"Busy and tired. How about you?"

"Oh, just fine. I came out to check on my peach orchard."

He glanced toward the trees. "In full bloom. Quite pretty. You should have a good crop." He returned his gaze to her. "Be sure to keep them well fertilized."

She noticed his hazel eyes had a bit of a sparkle and she dared to wonder if his statement had been an innocent one. Had he been in a position to have seen the grave digging? Or even to have heard the shot? She again became cautious but his warmness and friendliness seemed to have the ability to dissolve away any worry. "Yes, of course, I will." A soft breeze had come up and she felt a lock of her hair fall free. As she brushed it back she noticed he was watching her closely. She blushed and he smiled.

"Ms. Taylor ... Madeline ... I want to say something that will be completely out of line and you can put me in my place but I have to say it-you are so beautiful."

She took in a quick breath of astonishment, startled by his boldness. She felt a fresh blush as her own excitement of hearing those words from this handsome man impacted her. She caught touches of humor around his hazel eyes as he awaited her response. "Uh, thank you, Lieutenant."

"Why don't you call me William? That only seems right after revealing myself to you the way I just did. Of course, that would be only in private ... if there is ever any other opportunity for that."

She smiled. "Thank you, William," she repeated. Her heartbeat had increased as his words reverberated within her mind. In private. Had he any idea how inviting those words were? Yes, he knew. She could see it in his eyes. And she wondered what he could see in hers. She felt vulnerable, defenseless-and yes, at this moment even willing to throw her life away. After all hadn't she just put her life on the line when she pulled the trigger of that pistol. Be sensible, Madeline, she told herself.

"I hope I haven't offended you. I've seen a lot of women in my time, but there is something about you that drew me to you the first time I walked into your home. Of course, your beauty, but something more. I can't explain it, and I guess I probably shouldn't even try," he said. I'm sorry, I should be going." He turned from her.

"No, wait William. Tell me more, please," she said, her own words surprising her. "I don't know where my manners are. Let's walk over to the stables and you can give your horse some water and I'm sure you would like a cold drink also. I'm sure you both need it."

As they walked across the pasture, Madeline hung on his every word. He told her how startled he had been at their first meeting. "That first evening when I saw you from the back, I was curious and when you turned to face me and our eyes met, I think my heart flipped in my chest. I was not prepared to see such beauty at close range. But there was more. I felt like I was taken back to some other time and place, other circ.u.mstances, a time when you and I had been lovers, maybe even husband and wife. Has that ever happened to you? Maybe with your husband the first time you met him?"

Madeline laughed softly. "No, that did not happen with my husband."

"Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Yes, I think I do," she replied. A part of her reveled in his open admiration of her. "It was not that dramatic for me when I first saw you, but I think I do understand because I feel very comfortable with you and I suppose one could say, like I have always known you in some way. Is that what you mean?"

His eyes danced with excitement. "Yes, exactly! But even more so. It was very disconcerting. And I admit, it has been disconcerting ever since and especially after each time I come here. You're on my mind constantly. And I'm troubled by that. You're a married woman and I have no business even having this conversation with you. I have over stepped the bounds, I know."

Madeline welcomed every word he had said. As they approached the stables Nicholas glanced their way. Madeline called out, "Nicholas, come get the Lieutenant's horse and give him some feed and water and ask Sadie to bring out a tray of cold sweet tea to the garden."

Nicholas replied, "Yes, ma'am." He took the horse reins from Lieutenant Edson and led the horse toward the stable. As Madeline guided the Lieutenant to the secluded garden alongside the house, they were greeted and joined by one of Madeline's dogs. The Lieutenant asked, "Have you ever been to New York City?"

"Yes, twice."

For a long moment he studied her intensely, "Maybe I saw you there?"

There was a tingling in her body as she wondered if he could have seen her there and remembered her. She shrugged, "Could be."

He was silent a moment, then said, "I'm grasping at straws, you know that? Trying to invent some explanation for the impact you had on me ... and still do."

She smiled. "You know, William, some things defy explanation."

He chuckled, "Yes, I suppose they do. As I mentioned, I have no business ...." He played with the dog for a moment, then asked, "Uh, is your husband at home?"

She said, "No, he won't be back until this evening. He went to a political meeting at Allan Jenkins's home."

"I'm sorry to admit that I am somewhat relieved by that news."

She was relieved that Lawrence was gone, too. She didn't want this to stop. "Don't be sorry. I understand."

His eyes searched her face, "Do you?"

