get a team reasonable then when I get home I will see about it. I would like to buy a lot of sheep when I get home. Let me know how much money you have left after buying the timber.

Well Jane, I am now writing you more lines. Our regiment and the 20th Wisconsin was on a little scout. We marched up the bay about 12 miles, stacked arms, and then had coffee and at 3 pm we fell in and marched back to Sh.e.l.l Hill Cove and bivwacked for the night. We did not have our dog tents with us and it began to rain. The next morning we marched back to camp. I don't know if I ever saw it rain so hard. It was one continual shower. There were not many dry threads on us and we had to wade water. We could not dry our clothes by day or by the fire, but I have adopted a new method here in the army, at least when it is cloudy. I go to bed and get all the clothes that I can on me.

Well, we slayed thousands while we were gone but did not lose on our side. Several of us got very sore fingers in the action. Probably you will be anxious to know what it was we took the lives of. Well, it was oysters, those things I love so much. They were the largest oysters I have ever seen. Some were as large as a person's hand. I like to eat such large ones alive but I like to put a little vinegar. We had no vinegar with us so we made supper of them and that was a most delicious dish. But the one dish I prefer is raw oysters with salt, pepper, and vinegar. I don't know if you have ever ate any of those delicious little animals (as I call them), but if you do eat them you will like them. I cannot see this part of Alabama worth three cents for anything else but oysters, although I have seen a few peach trees in full bloom. You bet it looked nice to see trees and where it was not so sandy, and the timber was of different kinds. It was of pine, the hickory, the oak, magnolia and a great many other shrubberies I cannot name. I presume the further we get in the country we get the better land. The country is very flat where we were and cypress swamps very few miles.

All the b.u.t.ternuts we saw was one deserter that came in our lines. He deserted the Rebel camp at ten o'clock at night and got a small boat and came to our lines. He said there were about five thousand Rebels sixteen miles above the place we were at. The Rebels were on Fish River, three regiments of infantry and three of cavalry. A few scouts is seen every day or two this side. Two hundred had been down the day before where we stopped, these are watching our movement. The Rebels may not make a stand at Fish River. If our force is small and does not out number them very much they may resist stubbornly but I presume when we move we will go strong enough to drive them before us as the wind does the chaff. We are getting a very heavy force in this part of the country. And another force is coming across from Baton Rouge. We will have a force coming in every direction against Mobile. I cannot see the hole where they will get out at if they wait until we begin to move. I understand that the Rebels have been reinforced in this section of the country, that is all for the better. By so doing, we probably may gobble them.

To take Lee's Army out and all the Rebels east of the Mississippi River combined cannot whip us. Give us a good general and when concentrated, our army will be very large. I understand that General Canby will command the expedition and General A. J. Smith will be with us. The old 13th AC is reorganized and we belong to it and General Granger commands. He has little style about him, and little about General Canby and Smith. The generals in this army are very common men. Just such men as we want for the field. When an army is at post, or during garrison duty, then it will do to put on style. I like to see it when it is done at the proper time and place but in the field is not the place for style. The division we belong to is at Fort Barrancas in the vicinity of Pensacola. I cannot tell the reason why we are not with it but are detached. We may join our division soon or we may not. I understand that the 1st, 2nd, and 8th Iowa Cavalry is coming across. There is some boys in the 1st I used to go to school with.

Well Jane, our three years is rolling around. If we live we will see each other before long. The colonel says that our time will be up the 26th day of August. I think if we get through this spring campaign that the majority of us will get home.

It is still hard to get a letter out. I did receive two of your letters but did not have time to read them until now as we had to march and then built a great many bridges. Our average distance was about five or six miles and yesterday we had to draw the wagons and artillery very nigh all the way by hand. It had rained so the ground was very soft. This morning we crossed over on the north side of the Fish River and went in camp on the left of Smith's Corps. How long we will remain is more than I can tell. Probably we will stay here long enough to draw rations and then go ahead. This beats all states that I ever seen to march in. We have marched about thirty miles since we started and it is a very low flat swamp country. It is so miserable that the birds will hardly live here and there have been but few people in the country we have come through.

We could hardly get any beef to eat and the beef we did get was so poor that it would hardly stand up long enough to shoot it. But we would eat them and make supper of their loins just because they belonged to the Rebels not because we relished the beef. I am in hopes that we will come across more hogs and other forage when we march again for I am a big eater.

Our line extends about seven miles long and more troops coming. I think we have force enough to whip all the Rebels this side of where this column and the one from Pensacola will form a junction and then we can wail them until they dribble like pups if our army is rightly handled.

Well Jane, the mail goes out at 2 o'clock so I will have to close. I may not get another chance to write until after Mobile is taken and if such should be the case you need not be uneasy about me. I must close for now.

Your affectionate husband, Silas