She met his eyes and said softly, "Yes, William. I do. I ...."

At that moment Sadie appeared with a tray of cold tea and biscuits. She sat the tray on the small garden table.

Madeline told her, "Thank you, Sadie, that will be all." Sadie nodded and retreated.

Madeline said to him, "Come, William, let's sit and have some cool refreshment."

As Madeline sat in the chair she became aware that she still carried the pistol in her dress pocket. She fluffed her dress, carefully laying a fold of material over the concealed pistol.

William picked up a gla.s.s of tea and drank half a gla.s.s. "Ah, that is refreshing. Thank you for offering," he said. He looked around the garden. "You have a lovely garden here, Madeline."

"Yes, it is special to me. I often come out here to be alone and read," she replied. She sipped her tea then said, "Tell me something, William. Have you ever had an affair with a married woman?"

He studied her thoughtfully for a moment. "No, I haven't."

This time it was she who remained silent and thoughtful. He spoke again, "It has never been my style to intrude on a marriage. I feel guilt just sitting here with you knowing full well you are a happily married woman."

She sighed deeply, aware that his eyes were studying her with a curious intensity. He had been so open and honest with her and she felt a twinge of guilt as he indicated her happy marriage, and she knew she should not let him know that her marriage was far from happy. But something in her was daring and willing to expose herself further. She replied softly, "It's not been as happy as I had wished."

"Oh? Do you want me to say I'm not happy to hear that or ... do you want the truth?"

"Sometimes the truth hurts too much," she replied. "So, maybe we'd better leave it at that."

"That wasn't fair of me. I apologize. I care enough about you to want you to be happy, really. And I am sorry if things are not the way you had hoped."

"Sometimes the things we think we want are not the right things for us. Maybe that's life, who knows?"

"What do you want from life, Madeline?"

"Well, for several years I wanted children. That need has pretty much receded now. I think I expected more contentment, more satisfaction, and that has been lacking. How about you, William?"

"What do I want from life?"

"Yes."

"First, I would want the war to end. Then to find a good partner, someone to share my time with, maybe children, though they have not been paramount in my mind."

"How come you've not found the right one? You're an attractive man and I would have guessed you could have had about anyone you wanted."

He smiled softly. "I've never seen her until ... maybe I was waiting ... maybe I still am."

Madeline blushed as her eyes locked with his. She could hardly hear her own words as she said, "I wish things were different, William, I really do. If I wasn't married I ... you ...."

William shrugged. "I guess we all have unfulfilled wishes, Madeline." The dog sat at William's feet, his head resting on his knee. William stroked the dog in silence for several minutes, then said, "I'll be honest with you, Madeline. I've never been in love until now. I want you ... want you more than any other woman I've ever known. The feeling will not go away. You've been in my nightly dreams, my waking dreams, and I'm not sure how to change that, or even what to do about it. I've even thought of rea.s.signment so I won't be anywhere around here."

She felt her stomach react to the thought of not seeing him again and was not even surprised by her reaction. "No, don't do that." The words were out of her mouth before she could catch them.

"It might be best," he replied softly.

Her mind swirled. Love. She had known, yes, since their first meeting that there were strong feelings between them. She was drawn to him, often thought of him, too, wanted to know more about him. Today she had ended one man's life and now another man was offering new meaning to her life. Could she turn away from his offering? And more importantly, did she want to turn away? Was she about to put her life in jeopardy for the second time today? A Confederate officer, and she a Union sympathizer, clandestine intelligence operations, dangerous in more ways than one. Could she separate the war from her emotional desires? Could she risk destroying her marriage-and even further risking her life? What if her husband found out?-what if both of them found out? An affair. The war. A spy. No guarantees. How would it end for all of them?

She sighed deeply and all her fear and doubts dissolved in that moment. She said, "I go riding alone every morning at seven."

If he was surprised, his face did not show it. His eyes were soft as he said, "You shouldn't be out there alone. It's not safe."

"Well, then make it safe for me, William. I could use a riding partner. I take the trail on the other side of the peach orchard. The same trail you took down the hill this afternoon."

Chapter Fourteen: Lucinda.

Benjamin heard a clank as the jail door opened. He lifted his head from the cot as Sheriff Franklin's gruff voice echoed in the hall. "Ben, your grandpappy done bailed you out. Get your things together."

Benjamin stood up and saw Alexander standing down the hall. His grandfather was a sight for sore eyes. Alexander, dressed in his Sunday best suit, smiled and gave him a salute with a tip of his hat. It was a welcome relief to be going home and leaving behind the cold and unfriendly six-by-six-foot jail cell.

Sheriff Franklin unlocked the cell door and waited patiently as Benjamin gathered up his few belongings.

Benjamin told him, "Sheriff, please tell Mrs. Franklin that I've appreciated her home cooking. It's made life a little more bearable around here."

Franklin replied, "Sure will, Ben. She'll appreciate hearing that."

As grandfather and grandson walked into the Sheriff's inner office, Franklin told them, "I wouldn't linger in town today. It is best you get on your way. Some are still a little heated and we don't want any problems."

Alexander said, "We will be on our way without delay, Sheriff."

Franklin patted Benjamin on the shoulder and said, "I expect you back in a timely manner when the trial date is set."

"I'll be here," Benjamin replied.

As Benjamin moved toward the front door, Franklin added, "Sorry you have to go through this. I think you know I had no choice."

Alexander spoke up before Benjamin had a chance to. "Sheriff, we'll get this matter cleared up and put it behind us all." Alexander opened the door and motioned Benjamin out. "Have a good day, Sheriff," he said as he tipped his hat and pulled the door shut.

Benjamin laughed as they walked away. "Hey Pap, that was swift," he said. "Were you afraid I might say something to the Sheriff about his 'choices.'"

Alexander chuckled. "Knowing you're my grandson, I would have bet a buck or two on it."

The late morning sun was partially hidden by cloud cover. Benjamin breathed in deeply, grateful for the fresh outdoor air. He was relieved to be going home. He did not like being confined to a jail cell at all and he sure as h.e.l.l hoped a jail cell would not be in his future.

Alexander's wagon moved along the main street of Marshalltown and Benjamin glanced toward the open doorway of the tavern as they pa.s.sed. Several men were standing out on the sidewalk, smoking, and in conversation. Two of the men looked their way and Benjamin turned away and focused his gaze elsewhere. Funny, he thought, a shot of whiskey did not even sound good. He had been alcohol free and sober for more than a week, since his binge at the hotel in Iowa City before Lucinda came back into his life.

He wished Alexander would push the horse a little faster. They were approaching Karns Tailor Shop and he wanted to get beyond that as quickly as possible.

The Tailor Shop did not go unnoticed by Alexander. He glanced over at his grandson. "That's where they live?"

"Yeah." Benjamin noticed the CLOSED sign in the window before glancing away. Alexander remained silent as they pa.s.sed on by.

About the time they left town, Benjamin relaxed, feeling comfortable now that Marshalltown was behind them. He asked the question he had been wondering about since he first had sight of his grandfather. "My father refused to come, didn't he?"

Alexander was quiet as he concentrated on lighting his pipe. As soon as the pipe was lit and the aroma of tobacco filled the air, he answered, "Said he had a mill order promised today."

Benjamin sighed and said, "That couldn't wait, huh?" He wondered why he even bothered to ask the question.

"Ah, don't worry about it, Benjamin."

Benjamin was quiet a moment before saying, "Pap, that is so like him. Do you think I can reach a time where he acts like he cares about me?"

"Oh, he does care."

His voice was cool. "You could sure fool me. How angry is he?"

Alexander rubbed his chin and then looked at his grandson. "He'll calm down."

"Pretty angry, huh?"

"He's concerned."

"What's he saying?"

"I suppose his main concern is that you might have been drinking."

"d.a.m.n. I'll probably never convince him otherwise."

"Were you?"

"No. I hadn't had a drink in days."

"Then tell him that."

"What good will that do? He won't believe it," Benjamin said with frustration.

Alexander remained silent apparently not in the mood to defend Benjamin's father any more. Benjamin was just as happy his grandfather did not try to justify his father's actions any further. He knew how it would be when he got home. Nothing would change that. It never did.

Benjamin was grateful for the breeze coming from the west. Even though it was stirring up dust from the open prairie, it gave relief from the heat of the sun. He settled back into the wagon seat, stretched his legs out and relaxed into the monotonous movement of the horse drawn wagon. He tried to clear his head of thoughts of his problems, his father, and Lucinda, but even watching and listening to the abundant birds in the gra.s.s along the roadway, or seeing an occasional rabbit dart across the road, did little to clear his thoughts.

Alexander spoke up after a few minutes of silence. "Your Mama packed some food for us. In the box behind you. You hungry?"

"Not yet. I had a pretty good breakfast."

"Okay. We'll stop in a bit."